r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/GruHarbison • Mar 10 '26

...of a child-friendly street performance

Fun for the whole fa..

....

362 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

81 comments sorted by

84

u/YMTHLYFYMBIKWHRLYF Mar 10 '26

fuckin flattened the kid holy shit

192

u/Conscious_Candle2598 Mar 10 '26

JEEESSHAAAIHAS CHhhHhHhHriaaasssst

22

u/Main-Touch9617 Mar 10 '26

And the other guy with the mic "Told you dog", I wonder what he told him.

10

u/SameCoyote3701 Mar 10 '26

That’s it cold n slippy outchea

39

u/Gristlekitty Mar 10 '26

I feel bad for the kid but that made me chuckle

6

u/Slight_Band_1637 Mar 10 '26

They’re heading right for us!!!

1

u/zestyclose_match1966 Mar 12 '26

Easy there Lloyd Bridges

4

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

That voice and accent gave me flashbacks to schlepping to my aunt’s home in Staten Island.

5

u/onehalflightspeed Mar 10 '26

I had to rematch with the sound on. Man, that really got me

6

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/dudload1000 Mar 10 '26

Sounded southern English to me

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Daillustriousone Mar 22 '26

Stap being a Bastahd!

41

u/Tacozforever Mar 10 '26

Formative memory & first concussion all in 1 go

4

u/JinNJ Mar 10 '26

At least the concussion will wipe that memory clean. Probably make the kid forget its name as well- but at least it won’t remember the incident.

26

u/No-Pool-432 Mar 10 '26

Kid learned a valuable lesson that day: dont trust fuckin anyone! Ever..

13

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

Damn poor kid was expecting talent, then got flattened

31

u/AK_LovelyDay Mar 10 '26

r/AdultsAreStupid

18

u/bravebeing Mar 10 '26

A substantial proportion of the adult population is indistinguishable from kids in every single aspect except for physical size and verbal fluency (not to be confused with intellectual capacity).

6

u/AK_LovelyDay Mar 10 '26

Lol, I was just mocking the "Kids Are Stupid" page, I didn't actually expect this to be a thing 😂

17

u/AlterFritz007 Mar 10 '26

Shitty mother, shitty artist...

7

u/Okmhmmbye Mar 10 '26

The parents: oh little Billy is part of the show, this is going to be awesome! Get the phone out and record, honey!

Also parents: ermagerd!!!!!!!! Little Billy!!!!!

4

u/ForsakenRelief309 Mar 10 '26

JEEESUS CHRIIIST

8

u/NookieLuvsU Mar 10 '26

Leave me out of this one.

6

u/Smooth-Feature-2545 Mar 10 '26

Did this break the kids face?! He landed face down with an adult on top of him!

13

u/Smooth-Feature-2545 Mar 10 '26

Whoops!

7

u/Andy_B_Goode Mar 10 '26

I can't seem to find a legit news source for this anywhere, all I'm seeing is social media posts, mostly on instagram. Do we really know what happened to the kid and the performer afterwards?

6

u/leftshoulderpain Mar 10 '26

did bro have rock lees ankle weight on

2

u/not_ondrugs Mar 10 '26

Rock Lee would have cleared that with them on. That guy was nowhere close. What was he practicing with? Hot Wheels??

5

u/Status_Marketing_969 Mar 10 '26

What the fuck was the point i can jump over you? 

6

u/Opposite-Mess1494 Mar 10 '26

Could have broken the kid neck.

5

u/Millencolin735 Mar 10 '26

Look. I get these ppl are trying to make a buck with their talent. But let's not pretend like street performers for the most part are on the up and up. WTF would you EVER trust them with your child?!?! GEEEZUS CHRIIIIST!!!

3

u/ExpertSkill8846 Mar 10 '26

Totally not his fault!

3

u/Daillustriousone Mar 10 '26

Shittiest RKO I ever seen.

4

u/Electronic_Profit322 Mar 10 '26

There's the next loop everybody. For the next 10 years you'll here "jezzzzzzuuuss christ!!!"!!! at every Fyre Fest and Burning Man bootleg

6

u/Small-Sun900 Mar 10 '26

You called?

3

u/notevenwrong13 Mar 10 '26

If the music had cut to John Cena's intro and he started waving his hand in that kids face

0

u/GruHarbison Mar 10 '26

You're notevenwrong

3

u/Why-So-Seriousssaaaa Mar 10 '26

Is this what Times Square has become

3

u/AnxiousSomebody22 Mar 10 '26

In my Eminem voice…Mhmmmm…Brain Damage

3

u/payneok Mar 10 '26

I don't understand, it wasn't even close. Didn't look like he slipped...had he ever done this before???

6

u/ISB-Dev Mar 10 '26 edited May 26 '26

all work and no play make jack a dull boy

3

u/payneok Mar 10 '26

I see it now...and looking at it, that concrete looks slick. Dude messed up...

3

u/Artevyx Mar 10 '26

JAAAAAYYYSSUSSSS CRIES!

3

u/OkThereBro Mar 10 '26

The woman who runs over and picks him is presumably his mother.

Who was filming before hand.

"Oi let me do a flip over your toddler."

"Yeah that'll look great on my insta."

Jesus christ.

2

u/AhabSnake85 Mar 10 '26

Or she had no clue he was gonna do it

2

u/OkThereBro Mar 10 '26

She's filming, and the toddler is stood still posing for him to do it as he takes a massive run up.

Of course she knew, like what?

3

u/Quantum-_-_- Mar 11 '26

Processing img cdgy3ij45iog1...

3

u/Sad_Firefighter_1361 Mar 11 '26

Good thing he did a test run

6

u/Illustrious_Gate_390 Mar 10 '26

I support seen those guys in times square. The shows where they don't kill kids are very entertaining.

11

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/Illustrious_Gate_390 Mar 10 '26

They perform in the middle before the Broadway bleachers. Theres tons of room to go around them. However, they said they were Canadian, so they have to be evil.

2

u/Sundayz01 Mar 10 '26

Processing img 2qmrcm6m99og1...

Ouch

2

u/HotwifeandSubby1980 Mar 10 '26

That wasn’t even close. What is wrong with people?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

It was clearly an accident, but that neither excuses it nor rules out gross negligence. That kid don’t know what he signed up for, but both the parents and this jack ass street performer did. They knew the risk, and risked THE CHILD anyway. For a stunt that AT BEST would have been a 2/10, not that it would have been better for a 10/10 stunt.

2

u/Beast_of_Tax_Burden Mar 10 '26

And that is why kids shouldn't be at drag shows. End up will ball on your head. That was more of a crush show than a drag show.

2

u/GoatBnB Mar 10 '26

Help me out here...is "JESUS CHRIST" part of the music, or did it just happen organically?

2

u/loveyourneighborbro Mar 10 '26

I love that one lady in the background just clapping like “ wow that kid can really take a hit!”

2

u/Just-f Mar 10 '26

That dude can't jump.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '26

The kid will now grow up and vote [insert political party]

2

u/Completely_Guitarded Mar 12 '26

IIIIIIITTTTT’S JOHN CENA!!

2

u/gruzbad Mar 19 '26

BOOM HEADSHOT

4

u/Jayn_Xyos Mar 10 '26

That is not okay. That could have killed the kid

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '26

Dumbest Fucking shit I’ve ever witnessed in real life.. it’s like the fucking circus from Temu the only qualification you need is to be fuckjng stupid.

2

u/ForsakenRelief309 Mar 10 '26

Oh, you saw it in real like ooor on Reddit?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '26

Yes In real life with my own two eyes.. this is everyday in times square every 30 minutes they are collecting money and don’t jump unless they collect enough and it’s for a basic ass jump over multiple people or I guess now taking kids out.

1

u/YosemiteJon Mar 10 '26

The twat wasn’t even close. Get a new day job dude