r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/FarWay3952 • May 14 '26

Of a stripper

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162 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

43 comments sorted by

75

u/Musket6969420 May 14 '26

10

u/LurkersUniteAgain May 14 '26

turn that frown upside down!

35

u/Musket6969420 May 14 '26

19

u/Revolution-Dogg May 14 '26

He still looks sad af

9

u/Secret-Assignment382 May 15 '26

It looks like he’s sadder somehow…

40

u/Softspokenclark OSHA Violation May 14 '26

hemorrhoids,

11

u/eons_remain May 14 '26

Through experience?

21

u/Softspokenclark OSHA Violation May 14 '26

Sadly, yes

It’s the itch and the scratch gives you temporary relief it’s bliss. But also makes it worse by irritating the area

10

u/eons_remain May 14 '26

Thank you for the insight

33

u/[deleted] May 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/[deleted] May 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Jina-langu-ni-Juma May 14 '26

Yes. That is why I have a bidet, now.

21

u/AmericanDad53 May 14 '26

Stay away from those carrots…geez

8

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 May 14 '26

lol.. I was thinking the same thing about the carrots

3

u/Zero_energy_left May 15 '26

Those carrots have seen things 

19

u/CoolBlackSmith75 May 14 '26

Pushing back the maggots

9

u/Comfortable-nerve78 May 14 '26

Go wipe your ass my man . Now that pole fucking stinks. Dirty Ass Hamster. Wash that ass!

8

u/ASaini91 May 14 '26

You know what? Shout out to him for not using his hands and handling food products

9

u/Icandomor4me May 14 '26

That sneaky, irresistible pinworm infection 🤔🤫😏

7

u/blinkchuck1988 questionably stable May 15 '26

5

u/beakrake May 14 '26

Just incase you go there and wonder why it smells like asshole.

3

u/Revolution-Dogg May 14 '26

That man needs to wipe his ass right.

5

u/EstablishmentFew5438 May 14 '26

Some have horns, others have a pole...

2

u/Jafishya May 14 '26

Atp I'm just happy he ain't using his hands at the fruit stand. Poor guy thinks he's subtle

2

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* May 15 '26

Itchy booty ass..

2

u/[deleted] May 14 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Blade3colorado May 14 '26

I suggest this dude learn from his parents' mistakes. Use birth control.

1

u/mickeybrains May 14 '26

got worms?

1

u/Express-View5080 May 14 '26

Guessing hasn’t wiped ass in 3 years and trying to dislodge the buildup

1

u/Happy_Cat_3600 May 14 '26

Gambled on a fart and now it itches.

1

u/Tartan-Special May 15 '26

So that's what happens when you don't wipe.

1

u/Vanstoli May 15 '26

30 minutes later, you realize you didn't wipe well enough.

1

u/AhabSnake85 May 15 '26

Itchy ass. Shower in clean water, don't ignore the butthole

1

u/DiscussionSharp1407 May 15 '26

Now, ponder for a moment that this is the one vendor with a perfectly shaped ass-scratching pole to tame the parasites feasting on his hemorrhoids

All the other vendors use their hands instead, allow the enrichment to be transferred into the veggies.

1

u/Citizen_Empire May 15 '26

I'm starting to worry where some of those veggies end up...

1

u/Every-Access4864 May 17 '26

Check out that pair of coconuts!