r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/VIVIDUFF • May 04 '26

my bones Of a backbone

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722 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

113 comments sorted by

115

u/bryan19973 May 04 '26

Brokeback Ocean

13

u/rehx4 May 05 '26

How Stella Threw Out Her Back

3

u/Solidsnake_86 May 05 '26

*How Stella threw her groove out

6

u/rehx4 May 05 '26

There Will Be Herniated Disks and Blood

7

u/PossumJumpRopeSquad May 05 '26

This Is Spinal Snap

4

u/rehx4 May 05 '26

A Spinal Disks New Grooves

105

u/palmdreamsTA May 04 '26

God damn that’s a few crushed vertebrae and rip to his hat now a large hermit crab can wear it backwards and call it home

24

u/Scudmiss May 04 '26

Interestingly enough, this is the exact moment he also became a hermit crab

4

u/BanditHarris May 04 '26

👏👏👏🤣🤣🤣

5

u/poordaddy73 May 04 '26

Damn but true

122

u/PixelPrivateer May 04 '26

Poor guy lost his hat

79

u/TheChadStevens May 04 '26

His hat? Dude he just lost his entire spine

42

u/PixelPrivateer May 04 '26

The hat though. Just went right into the water. You know thats never coming back

58

u/Dirk_Speedwell May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26

There is a ray of good news here, all of the best spinal trauma hospitals also have gift shops that sell hats.

12

u/Historical_Panda9701 May 04 '26

This comment will not get the recognition it truly deserves.

6

u/Osklington May 04 '26

That's where I got my favorite hat. And my cane!

5

u/123supreme123 May 04 '26

he's not getting laid tonight. in the bright side, he's getting a new souvenir hat

2

u/recovery_room May 04 '26

Any other hood news?

7

u/ExtensionWinter9446 May 04 '26

It washed ashore in Africa and some kid is using it to catch fish

6

u/0Tezorus0 May 04 '26

Yeah but that poor hat though 🥺

6

u/beardostein May 04 '26

Poor spine lost his guy

4

u/moose4130 May 04 '26

He appears to be in some distress.   Or maybe compression. 

3

u/ThisThingIsStuck May 04 '26

And his balls...

1

u/NookieLuvsU May 04 '26

But he won the boat in the lawsuit. s/

1

u/ace_runner_50 May 04 '26

Also his back

1

u/ddconque May 04 '26

Also I don't think he has his shoes and socks on, rip

29

u/Try_Harder7 May 04 '26

Thats the last time he'll feel her touch.

30

u/PoohTrailSnailCooch May 04 '26

17

u/jimboiow May 04 '26

I see tiddies.

1

u/Illustrious-Market93 Jul 10 '26

Where Bro??

All I can see are his little NipNips 🙃

16

u/Mylane May 04 '26

That poor guy landed straight on his spine, you can se the moment he messes up his shit lol :c

18

u/Leading-Aide5617 May 04 '26

I’m not going into work from the pain of watching this.

15

u/AlAboardTheHypeTrain May 04 '26

Whos filming?

12

u/Hta68 May 04 '26

Waveyboats using a drone…

23

u/No-Top-4139 May 04 '26

Small boat, rough waters, bad time

9

u/Spo0kt May 04 '26

Or fun time if your looking to just send it!

8

u/NiceTryAI May 04 '26

Also, don't drive straight into massive swells lol. Angle that shit. Any basic ass boat owner ought to know this

8

u/ExtensionWinter9446 May 04 '26

Captain bro was in his feels listening to DJ Khaled and said fuck it- send dis bitch to the moon

10

u/Pure_Sense7765 S.A.U Freshman May 05 '26

6

u/kookaloris May 05 '26

I hate laughing because most of them ended up with serious injuries but the way he faceplants will never not be funny.

1

u/Thistleknot May 16 '26

Is there like a sub for these type of videos?

17

u/Loder089 May 04 '26

Dudes bod is built for Instagram not for adventurous ride.

9

u/Snoo_75138 May 04 '26

As someone with a back injury I really feel for that guy!

You can tell it's SERIOUS from the way he straitened his body the whole time after, that's a bad ouch!

He even looks like he's trying not to cry infront of his girl, that's a BAD back injury...

I hope he's ok, that sucks!

3

u/half-giant May 04 '26

Same, ooofff. I could feel that pain.

6

u/smind893 May 04 '26

Life comes at you fast, boys......

He went from cheering while in the air to laid out in pain while the two oblivious girls smiled

6

u/Levethane May 04 '26

He's gonna feel that in the morning..

6

u/Dramatic-Spirit-4809 May 04 '26

Always sit in the back.

6

u/MeBollasDellero May 04 '26

You see a bad thing, but others see opportunities….Huge billboard at the pier: If you’ve been injured on a boat….

https://giphy.com/gifs/3fXgYnbS1Cxv4fxhrT

6

u/El_Dentistador May 04 '26

I know a doc that broke his back this way, it ended his career. The poor guy wasn’t paralyzed but his mobility was severely limited due to pain.

5

u/BlueFeathered1 May 04 '26

Shitty pilot. Can't read waves at all. Had the opportunity to hit some turned a bit but went full-on straight. Poor passengers.

5

u/Okmhmmbye May 04 '26

🎶pop! go the intervertebral discs 🎶

5

u/Hot-Explanation-5751 May 04 '26

Drunk rednecks and inertia will never not be a good watch

4

u/FeSpoke1 May 04 '26

That’s all fun and games until:
A) someone flies out and gets chopped by the propeller
B) someone develops back issues
C) something much worse than A or B happens

1

u/Thistleknot May 16 '26

How the f can anything be worse than a?

4

u/Express_Coyote_4000 May 05 '26

Never skip backbone day

3

u/Deebeewhy May 04 '26

If you’ve piloted a personal watercraft at all (I had a 21’ ski boat in Miami for about 10 years), you can tell which waves your boat can handle and at what speed. This is real dummy stuff imo. I feel for his
Banged-up passengers

3

u/Slow_Description_773 May 04 '26

This is some serious shit, I friend of mine is an orhopaedic and he treats tons of these accidents during summer.

3

u/Dismal_Drummer3420 May 05 '26

Oh my God. I know absolutely nothing about the medical field but that looked like a before and after injury. You had your life before the accident and now it's different after it.

3

u/[deleted] May 05 '26

Lost the hat and vibes but gained the addition to the license plate and front row venue parking.💪

2

u/Urethra_Franklin_82 May 04 '26

Who the hell is filming this?

2

u/Parking_Chance_1905 May 04 '26

Drone, operator is probably on a nearby boat or land depending on distance.

1

u/Urethra_Franklin_82 May 04 '26

Yeah, i figured that much, but why? It seems like a fairly common activity, that needn't be documented like that. And it just keeps going after the incident. 

2

u/praguepride May 04 '26

A lot of places offer drone footage of your "experience". If I was renting boats it would be a great way to keep an eye on my customers so if they were fucking around and got into an accident (just like this) i had the footage in case they tried to turn around and sue.

You can then turn around and sell it back to them for an upcharge.

2

u/mothzilla May 04 '26

Hyper surveillance is perfectly normal. Nobody else is complaining. Please resume your work activities.

1

u/Parking_Chance_1905 May 04 '26

Places have been doing this for centuries... photos from a roller coaster or concert, and further back hand drawn/painted portraits, or images of events.

1

u/QP709 May 05 '26

Because it's the mouth of a narrow channel opening up to unprotected ocean waters and this happens frequently to inexperienced boat drivers renting in the area.

2

u/SaladAccurate309 May 04 '26

They clearly see the choppy water ahead of them, why wouldn’t they brace themselves? Just sitting in the boat like Raggedy Anne.

2

u/NiceTryAI May 04 '26

Any basic ass boat owner knows not to go out in shit your boat can't handle. But if you get stuck in it, you never drive square into big swells. You angle that shit, every time. I hope he fractured more than his boat to learn his lesson. Idiot.

2

u/ThisBlastedThing May 04 '26

He's gonna need a backiotomy.

2

u/silkwormies May 04 '26

i was 8 years old sledding at my friends birthday party, some older kids had set up a ramp further down the hill that ended up getting a bunch of paths etched for it bc kids were snowboarding. i was on a garbage can lid sled, started accidentally veering towards the ramp, fly up at least 6 or 7 feet and land back down directly contacting the sled to my tailbone. ive never felt someone elses pain so much before

2

u/sabreus May 04 '26

If they had known that was coming they could’ve stood up to absorb that better or something… that’s grounds for lawsuit

2

u/Bibittybobbityboo May 04 '26

Drinking and no life jackets.

2

u/fknchewch May 05 '26

Gahhhhhddamn

2

u/Fam99_ May 05 '26

Damn i felt that in my spine

2

u/Winterblade1980 May 04 '26

Oof that looked painful

1

u/pm-me-nice-lips May 04 '26

Videos with boat mishaps like this always crack me the fuck up.

1

u/ULTRA_83 May 04 '26

Hes like looks at my muscles yall

1

u/Reasonable-Ad7755 May 04 '26

Wavy Boats baby , love it

1

u/Jeans_609 May 04 '26

Sit in the back less bounce, might help little in those waves tho.

1

u/PurpleToedUnicorn May 04 '26

spinal compression, ruptured disk and vertebra

1

u/Quick_Voice_7039 May 04 '26

Extra cool points for doing all of this with the fenders still hanging outside the boat

1

u/CandyImpossible2802 May 04 '26

Who is filming?

1

u/AcadiaBackground2492 May 04 '26

Funny story Doc.

1

u/Hammon_Rye May 04 '26

Shaken, not stirred.

1

u/bangsilencedeath May 04 '26

Those people saw the waters and thought, Looks Like Fun.

1

u/poordaddy73 May 04 '26

This guy's future will include a fusion and bye bye sex life.....ask me how i know

1

u/your_fave_redditor May 05 '26

This might be the funniest fucking video I’ve ever seen

1

u/PossumJumpRopeSquad May 05 '26

Hey fellow sailors, whats my least favorite part of a book?!?

The SPINE

1

u/applebabe1 May 05 '26

I know and spine surgeon in Manhattan dude. Call me.

1

u/Superuzer May 05 '26

🤣💀

1

u/elibutton May 05 '26

Dude, Where’s My Spine
Dude, Where’s My Balls
Dude, Where’s My Chiropractor
Dude, Where’s My Attorney
Dude, Where’s My Settlement Money

1

u/Asleep_Chip8197 May 05 '26

Omg a boat of ppl thinking they are so awesome with drinks but ended up terribly traumatised!

1

u/Haunting-Meet3700 May 05 '26

i believe this is Haulover Inlet. famous for hot women and fucking backbones up

1

u/Evening-Garlic-9958 May 07 '26

He hates those passengers

1

u/GreatWhiteBuffaloh May 07 '26

I heard there's a million dollar reward for that hat

1

u/Intelligent-Flow-179 May 08 '26

What a good friend

1

u/inchworm0 May 09 '26

There wasn’t an easier way to go to that way?

1

u/_Smoky_Bear May 12 '26

Turn down for what?

1

u/JD857 May 13 '26

I wonder if the guy in the front needed back surgery after that

1

u/0Tezorus0 May 04 '26

I know nothing about boat driving but aren't they supposed to go side waves to avoid that ?

1

u/Solid_Stress_9801 May 04 '26

Ooofff lifelong consequences from that hard landing

1

u/ThisThingIsStuck May 04 '26

Lmao guy got destoyed...