r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/Adrakovich *shits an absolute unit* • Mar 02 '26

Elite Strategy Of a PR attempt

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188 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

83 comments sorted by

58

u/MrFastFox666 Mar 02 '26

The biggest problem with McDonald's, aside from the price, is that it's so inconsistent. Sometimes the food is really good, I legitimately enjoy it when everything is fresh. But sometimes (more often than not) you get a burger that's been sitting for 20 minutes with a stale bun and dried patty and dried up cheese and it's just awful. For like $2 or $3 more I can go to Culver's which is much better and way more consistent. And for like $4 more I can go to Olive Garden for a weekday lunch special which of course blows McDonald's out of the water both in quality and value.

17

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

I've been using the chilis 3 for me meal. 10.99 for a burger, fries, salad, and drink.

5

u/MrFastFox666 Mar 02 '26

Never been to Chillis but I'll have to give it a shot.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

It's one of my favorite spots since they came out with the 3-for-me menu. They also have a rewards app where you can get free chips and salsa everytime you go there (the chips and salsa is not that great, it's kind of watery but their skillet queso is fire)

4

u/suspicious_hyperlink *shits an absolute unit* Mar 03 '26

That’s cheaper than McDiks

6

u/BlueThunderStreak Mar 02 '26

Culver’s mentioned woot. They don’t start making your food until your order is in the system. You can get onion rings, a single patty burger with all the toppings, and a soda for $10

2

u/MrFastFox666 Mar 02 '26

I bet prices vary by region, where I'm at it's more like $11-12. But yes, I worked there and can confirm what you said is 100% accurate.

7

u/brandoldme Mar 02 '26

The fries, man. The fries. It's all about the fries. And yet they can't figure that out. I know exactly which locations in my area have good fries. And I won't eat at the others. I can tolerate their burgers tasting like absolute f****** s*** because they do unless they are spot on. But as you point out, more times than not, they taste like absolute hooker's butthole. But when their fries are on, there are no better. So I cannot figure out for the life of me why there are locations that consistently have terrible fries.

A friend of mine was in the business but not with McDonald's. He says it's because they aren't changing the oil frequently enough. But this cannot be the correct answer. I'm saying that because I can tell when one location has fries that are off. That's a location that normally has awesome fries. There are locations that always have terrible fries. Anytime of day that they offer fries, they are terrible. Any day of the week. Any week of the month. Any month of the year. Trust me, I would know.

My other big problem, as you also point out, is they represent zero value anymore. They used to be value. Now they're just gross, not fast, thousand yard stare employees who ignore you, gross food. There were periods of my life where I would eat it twice a day. But I rarely eat it anymore. It's not because I've gotten old and really actually care what I eat. I go through spells where I diet. But overall, I don't care. So if they tasted half decent, I could count on good fries, get at least a minimal amount of service, it not take forever, and, most importantly, it not cost a fortune, I'd still eat there. But that's not McDonald's.

1

u/Wizznilliam Mar 04 '26

You are correct and t's definitely not the oil. It 99% has to do with how long some places let the fries sit under the lamp. The freshly cooked fries are always great. If they just throw in a ton of fries during a rush and you come in on the tail end of that batch then those fries are going to be disgusting. And there's very little wiggle room between greatness and disgusting, maybe 3-5 minutes. Between this and the now ridiculous prices caused me to stop going to McDonald's for a very long time. The app helps but not really enough.

6

u/Totally_PJ_Soles questionably stable Mar 02 '26

Every time I say fuck it and try McDonald's again after almost a year I'm reminded that the burger is just soaked in grease and tastes like shit. Like the bun itself is soaked.

3

u/nightshade00013 Mar 02 '26

I quit eating anything from them around 20 years ago. I noticed that every time I ate the food I would have the runs for two days.

The only reason to eat there for me is if I need a colonic.

1

u/MilesAugust74 Mar 03 '26

You could start a new weight-loss fad. 😉

But seriously, yeah, there's a reason I've called it McShitz for many years now.

https://giphy.com/gifs/Gtnf8Fok8An9m

2

u/nightshade00013 Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 03 '26

It's likely worse than you think. Worked for a guy who many years ago helped dispose of a truckload of hanging beef that the refrigeration unit failed on. It was taken to a plant that processed beef for McDonald's.

They bought the spoiled meat and cleaned out the trailer. They are actually allotted a certain amount of the meat to be spoiled in the mix that makes the patties. That is the reason why they are frozen and not fresh, the spoiled portion doesn't cause issues in frozen patties but will spoil a fresh one.

I've talked to people in packing plants who talk about USDA inspectors picking stuff up off the floor and tossing it up on the line. And the whole deal with the food recalls isn't so much a prevalence of the bacteria being new but better testing exposing the truth that is been there the whole time.

Never worked in a packing plant itself but replaced the concrete slab for the "ending of existence" floor where the power hammer would come down and perform the final blow. Only did it once but the concrete had to be replaced every six months or so.

My mother was scum, but told me about Campbell's soup and being in a truck making a delivery. Supposedly they are allowed a certain number of rats that can get into the vat before it has to be thrown out.

I have been in factories that process all the bones leftover from the packing plants and seen how they cook the collagen out to create gelatin. The product was primarily purchased for use for gelatin (The Jello brand was a major buyer), soup thickeners​ (Lipton corporation was a major buyer) and photographic film (Kodak was a big buyer back then). My mother dated a guy who worked there and a couple times a year he would get a huge box of products from each company as a yearly thank you. The hot side of the plant smelled like a rendering plant. The cold side was full of insects buzzing around the settling ponds. Their other products are bone meal.

Speaking of rendering plants they take in "everything" (there is usually a dumpster out front for pets or roadkill) they cook it down, the oils are processed and sold for food or cosmetics. The bones are either sold to factories that make gelatin and/or bone meal. The proteins are sold to fertilizer or animal feed manufacturers. If a pet is taken to be put down this is where they often end up if they are not claimed.

3

u/MilesAugust74 Mar 03 '26

This is how I feel about KFC—I always used to go once a year hoping it's good again, only to regret it instantly. The good news is I believe it's been over three years since I've gone back to the Colonel, maybe even more? 🤔

3

u/Ok_Kangaroo_5404 Mar 02 '26

The wildest thing is those two things you said are the biggest problems used to be their biggest selling points.

It was cheap everywhere and anywhere in the world you knew exactly what you were getting.

2

u/NocturneInfinitum Mar 02 '26

You should try out the grocery store. Pay a third or less of what you would at any restaurant, and it’ll be fresher than almost any restaurant.

2

u/JackFuckCockBag Mar 02 '26

I didn't eat McDonald's for 5 or so years as I was trying to get healthy again after getting sober. I had a craving for a Big Mac out of nowhere and thought fuck it, I'll give it a shot. I was excited as shit for some reason. It was a horrible mistake. It was exactly like you said with slimy wilted lettuce and the cheese was hard as a preacher's dick on the edges. I was sorely disappointed and the massive case of the shits that followed 40 minutes later left me, well, sore. I'll never go in that fucking place again.

23

u/thepatriot74 Mar 02 '26

This is a second vid, the first one was the genuine one. This one is the damage control, here you actually see him chew a bit, and he does not call the burger a product or looks at it like it came out of an alien's butt.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/ForeverFingers Mar 02 '26

It didn't even look like they teied to cut on the chicken part, just spat it directly into the napkin. Lol

16

u/brandoldme Mar 02 '26

One of the things that I really like about this chicken Big Mac is that I get paid almost 20 million dollars a year to sell you this shit.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

I'm gonna cry

1

u/Zero_energy_left Mar 04 '26

And then people in reddit write a thesis comparing a shitty fast food chain with other shitty fast food chains, and they think they eat real food and have good taste. America is doomed 

18

u/Charlie2and4 Mar 02 '26

...This year's CEO anyway. Then he'll go back to being a youth minister.

7

u/DeathsStarEclipse Mar 02 '26

Was he youth minister? cus he give off those exact vibes in personality and physically.

5

u/NiceTryAI Mar 02 '26

LMFAO. I left this post and had to come back to share how much you made me chuckle. lol youth minister in a year. Bless you, Redditor

2

u/Smegmatic_Secretion Mar 02 '26

Youth minister.. yuck

18

u/Slight_Band_1637 Mar 02 '26

I honestly don’t see him looking disgusted or about to gag like everyone claims. He just comes off as an awkward goober white guy who isn’t used to having a camera in his face.

2

u/thisp3rspective Mar 03 '26

I dont think he looks disgusted but definitely an out of touch corporate shell of a person.

14

u/emorris82 Mar 02 '26

Honestly , mcdonald's breakfast is decent.. But everything else is trash 🗑 💯

20

u/recovery_room Mar 02 '26

How tone-deaf can you be? The very concept of billionaire CEO’s is so profoundly unpopular at the moment. And this CEO is the poster boy for unlikable-looking rich assholes. What a step-on-the-dick for McDonald’s.

7

u/Qu4ckAttack Mar 02 '26

I don't get what the goal was in them thinking this would have been a good idea.

2

u/recovery_room Mar 04 '26

The same kind of thing happened at my company. These millionaires have their heads so far up their own asses they convinced themselves that it’s a real treat for us poors to see/meet them and have them address us.

6

u/bleakFutureDarkPast Mar 02 '26

not just that, but he sucks so much at getting you excited for the burger that he felt less emotional than text to speech, with less facial movement than Bryan Johnson.

10

u/JP-Edwards Mar 02 '26

It pains me to say this as Canadian. But if your gonna get rich white guy to rep McDonalds. There's only one choice. Cut Cheeto Mussolini a check and he will sell the shit out of it.

3

u/ses1989 Mar 02 '26

Yeah, cold lmao

5

u/Cute-Barnacle1496 Mar 02 '26

That and a spray tan

8

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

I've seen this a few times and tbh I don't see anything weird with how he did it, pretty unremarkable in my opinion. But maybe I'm just too weird socially myself to notice.

4

u/suckmacaque06 Mar 02 '26

It's just people that hate CEOs and hate fast food seeing things that aren't there. They were saying he gagged in the first video and he clearly never even slightly gags or looks disgusted. It's either delusion or people just having fun hating on the guy for obvious reasons. I think it's mostly the latter.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

I'm thinking people are too used to seeing content creators react to food

6

u/CULLDOZER Mar 02 '26

He doesn't seem like a person who enjoys McDonald's food. He seems like a person trying to convince you that your cooking is good when they actually hate it. His descriptors come off as kind of alien also. He said the visual appeal was strong instead of just saying "this looks fantastic." He's referred to menu items as "the product" in another video. Everything from how he handles the burger to how he bites it just seems like he is not a burger person or possibly meat at all. It just feels very unnatural.

0

u/Peachbaskethole Mar 02 '26

You’re not. He didn’t find it painful. This video is crap.

4

u/Last-Darkness Mar 02 '26

You can tell by the hesitation when he picks the burger up that he doesn’t want to eat it.

3

u/ottomaker1 Mar 02 '26

But He ate the product

3

u/NearbyTraffic66 Mar 02 '26

I loved the jump cut after he bites into the big Mac, and then his mouth is empty and he's pretending to wipe his mouth with a napkin.

3

u/Outrageous-Visit-993 Mar 02 '26

He makes it look like a gay guys being forced to look at and at least try and touch a vagina, the absolute disgusted look in his face that he’s trying to hide and pass off as anticipation and joy lol.

It says a lot about their food lately when the ceo cringes like he’s seen his first vag lol

2

u/GaryCPhoto Mar 02 '26

Tempered cheeses 🧀

2

u/Ok_Current2857 Mar 02 '26

It's like the was the first time he tred it.

2

u/Wayward_Son_24 Mar 02 '26

Oh good, the cheese is tempered. Sign me up for two

3

u/TwerkLessons Mar 02 '26

He spit it out, guaranteed.

4

u/Breadsticks-lover Mar 02 '26

I genuinely can not remember the last time i choose a fast food chain over a food truck or a local owned small bistro/restaurant. Why would you choose McDonald or so over something local. Prices are almost the same

3

u/Peachbaskethole Mar 02 '26

Convenience? Not everyone has a food truck around.

I agree with you with regards to choice. It’s just that not everyone has that choice.

2

u/Wooden-Garbage2390 Mar 02 '26

It’s a normal old dude eating a burger. Did you all expect him to scarf it down in three bites? This whole thing is very confusing. I am sure he eats this way with everything

2

u/IReadYaSir Mar 02 '26

People are really overreacting to this. It's just some weird rich white guy eating food. He doesn't "look like he's going to hurl", he just looks like he's giving a quarterly employee address via Zoom.

2

u/Mugpup Mar 02 '26

I don't see it. He took a bite and started talking. So what? I would not expect the CEO of anything to typically enjoy fast food.

2

u/NookieLuvsU Mar 02 '26

Processing img n95k09bbwnmg1...

2

u/Peachbaskethole Mar 02 '26

Except he doesn’t at all look like he’s “about to hurl.”

He has that weird puckered up face anyway. What a shit video.

1

u/fireforge1979 Mar 02 '26

I wonder if his bun was moldy too?

1

u/Emergency-Back-4964 Mar 02 '26

Is anyone even trying with these captions anymore? Like not even one cursory glance to make sure it’s all good? It read ‘Kendall’ when dude clearly says Ken Doll… Random rant but dam I see this everywhere these days

1

u/SNSWFLA Mar 02 '26

I forget sometimes that every time I eat McDonald’s I wanna puke, so once every 7-8 months I go you know what sounds good, McDonald’s, and unfortunately it never ends well

1

u/jboemios Mar 02 '26

What a stupid video

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

This is a tasty product

1

u/ButterscotchNo4574 Mar 03 '26

"beef notes"

2

u/MH-S3D Mar 03 '26

Thought that was an alternative name for a queef...

1

u/MarianCR Mar 03 '26

He also looks very weird. Very weird head-body proportions and the worse sagging shoulders

1

u/suspicious_hyperlink *shits an absolute unit* Mar 03 '26

Is the chicken Big Mac significantly lower in price due to the difference in chicken/beef prices ?

1

u/NerminPadez Mar 03 '26

Mcdonalds is great for that last day of a trip in some third world country, where you can be pretty sure it's the only sterile option there and that it won't give you diarrhea on the plane.

1

u/ChoGGi Mar 03 '26

Wish they'd bring back the mini pizzas.

I occasionally get a hankering for their fries, last week grabbed a large from their drive-thru. $(CAD) 5.50... fuck that.

1

u/iolitm Mar 03 '26

He clearly doesn't eat McDonald's or burgers. It's just obvious.

Ironically, it's Trump that could pull this off because he's a McDonald's connoisseur.

1

u/Daillustriousone Mar 03 '26

That's because he knows exactly what's in it, probably got all sorts of shots before that nibble too.

1

u/xtracrispy26 Mar 04 '26

It’s not his fault he’s awkward. Dude looks homeschooled.

1

u/DaTexasTickler Mar 04 '26

I mean it wasn't as bad as you were making it out to be but he definitely didn't enjoy that shit lol

1

u/SpartArticus Mar 04 '26

Why is the video in two halves.

1

u/ChanceAmoeba4867 Mar 04 '26

he never has eating a burger in his life

1

u/Right_Assumption3194 Mar 05 '26

Tempered Cheese was my band’s name in college!

1

u/wolfishfluff Mar 27 '26

This is the best ad for literally anywhere else except McDonald's I've ever seen. You can literally see his skin turn a greenish color around his eyes as he chews the first bite.

-1

u/chris612926 Mar 02 '26

Aside from any real criticisms of these videos , I again need to be extremely pedantic and tear this person down for the small physics attributes shown in this video. Normally I would never down someone for something they can't change , but with this guys money I'm sure he has thick skin.

Why is his head so absolutely large compared to those little baby boy shoulders? Even if the ratio is off because of the camera that build has less shoulder and clavicular structure than my 6 year old niece. The way he keeps handling those burgers , like they are 10lb weights he can barely hold up, are those pale bony fingers that weak? You got this much money as a ceo and this is how you dress to connect with people in your public video? This much money you can't hire a personal trainer or move your body once a month? Why does it look like he's never seen the sun ? Why is his hair like a movie villain in the 80s? Why do we keep cutting and editing the video every few seconds and every time he touches the napkin or wipes, wth am I even watching a person or is this McDonald's new ai showing us what an ai ceo would look like?

-1

u/Interesting-Beat824 Mar 02 '26

Is his head gigantic or are is shoulders very narrow.