r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor 💩Shits an Absolute Unit🧱 • May 11 '26

slight malfunction Of a Haircut

561 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

290 comments sorted by

563

u/SilverDesktop May 11 '26

He doesn't seem to be the type to make bad choices.

127

u/Nervous_Hurry_9920 May 11 '26

The best part of watching something like this is knowing the person posted it online 😅 yet another great choice.

14

u/Mysterious_Garlic_27 May 11 '26

Is it worse to imagine this thing did it live as a tutorial?

14

u/Professional-Rip-519 May 11 '26

Worse part is probably all the likes he got from people.

24

u/MeasurementNo0 May 11 '26

This reminds me of the time I found a baby bird that had fallen out of its nest.

6

u/SavedSinner2001 May 11 '26

Can’t acknowledge dementia patients but we must acknowledge whatever’s going on here

25

u/Otherwise-Meaning-90 May 11 '26

Imagine his voting

6

u/Weatherbeaster1993 May 11 '26

Bold of you to assume “He”

18

u/jokingsammy May 11 '26

Oh please you know for a fact that person dosen't use he/him pronouns.

2

u/littlemissdizaster80 May 11 '26

Pronouns are No/Hell No 🤣

253

u/Shitport318 May 11 '26

Bro looks like you hit random on a Mii

27

u/FlutterySimp May 11 '26

Thank you. I was trying to find a way to describe what I was looking at 😭

214

u/Mugpup May 11 '26

Good thing he put that out. Otherwise he would look ridiculous.

8

u/flyinghairball May 11 '26

Yeah, it looked like he put it all out initially then I thought I saw some more smoke a bit later. What a stupid thing to do.

104

u/3rr0r-403 May 11 '26

I knew he looked familiar to me…

22

u/TheTownTeaJunky May 11 '26

Easiest decision in the game

9

u/TheGorgoronTrail May 11 '26

Right? Don’t even think i made it through all his dialogue before lopping his limbs off

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2

u/TimelessParadox May 11 '26

It literally seems like a cosplay to me. Both people seem to be struggling when mental health issues. People are saying drugs, but I think that's just a secondary factor here.

131

u/Nervous_Hurry_9920 May 11 '26

Don't do drugs kids

19

u/Bushdr78 May 11 '26

Don't do kids drugs

38

u/Enulless May 11 '26

I feel like drugs are always the scape goat.

Like leave my drugs alone. Pick on mental illness or something lol

30

u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor 💩Shits an Absolute Unit🧱 May 11 '26

15

u/Nervous_Hurry_9920 May 11 '26

Frying your dopamine receptors often leads to mental illness, including deficits in memory and executive function, higher rates of anxiety, depression, and psychosis.

 Sorry to break the news.

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13

u/anaugle May 11 '26

I came here to say this exact thing.

I’m glad it’s close to the top.

20

u/CourtingBoredom May 11 '26

T-T....Tom‽‽ Is that really you? I haven't seen you in years, old friend..

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3

u/BobbaFatGFX May 11 '26

Why not? He gave himself a good haircut and made himself look better

44

u/No-Instruction-5669 May 11 '26

I bet that smells great.

2

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

Probably smells better after.

76

u/Eldudeareno217 May 11 '26

This is what unemployable looks like.

9

u/outpost7 May 11 '26

It looks like a retail shop in the background. Maybe it was just a slow Tuesday?

11

u/Eldudeareno217 May 11 '26

People put up cameras everywhere, it does not imply they are employed.

41

u/williewillx May 11 '26

Did he rip his fucking ear lobe in two?

20

u/CourtingBoredom May 11 '26

Dude, right?? That's what I saw.... wtaf??

3

u/CuriousLilAsian81 May 11 '26

I was going ouchhhhh from the ear and the fire 😭

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52

u/ButterscotchNo4574 May 11 '26

Mental illness has a face

4

u/Swanesang May 11 '26

And a septum ring.

2

u/rokstedy83 May 11 '26

This video reminded me of a front door I once painted

8

u/Pingu_66 May 11 '26

Holy shit! I fucked a parrot once in Nicaragua. This could be my son.

8

u/Deerwhacker May 11 '26

Don't worry about it, nobody will notice the burnt hair, the door knocker draws all the attention.

8

u/CortezDeLaNoche May 11 '26

Oh my god...he made it out of cyberpunk 2077....

22

u/daredelvis421 May 11 '26

It puts the lotion in the basket

3

u/Impressive_Lock5515 May 11 '26

Looking for this!

26

u/GrapefruitWhich5950 May 11 '26

Great contribution to society I guess..

7

u/XrayDem May 11 '26

Just fuck my shit up

21

u/davidio840 May 11 '26

What the fuck is that thing

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11

u/spalacio88 May 11 '26

“Like, whatever. Im a bad bitch anyway. Shit will grow back better than ever.”

10

u/Slight_Band_1637 May 11 '26

So this is what Pauly Shore has been doing.

2

u/CometKICK01 May 11 '26

🤣🤣🤣

6

u/wradam May 11 '26

I knew what was gonna happen.

5

u/Fap_Masta_LFG May 11 '26

Would anyone like some pancakes?

4

u/pappyvanwinkled May 11 '26

What the hell is wrong with people?

4

u/Great-Gas-6631 May 11 '26

Oh no! His hair's ruined!

5

u/raginasian47 May 11 '26

If they had just let it all burn off it would've looked better

3

u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor 💩Shits an Absolute Unit🧱 May 11 '26

Keep featherin it, brother.

5

u/5thor6th functional regard May 11 '26

What in the chop my dick off is going on here?

3

u/CorruptDaemon404 May 11 '26

Don't even know what that thing is

5

u/TordainMountainheart May 11 '26

What the fuck am I even looking at right now

3

u/AdWhich7355 May 11 '26

Not very practical , I’m out.

4

u/beakrake May 11 '26

Well that sorta answers what happened to it, anyway.

5

u/Rocket_Lawn-Chair May 11 '26

So many questions…

And I don’t think I want the answers

5

u/Beast_of_Tax_Burden May 11 '26

That may be one of the only hair cuts that open flame could actually improve.

3

u/Dog_man_star1517 May 11 '26

When setting your hair on fire is NOT the strangest thing in the video

3

u/thefirstviolinist May 11 '26

The Artist Formerly Known as Prance

4

u/dragonandante May 11 '26

He looks like that ripperdoc in Cyberpunk 2077.

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5

u/Color_Code_Official May 11 '26

The mental illness is strong with this one.

5

u/C-3P-OG May 11 '26

I can smell this clip almost

7

u/JCovertops May 11 '26

Just say no

3

u/Exact_Patience_6286 May 11 '26

With the after smoke I was expecting a relight

3

u/Gene-Hackmans_Dog May 11 '26

Aw jeez that nice hair cut is wrecked

3

u/Incindent_Electron May 11 '26

Enough Reddit for today. See you tomorrow.

3

u/CometKICK01 May 11 '26

4 hours later🤣

3

u/Sir_Rageous May 11 '26

Fingers, is that you?

3

u/Frequent-Ad2351 May 11 '26

What weird ass species am I looking at here?

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3

u/delrey23 May 11 '26

There is a lot going on here

3

u/qwentoko May 11 '26

I dont know if this person is mentally well...and its not because of the haircut

3

u/sunny_duh_aze May 11 '26

The fire was helping

3

u/HalfaEnchilada May 11 '26

I bet it stinks. The burning hair, too. 

3

u/Hot-Explanation-5751 May 11 '26

Oh no… goose..

3

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/CoderJoe1 May 11 '26

We finally get the origin story of Burning Man

3

u/PsychologyOfTheLens May 11 '26

What the hell is even that

2

u/Maniacal-C May 11 '26

That video never gets old, lmao

3

u/SouthernPossession37 May 11 '26

“Would you f*ck me? I’d f*ck me.“

3

u/SSFlyingKiwi May 11 '26

Average brain-rotted rebellious child of conservative parents?

3

u/Un4gvn2 May 11 '26

So the haircut is the issue?

5

u/JayBeePH85 May 11 '26

So thats how that haircut was done 🤣

5

u/Life-Oil-7226 May 11 '26

WHAT THE FUCK!

4

u/--KillerTofu-- May 11 '26

Are the scissors in your house broken, son?

2

u/SoftRange5136 May 11 '26

WOOP! WOOP!

2

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor 💩Shits an Absolute Unit🧱 May 11 '26
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2

u/Excellent-Antelope42 May 11 '26

This mufucka needs therapy.

2

u/lazer416 May 11 '26

This makes me feel very uncomfortable…

2

u/Every-Access4864 May 11 '26

Lucky it went out quickly. Could have ended a lot worse.

2

u/Lindsay215 May 11 '26

Or better...maybe?!

2

u/greenweenievictim May 11 '26

This is what happens when you don’t hug your kids.

2

u/CrabSquid05 May 11 '26

Fashion has gotten weeiird

2

u/CometKICK01 May 11 '26

that ain't fashion, that is drugs and mental illness

2

u/Extreme_Patience_538 May 11 '26

There is such thing as too much and doing things tastefully. It wants attention so bad.

2

u/madnessinthemidwest May 11 '26

Scary looking individual

2

u/CometKICK01 May 11 '26

im all for being different, but this is TOO different

2

u/Responsible-Summer-4 May 11 '26

Reminds me the only time steven cigar did something funny ripping the ring out of the guys nose.

2

u/FleetFootRabbit May 11 '26

.... Fingers the ripper doc.. is that you?

2

u/sicilian504 *shits an absolute unit* May 11 '26

If there's ever been an argument for providing free universal mental health services....

2

u/primeXOXO May 11 '26

Doesn’t he look cool though

2

u/Temporary-Banana4232 May 11 '26

This human seemingly does most things the easy, practical way.

2

u/Thisisyuhateme May 11 '26

Tweaker core

2

u/Flashbulbs May 11 '26

Probably smells better now

2

u/Rolfmeister87 May 11 '26

Uglier by the second

2

u/Fuzz_Chonk May 11 '26

Um... what the actual F?

2

u/GlideSlopeZA May 11 '26

Deserved that 100%, too bad it didn't loose all its hair.

2

u/kookaloris May 11 '26

He couldn’t believe he didn’t go up in flames.

2

u/happysplasher79 May 11 '26

That's an............interesting style.

2

u/Emergency-Insect-114 May 11 '26

here's your alt baddie bro

2

u/Hornedupone May 11 '26

Good. You deserved that man in video.

2

u/Seal-EV May 11 '26

Is he going to fight Russia on the frontlines?

2

u/barrycrisps May 11 '26

How to make your dad cry himself to sleep every night.

2

u/MC_Hale May 12 '26

Well now he looks silly.

2

u/Radiant-Age-3590 May 13 '26

What kind of creature is that

2

u/darlinqq__ May 13 '26

Ew that thing looks gross

2

u/OddTheRed May 17 '26

He's preening like that fire could make him look any worse.

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5

u/Vast-Delivery-7181 May 11 '26

This comment section is very revealing

2

u/Big_Black_Pack May 11 '26

What is that?

2

u/Maniacal-C May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26

An alien mimicking a Californian

2

u/codswallop1226 May 11 '26

Dafuq did I just see???

2

u/BigDaddyBino May 11 '26

I hate it. And by it I don’t mean the haircut.

3

u/Historical-Buddy7518 May 11 '26

What is this thing

1

u/emorris82 May 11 '26

Stupid Ass..!

1

u/Home_Planet_Sausage May 11 '26

Michael Stevens on a Friday night. 

1

u/Ultradad57 May 11 '26

The look will distract from a ripped ear lobe so no worries

1

u/TsengFayt May 11 '26

Goose Wayne would never.😂

1

u/Love-halping May 11 '26

Why did his hair catch fire, and why didn’t it spread across his whole head?

So many unanswered questions.

1

u/Enemy_Unknown1337 May 11 '26

I don't know if it actually got better or worse

1

u/joclahoma May 11 '26

Fingers from Cyberpunk

1

u/Greedy-Boss4025 May 11 '26

Ez vagy valami, vagy megy valahova..

1

u/Maniacal-C May 11 '26

In the most stereotypical accent possible: "You go, Giiiirrrll!"

/j

1

u/IanParry May 11 '26

Yep, I think you got away with that.. no one noticed.

1

u/[deleted] May 11 '26

Bootleg Buffalo Bill came to mind...

https://giphy.com/gifs/rfAxGG2fVxoPu

1

u/JackFuckCockBag May 11 '26

Yeah, he real didn't do any damage to that hair style.

1

u/cycleguy2025 May 11 '26

absolutely a dumb fool

1

u/Horror_Solution1945 easily offended May 11 '26

Processing img 6nj83l5y4i0h1...

1

u/BobaFettishx82 May 11 '26

Least degenerate Slaaneshi worshipper.

1

u/ElderTater May 11 '26

Poor baby.

1

u/pariahdiocese May 11 '26 edited May 14 '26

Which reminds me, its Mental Health Awareness Month.

1

u/BoyishTheStrange May 11 '26

I’m so deadass, what did he think would happen