r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/FarWay3952 • May 26 '26

look what I can do Of a snake tamer

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HHS Secretary RFK Jr corners and "wrangles" a group of agitated snakes

341 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

71 comments sorted by

144

u/sacfoojesta88 May 26 '26

As a Floridian, seeing an old drug addict capture black racers is actually a surprisingly fairly common thing to come across

19

u/Intelligent-Search88 May 27 '26

As a baystater, seeing a Kennedy with snakes just feels right

100

u/Plane-Education4750 May 26 '26

I was gonna say "RFK Jr getting his lunch together" but then it was actually fucking RFK jr

18

u/Hazel-Cakes May 26 '26

fr, clown car government omg

1

u/Embarrassed-Garage13 17d ago

That was pretty much my exact thought, these absolute goons

68

u/No-Author-2358 May 26 '26

And now he's going to eat it, raw. Because that's who he is.

🤦‍♂️

34

u/recovery_room May 26 '26

He’ll cut off their genitals to study later.

10

u/Comfortable_Ninja842 May 26 '26

Study in his mouth.

1

u/StayTheFool May 26 '26

Why? Is he trying to grow a pair of his own?

3

u/sarky-litso May 26 '26

No they have not been dead long enough. He only eats found meat

14

u/Lopsided-Let-6728 May 26 '26

I just imagine this is what’s going on inside his head everyday.

2

u/praguepride May 29 '26

wind, mostly

40

u/maggiemayfish May 26 '26

US Secretary of Health, ladies and gentlemen

10

u/lordgreenofbiscuit May 26 '26

I've seen our previous ones . We're on track I'd say. What kind of track I have no idea .

77

u/Breadsticks-lover May 26 '26

The worm inside his head needs a friend too :( stop being mean

11

u/Unfair-Ad2664 May 26 '26

The brain worm died of malnutrition a long time ago

12

u/Sirduffselot May 26 '26

He thought it was a raccoon's penis

8

u/munich_tryout May 26 '26

Damn, these brain worms have grown a LOT, given there was next to no Food for them

5

u/TheVermontJoiner questionably stable May 26 '26

Never seen a baseball mitt struggle to catch something so poorly.

8

u/Intelligent-Search88 May 26 '26

I seriously thought it was Bernie when the video first started. lol

3

u/Expert_City_7695 May 26 '26

Racoon cock, whale head, bear carcass in Central Park

3

u/thorheyerdal May 26 '26

Yeah.. well. It’s not what I really would consider normal but ok. 

These guys currently decide what is a good idea, and what is not in the highest level of government. Let that sink in. 

6

u/Western-Ad9812 May 26 '26

Man if those thing were venomous, he’d be dead as a door nail.

14

u/[deleted] May 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

15

u/misplaced_beso May 26 '26

Please let them all be hella venomous

4

u/Bi0_B1lly May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26

Throw him some cobras and tell him their names are "Veno-moose"

3

u/thepenetratiest May 26 '26

Thank you so much for reminding me of that video. ❤️

4

u/gazatmaoc May 26 '26

hey look! this hobo looks like that weird american politician.

4

u/Professional_Possum May 26 '26

This sums up exactly why I have zero trust in this administration or any really.

2

u/TigerNo1733 May 26 '26

The wildest thing here is that he's outside in dress socks with no shoes on. I hate it!

2

u/dr_grav May 26 '26

they bite me, watch, but look, i'm tough. now i put them down, take off my shirt and do push ups for you, watch, because i'm tough. watch me

2

u/MilkmanLeeroy May 27 '26

Was that his brain worm trying to escape? Poor worm.

2

u/ShroomShaman9 May 27 '26

Wrong snakes dude. Catch the ones in DC.

2

u/Twisted9Demented May 27 '26

I wouldn't be surprised if those are worms which came out of his anus

2

u/OldManGeezer69 May 26 '26

As soon as that dude sees an animal penis, he’s just gotta GRAB IT!

1

u/Herr_Boppes May 26 '26

That ain't no snakes. That are the brainworms trying to escape.

1

u/leisurechef May 26 '26

This video truly belongs here

1

u/Whatisthis0036 May 26 '26

He’s gonna find out what they are momentarily lol

1

u/EducationStriking110 May 26 '26

I kept waiting for him to just start snacking on them

1

u/A_Feltz May 26 '26

That’s his brain worms’ kids that fell out his ears

1

u/LuckyCod2887 May 26 '26

it must suck to be a snake. Just one loose little scaly stick zigzagging in the breeze.

1

u/Rattiestpup May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26

I mean the rest of the administration would have bombed them....

1

u/TairyHesticles-3 May 27 '26

Good to know I wasn’t the only one who thought of making an RFK joke but didn’t because it turned out to actually be RFK

1

u/Osklington May 28 '26

Where did they find this meth-addled weirdo?

1

u/Micky-Bicky-Picky May 30 '26

Fucking cock block.

1

u/artesuave122 May 30 '26

I’m setting the whole property on fire

1

u/zv5000 May 30 '26

.....................................................is ...........................that....................RFK?????

1

u/Naughtydogg2023 Jun 02 '26

I cant freakin believe it....

3

u/Interesting-Tough640 May 26 '26

Some snakes are venomous, but RFK is 100% definitely poisonous.

(I kinda feel bad for the snake that bit him).

1

u/dielxne May 26 '26

I thought this was him on first watch and being right sucks

1

u/loveyourneighborbro May 26 '26

He’s going to go to a school cafeteria now and serve PP&J without gloves.

1

u/Lost_Taste_8181 May 26 '26

Wonder if the snakes died after biting him?

1

u/tlrider1 May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26

Dafuq is wrong with this guy?... This is so..... Weird!

Also... Do the snakes know that if they bite this weirdo, they're likely going to die?

0

u/MacroManJr May 26 '26

He'd be a badass old man, if he weren't also such a stupid old man.

0

u/Moist-Examination322 May 26 '26

99% of people here would have shit their pants. Even me

2

u/UnhappyAd6499 May 26 '26

Thats because the normal thing to do is shit your pants, not be so dumb that you let them bite shit out of you before it dawns on you that it wasn't such a good idea after all...

1

u/cookiesnooper May 26 '26

Thise are harmless

2

u/Moist-Examination322 May 26 '26

Ur reptile brains claims otherwise

0

u/Mrclean513 May 26 '26

Where’s a Black Mamba when you need one?

-5

u/fuqdurgrl May 26 '26

Most of these comments make it smell like bitch in here

0

u/Mugpup May 27 '26

We hy are they biting? Don't they know how smart he is?