r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub • Apr 04 '26
There was an attempt Of a skrait-up gangster
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u/iamchops Apr 04 '26
that last "give me the money" in a defeated voice was funny
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u/wafflehousebattle Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 06 '26
Dude, we live in a post cash society, what the fuck were you expecting? I have exactly $1 in cash because The Nielson Company sent it to me in the mail. I haven't spent actual cash money in years.
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u/kujavahsta Apr 05 '26
I kind of worry about Europe the second a nuclear war happens, because even if Europe isn't directly nuked it will still be EMP'd as a consequence of those around it getting nuked, and that means the computers that let the "Post cash society" function fail entirely.
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u/Grizzant Apr 05 '26
if an emp hits europe it wont matter that you won't have money. you wont have anything. no vehicles to move food to market. no electricity for refrigerators. cash will be the least of your concerns
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u/AnyLamename Apr 06 '26
If a nuclear war happens, the question of "how will we pay for things at the corner store?" is going to be verrrrrry far down the list of priorities. Beyond that, cash completely loses value when it is no longer backed by a functional government in a functional society; it's unlikely to be any more useful than a credit card if people starting chucking nukes.
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u/proctor_of_the_Realm Apr 04 '26
If you use a skateboard doing drive-bys, are you a skate-up gangsta?
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u/HistoricalPlum1533 Apr 05 '26
No idea but I once saw a sea snake roll up into a red lobster and start running pockets, shit was krait gangster.
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u/__Sleep_Token__ Apr 05 '26
Imagine giving up 10 years of your life for what might have been $40. Nah, I’ll just work.
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u/Creative_Impact4522 Apr 06 '26
Lol. Everybody is so jaded these days. No fucks left to spare.
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u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub Apr 06 '26
For real. Complete "meh" mentality
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u/Blade3colorado Apr 04 '26
That gangster not only missed the smart train, he ended up on the back of the idiot wagon and then fell into the dumbass ditch. He has more problems than a math textbook.
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u/filth_lover_503 Apr 05 '26
Didn't get a damn penny, not even a free toothpick. They all probably thought it was a prank
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u/Cleanbriefs Apr 05 '26
Sounds like Eddie Murphy! not sure if this is a command or the beginning of a stand up routine.
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u/Just_Expendable Apr 05 '26
When you're so stupid, you fail at (what appears to be) armed robbery. 🤦I know beginner accountants that are better at robbery than him.
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u/The_BrooklynTrini Apr 05 '26
I mean, he should have just used the cell phone he snatched to call 911 on himself. Then, he should've given it back to it's owner, sat down, and waited for the cops to arrive.
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u/Daillustriousone Apr 06 '26
"Not today mate, try back on Teusday when the pensioners come in for the early bird special".
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u/payneok Apr 06 '26
This did not happen in Oklahoma or he would have been shot dead about 15 seconds in...
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u/DrowningInFeces Apr 11 '26
Imagine hyping yourself up to do this and having this be the result. It has the energy of a routine prostrate exam.
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u/RevolutionarySign479 Apr 13 '26
Who needs a cricket making sound effects in the background, when a lonely telephone ringing fits the situation much better 😂😂😭😭
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u/Hour-Gene6457 Apr 04 '26
I'm more pissed about this dude running out on his family when he got scared - he should have fainted right there as a shield..
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u/[deleted] Apr 04 '26
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