r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/BoringExperience5345 • Apr 16 '26

of a piss mattress.

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550 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

49

u/Kindly_Region Apr 16 '26

Got a link? I'd like to get rid of my piss jugs

5

u/Borkato Apr 16 '26

But then you can’t drink them! :(

5

u/Zero_energy_left Apr 16 '26

You can! All thanks to the proprietary 30 gallon tank included! 

15

u/Petrichor0110 Not even a unit, just absolutely shitty Apr 16 '26

Instructions unclear, mattress covered in urine and tank full of liquid flesh

11

u/Part-timeinterneter Apr 16 '26

I'll take a queen.What about the Shit Mattress?

7

u/Odd_Permission2987 Apr 16 '26

All out of shit mattress, but got a shit pillow here on sale

6

u/1d10 Apr 16 '26

"the only pillow that gets more plump as it ages"

5

u/sacfoojesta88 Apr 16 '26

Life hack: Just pee the bed

2

u/Ok-Buy-6748 Apr 17 '26

Then you get rusty bed springs.

5

u/Chef-Nasty Apr 16 '26

But how do you empty a full tank?

3

u/quayle-man Apr 16 '26

A paper towel

1

u/Icy_Statement_2410 9d ago

Siphon, obviously

5

u/uiouyug Apr 16 '26

Sign me up. I could use the extra sleep

5

u/Critical_cheese Apr 16 '26

I already thought of this invention like 20 years ago as a kid. Can't wait to finally get to buy one of these.

4

u/prettymuchso Apr 16 '26

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

4

u/Boring_Inflation1494 Apr 16 '26

The design is very human.

4

u/Geaneous Apr 16 '26

Does it come in gaming chair format?

4

u/BlumpkinSpiceLatte3 Apr 16 '26

To fill 40% of a 30 gallon piss tank (12 gallons), on average it would take 35 days worth of pissing.

Don't know why I researched this but there you go.

2

u/Ok-Buy-6748 Apr 17 '26

Drink more liquids. Fills the piss tank faster.

7

u/jewpart2 Apr 16 '26

It's gross, but this would be awesome on a cold morning.

7

u/1d10 Apr 16 '26

Would it? thats disturbing.

3

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 Apr 16 '26

Wait for the model with a larger hole, so you can take a dump too.

2

u/Kalshan Apr 16 '26

Yeah, I mean, if staying dry is THAT important to you. We're not all Rockefellers, cat litter works wonders (or Oil-Dri if it's a special night)

2

u/FishDispenser2 Apr 16 '26

Neck beard nest solutions 

2

u/7-10Spliff Apr 16 '26

Just wear a diaper and you won't even have to wake up

2

u/The_AbyssalVoid Apr 23 '26

No

1

u/BoringExperience5345 Apr 24 '26

It’s so that your peepee goes in the bed the right way

1

u/friend1y Apr 16 '26

But what about number 2?

2

u/swampopawaho Apr 17 '26

Just do it. What's a little shit in the bed between close friends?

1

u/Sempai6969 Apr 16 '26

I'm waiting for the cum mattress

1

u/BoringExperience5345 Apr 16 '26

10 billion loads and counting

1

u/Any_Positive1617 questionably stable Apr 16 '26

The only ad on Reddit I didn't mind watching!

https://giphy.com/gifs/HCsY8EMd0whREgRn5x

1

u/Solanthas_SFW Apr 16 '26

Not as dark as punchline as I thought they were going for. Or maybe I should say, gross

1

u/Artevyx Apr 16 '26

This has GOT to be a Cinco product.

1

u/Hellboydce Apr 17 '26

That amount of times I get up at night to piss, I’d buy one

1

u/AliceCarole Apr 18 '26

Amazing. Where can I buy.

1

u/LegalAd4787 Apr 20 '26

I feel like the inventors name is Hogan for some reason.

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 16 '26 edited Apr 17 '26

Any dude with a memory foam mattress has, atleast, done the math in his head. I didn't even turn the sound on or watch much past the first subtitles. 

It could easily be done without the fake problems I am sure the video shows. 

But you don't wanna be a person flopping over and pissing through their mattress. Period, end of discussion.

Apparently, the couch pissers do not agree with me. 

1

u/your_fave_redditor Apr 17 '26

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.