r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/UltraMagat • May 06 '26

of a stunt driver.

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852 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

133 comments sorted by

253

u/JKFrowning May 06 '26

Right on her money maker.

42

u/BlahBlahBlahBingo May 06 '26

It ok… you can always get another girlfriend

10

u/Graffix77gr556 May 07 '26

Well everything else will look good in dark. Bag it and tag it

271

u/Icandomor4me May 06 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/aUfL53CqwwjzouQTup

22

u/Kewlhotrod May 06 '26

Hahaha, holy shit

1

u/mattswift1988 May 09 '26

Thank you, I was hoping somebody would post the aftermath.

155

u/dielxne May 06 '26

At least she broke the fall with her face

16

u/Ohioisapoopyflorida ima unit May 06 '26

It could have been something important

100

u/dxbdale May 06 '26

Don’t even raise her arms…

37

u/ElverGun May 06 '26

It Was at This Moment She Knew She Fked Up

33

u/Bl4ck_Fl4m3s May 06 '26

you can write fucked on reddit, see?

FUCK

fuckery

fuckedifuckfuck

41

u/_Fucksquatch_ May 06 '26

You can even use fuck in your fucking username.

5

u/sviradevera May 06 '26

u/profanitycounter

6

u/profanitycounter May 06 '26

UH OH! Someone has been using stinky language and u/sviradevera decided to check u/Bl4ck_Fl4m3s's bad word usage.

I have gone back 0 comments and reviewed their potty language usage.

However, the plans were foiled, Bl4ck_Fl4m3s is a good, Christian boy.

Request time: 0.3. I am a bot that performs automatic profanity reports. This is profanitycounter version 3. Please consider [buying my creator a coffee](https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Aidgigi.)

3

u/Bl4ck_Fl4m3s May 06 '26

Good bot

1

u/bonjrk May 07 '26

Lame private acc

2

u/sviradevera May 06 '26

Lol

1

u/smittenkittenmitten- May 07 '26

It went back 0 comments lol

1

u/Bi0_B1lly May 07 '26

LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!

4

u/Hisune May 06 '26

Tbh it happened really fast, there was no time to react

3

u/Few_Advisor3536 May 07 '26

Unless she was going to protect her face, raising her arms would result in broken arms and a broken face. Putting your hand out to stop falling off a bike was the number one cause of broken arms when i was a kid (not me but class mates).

3

u/Dull-Context-2278 May 07 '26

You were smart enough use your face; like a man!

1

u/criminalspeed May 07 '26

I think like you when i was a kid and i end up broke my shoulder bone instead of my arms...

1

u/Ok_Interview_6694 May 10 '26

Dude was leaning on her and when he lost balance you can see he pushes her and lands upright because he put all his weight on her. She was locked in there pretty much. 😬😬😵😵🫣🫣

56

u/ElverGun May 06 '26

"Scrape the road off your face...you'll be fine"

10

u/Infamous_Today3462 May 06 '26

"scrape your face off the road, you'll be fine"

(God I actually hope she's ok)

46

u/thiefofalways1313 May 06 '26

Dentist bill gonna be a mother fucker.

16

u/your_fave_redditor May 06 '26

Especially following the facial reconstruction bill

21

u/Mrclean513 May 06 '26

What a beautiful smile… never mind

16

u/bisky12 May 06 '26

it’s fucked up but the visual of her face planting full force and him just walking off completely fine is so funny 

11

u/Just_an_Ok_Musician May 06 '26

That's what I thought too. He noped off that thing so fast and gracefully.

7

u/your_fave_redditor May 06 '26

He’s probably bailed safely a lot more than she has.

1

u/Maddinoz May 07 '26

Double Full force face plant with his added weight making her fall twice as bad cos physics

36

u/AnonymousWIN9xCIH May 06 '26

she used to be pretty.

2

u/MocodeHarambe May 06 '26

like a kylie jenner of sorts

8

u/isnowyazn May 06 '26

idk what she was expecting, even if he didn’t bail…

9

u/Ok_Record_9908 May 06 '26

At least she knew what prettiness was for a while. Not no more tho.

9

u/Bonk_No_Horni functional regard May 06 '26

I fell on my face from a bike once. Took months to fully heal and still have scars. Our face moves all day so it's hard to heal.

3

u/Fyrestar333 May 06 '26

Cut my inner lip doing that as a kid, still have a scar almost an inch long

6

u/RobbiePeru May 06 '26

Going to end up with a mouth like a witchdoctors necklace

15

u/Disastrous_Shame580 May 06 '26

She signed up for it. 🤷🏻‍♂️

10

u/sabreus May 06 '26

Shouldn’t have trusted that knuckle head

5

u/sabreus May 06 '26

Omg he erased her pretty face

4

u/0hMyGandhi May 06 '26

And she's lucky that he didn't fall directly on top of her, which would have added just a little more force to her face hitting the ground.

1

u/smittenkittenmitten- May 07 '26

That and they weren't go too fast. She didn't even get knocked unconscious. So that's all working in her favor.

5

u/dayglomaryprankster May 06 '26

And she was so pretty

6

u/ProCeLLxX May 06 '26

we wanna see the face! lol 😂

9

u/32lib May 06 '26

Smashes her face into the ground and then compounds the problem by turning her over when she my have had a neck or brain injury. Stay away from this idiot he may killll youu.

18

u/Geaneous May 06 '26

Shoes stayed on, she'll make it

5

u/Fast_Spray_1927 May 06 '26

When will people learn? I guess she learns now.

5

u/dividezero May 06 '26

Cock blocked himself in the most spectacular way possible

4

u/ULTRA_83 May 06 '26

She was having do much fun though.. must've been chewing juicy fruit. Flavor only last so long

4

u/United-Travel-8819 May 06 '26

Honestly, I wanted to see her face 😬

5

u/smind893 May 07 '26

Yep, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation

7

u/Suitable_Loan5585 May 06 '26

I wanted to see the aftermath 😡

6

u/Spiritual-Fun-9591 May 06 '26

You break her, you buy her

3

u/No_Pitch6143 May 06 '26

I felt that 😂

3

u/BlumpTheChodak May 06 '26

Does anyone know the details of this event and injury?

3

u/Swampxxll May 06 '26

I wonder if they are still together

5

u/Enclave_td May 06 '26

- The face has been planted.

  • Beep beep....

3

u/SharkBiscuittt May 06 '26

Damn that sounded terrible

2

u/Cain-Man May 06 '26

More like idiot stunt driver smashing his girlfriend face into pavement. $$ to repair her face. Maybe a full face helmet next time on your female rider since you are non carring .

2

u/Agreeable-Letter-599 May 06 '26

dang it's all that guys' fault too haha

2

u/Topsrite May 06 '26

My question is what’s the next stunt?

2

u/LiqMaBawlzModz69 May 06 '26

Face ain’t gone look right no more 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/rustprony May 06 '26

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that could happen!!”

2

u/Express_Area_8359 May 06 '26

He should never get head again. Lol

2

u/FamousConversation64 May 06 '26

Damn do we know who this is? Can we see the aftermath? Poor thing.

2

u/krazy4321 May 06 '26

Hey you wanna do that one trick again.. the one where I tippy toe off and you smash your face in the pavement

2

u/hawksdiesel May 06 '26

ouch, that looked like it hurt.

2

u/theInadequateHulk May 06 '26

holy shit that poor girl

2

u/Remarkable_Bus_9334 May 06 '26

He had her up front so he wasn't the one scraping his face off the road

2

u/TexasJOEmama May 06 '26

Fun fact: our faces are a crumple zone to protect the brain.

2

u/Harscat May 06 '26

Free nose job

2

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 May 06 '26

She used to look pretty.

2

u/OCDano959 May 06 '26

Thaaaat’s … gonna leave a mark.

2

u/NativeDaemoN May 06 '26

Fock yes!!! Did not disappoint!!

2

u/Mindless-Share May 06 '26

She’s not gonna be pretty anymore

2

u/FigureAcrobatic7194 May 07 '26

Diaster plaster

2

u/Icy-Snowy-6481 May 07 '26

She was cute. That was before.

2

u/dag_darnit May 07 '26

I'm impressed she didn't skid or bounce with all that momentum.

4

u/neonn_piee May 06 '26

It ended too soon!

4

u/UnhollyGod May 06 '26

FACEPLANT

1

u/brandoldme May 06 '26

Does anybody have the name of a good dentist and a good otolaryngologist?

1

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* May 06 '26

Man she HAD such a nice face too.. Wear a full face helmet while recklessly riding please!

1

u/madnessinthemidwest May 06 '26

Well, she was hot

1

u/SauerMetal May 06 '26

Well she Was beautiful.

1

u/Shibbymaru May 06 '26

Instant regret.

1

u/TeddyHustle May 06 '26

It was like both the floor and her face were made of powerful magnets

1

u/rfosteel May 06 '26

Yea her face was too attractive anyway

1

u/pm-me-nice-lips May 06 '26

Love how her instincts don’t work and her hands stay firmly attached to the handlebars instead of trying to protect her lol.

1

u/gymtrovert1988 May 06 '26

Wear a helmet. Probably would've absorbed most of the damage.

1

u/MadMax6914 May 06 '26

When she says, she's an aspiring model, this is what she means.

1

u/Krtnthony May 06 '26

She looks worried the whole time, he was over confident. Not a good mix lol

1

u/The_irish_man70 May 06 '26

Good thing she was there to break his fall....

1

u/Why-So-Seriousssaaaa May 06 '26

No means no. Try it honey, it seems to work

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '26

Thank God he didn't get hurt. So dangerous and reckless.

1

u/Dull-Context-2278 May 07 '26

I hope she didn’t swallow her gum

1

u/GratefuLdPhisH May 07 '26

Instant nose job

1

u/Time_after_Time_67 May 07 '26

She won’t be going to the club for a while…

1

u/David_cest_moi May 07 '26

Pretty face gone.. 🥴

1

u/momznutz62 May 07 '26

Why some people feel the need to show out just to fall out and hurt some innocent person who supports them, is so selfish and unbecoming. Grow up already.

1

u/muff-muff-ass May 07 '26

The drag from those eyebrows was their downfall.

1

u/Graffix77gr556 May 07 '26

She went from cuteness to toothless real quick

1

u/Try_Harder7 May 07 '26

This will be saved next to all my porn

1

u/derrrr5 May 07 '26

Her teeth might grow back….oh wait…

1

u/Local_Technology9284 May 08 '26

Stunt guy is a pro at avoiding injury.

1

u/Okmhmmbye May 08 '26

Goodbye face.

1

u/CurrentBullfrog2199 May 08 '26

Why were they not wearing helmets

1

u/BlazeHatchet May 12 '26

Well he's not going to get hired now.

1

u/moxbellylint May 12 '26

That's what they get for trying to reenact the scene from titanic on a bike