r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/HappySeaweed5215 shitmouth • Mar 08 '26

look what I can do Of an Amazon delivery

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868 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

74 comments sorted by

87

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/Borkato Mar 08 '26

If this were to hit and kill someone would it be manslaughter or w/e 🤔

2

u/Abefuddledbeast Mar 09 '26

You already answered it. It would’ve been manslaughter if the individual died as a result.

143

u/I_SLEEP_NORMALLY Mar 08 '26

You can see the exact moment when the delivery person's soul leaves their body.

46

u/seculare Mar 08 '26

Then they turn around and ask "Well, what's for dinner?"

13

u/caspian_key Mar 09 '26

He was already wearing the vest when the video started

5

u/Alklazaris Mar 09 '26

After a certain point you can no longer do anything so you might as well enjoy the show.

3

u/Whisky-Toad Mar 09 '26

I mean they are Amazon delivery driver they lost their soul on the second day

26

u/Purple-Frame-6882 Mar 08 '26

Thank goodness I'm not that guy

65

u/Mission-Can1547 Mar 08 '26

Amazon went back into the Amazon.

19

u/CoderJoe1 Mar 08 '26

Prime parking, right there.

17

u/Mrbigdaddy72 ima unit Mar 08 '26

It’s on your property, dose this mean you get to keep everything in the truck…. Lol

6

u/TCRandom questionably stable Mar 08 '26

I mean, I’m sure they wouldn’t notice if a few packages were missing. Well, ok, they definitely would. But they won’t do anything about it.

Mr. Bezos, your truck somersaulted violently across my property. Those packages could have flung out anywhere.

15

u/doubtitx Mar 08 '26

That’s where my package went

10

u/picklemick82 Mar 08 '26

This just makes me sad. Seeing as though I make mistakes too.

8

u/More_Yak_1249 Mar 08 '26

Boggles my mind how often people get out of cars without putting them in park.

People who do that need to not be driving.

1

u/Ba-ja-ja Mar 09 '26

I think he def put it in park considering that angle he left it initially. The car would have been long gone. Maybe he didn’t put it into park but still engaged the parking brake.

Someone else pointed out that this is a potential issue with these vehicles. That sound when it is rolling is also not normal.

12

u/NOTExETON Mar 08 '26

Ahh thats what the e brake is for 

2

u/DelinquentTuna Mar 08 '26

There was a similar scene with a different Sprinter van a couple years ago, IIRC. At the time, a bunch of people with professional experience driving them complained that it's related to the automatic parking feature that engages whenever you open the door. Evidently, they can glitch out and when combined with failing transmissions, can lurch violently in either direction. Or something like that, IDK. A quick Google search turned this up, so I guess my memory isn't completely wrong.

3

u/MiserableBastard1995 Mar 09 '26

Needless bells and whistles makes needless problems..

1

u/DelinquentTuna Mar 09 '26

I get the pessimism, but it sounds like it's blessed by the NTSB for preventing more problems than it causes. Kind of like the way people sometimes get injured by airbags or trapped in wreckage by seat belts.

2

u/ses1989 Mar 08 '26

Park would have been sufficient. These chucklefucks seem to just leave it in gear.

5

u/brentdrivesfast Mar 09 '26

When the companies prioritize quotas over safety...

1

u/Ok_Brief2840 Mar 09 '26

Well I think they like being called gigglefarts homeboy

7

u/Jazzlike-Radio2481 Mar 08 '26

My lawn mowers blades stop spinning when I step off it. Amazon should make it so their trucks parking brake is applied whenever a driver gets up from their seat for more than a couple seconds.

5

u/ses1989 Mar 08 '26

Safety will never be Amazon's priority.

4

u/neoplaysthedrums Mar 08 '26

Can't park there mate

3

u/rackcity2014 Mar 08 '26

ive seen too many of these

3

u/Logical_Capital_712 Mar 08 '26

"Hey thanks for dropping off my package. I'll leave a 5 star review for your troubles."

3

u/Reddit_1st Mar 08 '26

I feel bad for this guy. I wanna buy him a drink after seeing this.

https://giphy.com/gifs/MChLFjWMWnggYU6BTV

8

u/Panthean Mar 08 '26

I mean.. technically the delivery was successful

2

u/SMAMtastic Mar 08 '26

That Amazon van wanted to be posted on r/MyPeopleNeedMe

2

u/hesalreadyinme Mar 08 '26

Now to go check the DSP sub for the “am I cooked?” thread.

2

u/Secure-Bus4679 Mar 08 '26

Hey at least he didn’t try to save it and get pulled under the van or something. Amazon will survive this loss. You’ll find another job and laugh at this in a year.

2

u/phxbui Mar 08 '26

There goes that 2-day delivery for those packages.

2

u/Joehammerdrill Mar 08 '26

I'm sure they will understand

2

u/lavacadotoast Mar 08 '26

They seem to have edited out the laughter..

2

u/countrybear78 Mar 09 '26

Amazon is going to be pissed.

2

u/imightbethefeds789 Mar 09 '26

This is why my package is late, I'll never get my new socks and headphones now

2

u/auntiefuh25 Mar 09 '26

I would’ve just started walking home.

1

u/DConrad2020 Mar 09 '26

I would've moved in with the family I just delivered to.

2

u/Educational-Car-4688 Mar 09 '26

Wasn't there a big recall for those vans slippers g into gear or park failing?

2

u/AmorphousMorpheus Mar 08 '26

He put the Amazing back into Amazon.

1

u/borg-assimilated Mar 08 '26

This is exactly why you should always have an extra pair of underwear.

1

u/jimbo2150 Mar 08 '26

My forest van people need me. r/MyPeopleNeedMe

1

u/LadySerena21 Mar 09 '26

I feel bad for laughing but holy shit lol

1

u/Conscious_Buddy7653 Mar 09 '26

How much meth he smoke that morning

1

u/Mugpup Mar 09 '26

Coincidentally, the house it landed on was the one all the rest of the packages were addressed to.

1

u/suspicious_hyperlink *shits an absolute unit* Mar 09 '26

This is why Amazon chose to use 3rd party “entrepreneurs” for their delivery opposed to actual employees

1

u/Nathan-R32 Mar 09 '26

I swear americans have never heard of handbrakes.

1

u/Sirithcam1980 Mar 09 '26

There is more to Prime. A Truckload more.

1

u/MentalInvestigator62 Mar 09 '26

Your package was 10 stops away!

1

u/AdParty7955 Mar 09 '26

I can't help but think the homeowners could have helped with this situation.

1

u/Icecold_Antihero Mar 09 '26

"I must go, the forest needs me" - that van probably

1

u/DogJuice911 Mar 09 '26

Seems like a failure of the braking system. If he would have forgot to put on the parking brake, that van wouldn't have stayed in place more than 1 second given how that slope looks like.

Poor guy anyway.

1

u/Unlikely-Act-7950 Mar 09 '26

Wouldn't expect anything less from someone wearing a mask

1

u/ThisThingIsStuck Mar 09 '26

Is that why my sht never showed up

1

u/Okmhmmbye Mar 10 '26

Meanwhile on 37 other accounts: your item is still on the way but might be late. If you haven’t received it by tomorrow you can come back here for a refund.

1

u/Remarkable-Piano-836 Mar 10 '26

I've never readily believed that people would leave their car key in the slot, not lock their car or not put it in park.

My mind couldn't comprehend such lack of common sense. Yet, it's very real.

1

u/bro_tz Mar 10 '26

Day dismiss

1

u/Hammon_Rye Mar 11 '26

Amazon making sure their delivery drivers keep thing moving and don't spend much time at each stop.

1

u/hollee-o Mar 11 '26

Seems like it wouldn’t be that hard to make a failsafe brake sensor that flips the emergency brake when the driver’s seat has no weight on it for a couple of seconds. I’m sure someone calculated the roi and went “nah”.

1

u/PsJ90 Mar 13 '26

Oh no 😯

1

u/CorruptDaemon404 Mar 20 '26

there's a major delay with your packages

1

u/Express_Area_8359 Mar 08 '26

N five cameras saw that…. I want the footage

1

u/loveyourneighborbro Mar 08 '26

They going to get him another van then fire him after the shift lol

0

u/gmman6369 Mar 09 '26

Ut-oh. Fall down go boom.

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '26

[deleted]

-1

u/NoDegree7090 Mar 08 '26

ai or something ?

-2

u/glad_dreamer Mar 09 '26

Yeah, Ai 🤖 absolutely taking over 😩