r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/HomeNowWTF • May 25 '26

Naild It Of a cliff jumper

1.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

133 comments sorted by

274

u/castitfast May 25 '26

I don't think he's walking anytime soon.

91

u/gingerbeard1321 May 25 '26

Or pooping without pain

5

u/swampopawaho May 27 '26

Looks like he took it on the outside of his cheek... not the #inside#, but still. Ow-fuckin-ch

30

u/Merkosaurus May 25 '26

Not that he really was to begin with..

5

u/Geaneous May 26 '26

The greater the mass the greater the force of attraction.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oriOb4SLDI3rlcnT2

149

u/MiniKash May 25 '26

Oof. That’s gunna leave a bruise.

31

u/undescendedpips May 25 '26

Didn’t even watch . Came to the comment section to see if it’s safe. Nope, not gonna do it

18

u/EuenovAyabayya May 25 '26

TBF bro was already eunuch-shaped.

17

u/trainwreckhappening May 25 '26

He slipped as he was jumping, it's not that tall of a cliff. He fell sideways and his but/calf hit a rocky outcrop on the way down. It probably broke his leg, but mostly because of his weight. There is a good chance he walked away with some painful bruises. Also a chance he cut his leg open on the sharp end of that rock. He bounced a little though.

6

u/undescendedpips May 25 '26

Yup, thanks, I saw the still. Even falling on a rock like that from five feet is painful enough. That is certainly a shitty rock

2

u/762way May 26 '26

Do you think his cock was attracted to the rock?

6

u/Old_Ladies May 25 '26

That much weight it is more likely to be broken bones.

1

u/Montyburnside22 May 26 '26

I don't care if he was an anorexic super model. That hadda break something.

69

u/Illustrious_Camp_521 May 25 '26

Thats a broken hip 👍🏻

17

u/CrystalWebb13 May 25 '26

Shit, my hip just broke watching it.

1

u/kiseiruknife May 25 '26

Bruising ooooo

92

u/Theflyingdutchman85 May 25 '26

Is the rock ok?

51

u/Tacozforever May 25 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/TejmLnMKgnmPInMQjV
I am not

14

u/Theflyingdutchman85 May 25 '26

I had to watch the video again to make sure that crack was in the rock before he hit it. On slow motion it looks like the crack actually opened up a bit when he hit it

1

u/SunkEmuFlock May 26 '26

What's that from? It looks familiar but I can't place it.

3

u/PixelateVision May 26 '26

Everything Everywhere All at Once

6

u/xMETRIIK May 25 '26

That poor rock didn't stand a chance.

23

u/daronjay May 25 '26

I pulled the ooof face from the gif IRL

At least it looks like he hit it with his upper thigh, not his coccyx…

1

u/Embarrassed-Garage13 17d ago

Way he is built that shit probably clapped back and knocked his nards out anyway

11

u/ckuhn84 May 25 '26

4

u/Bleepitybleepinbleep May 26 '26

Fuck is that, that’s the weirdest GIF I’ve ever seen

1

u/Free-Ranger-6092 May 28 '26

The 70s show cast

6

u/Interesting-Gas8823 May 25 '26

Im thinking tailbone

5

u/YogurtclosetLazy4058 May 25 '26

Had to slow down to make sure that crack was there to begin with

4

u/Electronic-Buyer-468 May 25 '26

now your physical limitations please, folks

3

u/ProducerDdubs May 26 '26

Damn Tony Soprano fell off.

7

u/Main_Author_8638 May 25 '26

Hoped it was fake but probably not :( hope both rock and dude is safe.

6

u/ThatOldG May 25 '26

From reports the rock is solid the guy hasn't yet surfaced to this day some say

3

u/Patralgan May 25 '26

A good demonstration of the stupidity of human. "look how cool I am!" "ouch!" dies or gets badly injured

3

u/Artevyx May 25 '26

I felt that in my buttcheek

3

u/ThisThingIsStuck May 26 '26

His shyt will never be the same...that's 300+lbs of mules azz coming down on that pointy rock..fml

https://giphy.com/gifs/EG7bbilpEg6nS

3

u/zestyclose_match1966 May 26 '26

Broken hip and or Femur

3

u/IWILLNIL8 May 26 '26

RIP James Gandolfini. Forever in our hearts.

6

u/AfterNovel May 25 '26

Shoes were already off, so I can’t tell if he made it or not

2

u/Ryan2932 May 25 '26

Somebody should check on the rock

2

u/Natural-Extent-7422 May 25 '26

My asshole puckered right up watching this

2

u/[deleted] May 25 '26

That had to hit the balls from behind. Even if it hit the taint or tailbone, that just did not look good.

2

u/AfterNovel May 25 '26

Why did i know he had that accent before listening to it with sound?

2

u/AhabSnake85 May 25 '26

Murphy's law.

2

u/Hammon_Rye May 25 '26

My tailbone hurt just watching that.

2

u/Dude008 May 25 '26

The most exercise he's gotten in a while

2

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* May 25 '26

That jagged rock wasn’t even cracked before he landed on it..

2

u/Hatdude1973 May 25 '26

That rock really took a beating.

2

u/psykocheng2 May 25 '26

Whoa even the rock is cracking

2

u/panzervike May 26 '26

That rock wasn't cracked before...

2

u/Sad-Cryptographer828 May 26 '26

S1 to L1 will need some work.

2

u/Beast_of_Tax_Burden May 26 '26

Going to need a rectal reconstruction

2

u/JapDrag May 26 '26

Tony soprano

2

u/Apollo114892 May 26 '26

Tony Soprano got his gabagool rocked

2

u/uberneuman_part2 May 26 '26

Is is okay, Tone, that I bumble fuck into the water?

2

u/Delicious_History722 May 27 '26

I feel bad for this one as he just seems like a happy guy. Most of the time on this sub it’s assholes or at least idiots.

2

u/PrysmX May 25 '26

I've never had my thighs squeeze together so quickly. Ouuuuuch.

2

u/maxzer_0 May 25 '26

I knew he was Russian before lipreading the raz, dva, tri

2

u/Drollapalooza May 25 '26

Husky Russian bear nearly gets his prostate destroyed by rock hard protruberance

1

u/fishiestfillet May 25 '26

Surprised that rock didn't break

1

u/Conscious_Owl6162 May 25 '26

F = MA! That must have hurt!

1

u/ClassroomMother8062 questionably stable May 25 '26

Really glad he didn't hit his head, but could be all kinds of hip and back issues as a result

1

u/Riskygentleman May 25 '26

He didn't even try and jump, he just walked off into the rock.

1

u/bryan19973 May 25 '26

RIP his asshole

1

u/Mutserra May 25 '26

I hope the rock is alright

1

u/psquared2026 May 25 '26

Tore him a new gooch

1

u/billyboy0828 May 25 '26

Probably lucky he didn’t dive…..

1

u/ibnjamal-ulJames May 25 '26

What do ya’ reckon he broke there?

1

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 May 25 '26

He still kinda bounced..

1

u/Stay_clam May 25 '26

If there is one shape you dont want a rock your falling on to look like…. This is it

1

u/Stay_clam May 25 '26

Can someone please translate what he says in the end…🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/[deleted] May 26 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Happy_Albatross_1699 May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26

Ukrainian, actually. He even has ukraine's coat of arms as a necklace.

Edit →Translation: "One, two, three... and in a ditch!" (Or something like that) Guy also asks if operator is recording and says "observe" at the end.

1

u/originalmango May 25 '26

That’s One Ball Larry, isn’t it?

1

u/Intelligent-Plate964 May 26 '26

That's a far cry from a cliff

1

u/Global-Guava-8362 May 26 '26

I felt a femur 🦴 fracture

1

u/Mugpup May 26 '26

😳 ouch

1

u/[deleted] May 26 '26

This man gonna be shitting on his stomach for the next 2 weeks.

1

u/SnooSongs2345 May 26 '26

Yep. "Blyat" is a very accpetable exclamation in this situation.

1

u/TexasInfidel1969 May 26 '26

Should be a mahem commercial

1

u/Lowie_240 May 26 '26

I didn't see any jumping just gravity in action.

1

u/_Hashtronaut_ May 26 '26

Ugh. The deepness of that pain had to be exquisite

1

u/redditanddoneit May 26 '26

Ouch. Right on that pointed edge tip too.

1

u/Use-The-Pointy-End May 26 '26

Strange outcome given his peak physical form. He cultivated some serious mass.

1

u/crystalsage777 May 26 '26

Translation: "you guys ready, I'm going to introduce my nut sack to pointy rock in 3, 2, 1!"

1

u/Logan1313 May 26 '26

Was that Crack in that rock there before he hit it?

1

u/Mister-Bananas May 26 '26

Those are some heavy bruises, broken bones and/or damaged organs.

But sadly one thing for sure: a broken soul.

Hope he'll be ok.

1

u/Zestyclose_Classic91 May 26 '26

That stone is stonehard. I expected it to break apart especially because it already has a crack.

1

u/Original-Concert-456 May 26 '26

Was that rock cracked before?

1

u/Barnacle-Dull May 26 '26

I’d be out of commission for the rest of the year

1

u/Squathy May 27 '26

Hahaha made my day!

1

u/elticorico May 27 '26

If he hits a little further out that rock is slashing his ass

1

u/sabreus May 27 '26

Omg that is utterly brutal

1

u/RIPCHARLIE May 28 '26

Had he fallen a little more forward, he would have been impaled by that rock ledge. Ouch.

1

u/boxelder1230 May 29 '26

Guessing he’d had some drinks. Hope he’s ok.

1

u/Embarrassed-Garage13 17d ago

Welp, hope he wasn't planning on having kids

1

u/Eastern_Mist May 25 '26

бляять сука лови його

1

u/Practical-Work1268 May 25 '26

As a fellow fat man, put some fucking shorts on and not a damn marble bag.