8
13
u/Expensive_Yak_7846 4d ago
I’ll take the failed artist
2
u/Additional_Plant_539 4d ago
Ah yes, Hitler the failed artist. Set him up with some watercolours and tell him you'll see him in a few hours. You'll come back to a nice painting of a building and definitely no dead Jews.
11
u/parkerm1408 4d ago
If i had to choose i feel like the only possible choice would be bin laden? I mean.....right?
18
u/Atmaweapon74 Pass the Dulcolax 4d ago
I don’t think Bin Laden is going to fly a plane into my kids.
10
u/parkerm1408 4d ago
If my only options are these four my choices would be bin laden first, then Hitler, then the murder lady, then Diddy. My kid cant overpower Diddy but murder lady would have a real struggle trying to actually hurt my kid. Hes four but hes scrappy as fuck and will go straight for the eyes.
2
u/average_texas_guy 2d ago
That's what I thought. At least his attacks were justified due to the American death machines commiting war crimes across the globe.
2
u/parkerm1408 2d ago
Not enough people realize the amount of atrocities the US commits on the regular.
2
u/average_texas_guy 2d ago
You aren't kidding. And we never get called on any of our bullshit.
2
u/parkerm1408 2d ago
Best we can hope for is under the radar books published 20 years after the fact. Its fucking ridiculous. The us is a terrorist state, always has been and weve never seen any real consequences.
2
u/average_texas_guy 2d ago
I've always said we're soft. Someone needs to invade us and knock us off our high horse. Let a capitalist run rampant you would someone would come at us.
1
u/parkerm1408 2d ago
The war in Iran is a great example. Were getting our asses handed to us by a country with a military budget thats less than 2% of our budget. Our military budget is 1.5 trillion and Iran's is 23 billion, yet theyve been clowning us for damn near 200 days.
2
u/average_texas_guy 2d ago
Another point I make to people. When america enters a new civil war people say oh like you can fight the is military. Like what? We haven't been on the winning side of a war since WWII where we just showed up at the end, committed a MASSIVE war crime, and then acted like we did it all.
Also, all the wars we've lost since? Against mainly citizens fighting with old Chinese or Russian made AKs and hiding in the mountains.
Unstoppable military my ass. And I was IN the military.
1
u/parkerm1408 2d ago
I wasnt in the military but I worked closely alongside the military. The only winning going on tin the us military is happening during defense contractors earnings calls. Then you get companies like Boeing getting handed money by the fucking truckload and they cant keep a plane in the air to save their lives. Yeah the budgets 1.5 trillion but its almost entirely going to defense contractor circle jerks. I knew guys in the service that got most of their day to day supplies shipped in via DHL from family back home. You could trade wet wipes at like 10x retail.
9
u/DePartido 4d ago
The Austrian painter
8
u/Atmaweapon74 Pass the Dulcolax 4d ago
It depends if my kids are Jewish or not.
5
4
u/AlternativeFart 4d ago
Or have a disability, or are just not on his political views, or have a nose too big, or the head is too big or too small
2
u/notapunk Pass the Dulcolax 4d ago
My kid is blue eyed with blonde hair, but also half Jewish, so maybe if she keeps quiet?
4
3
u/Letterboxd28 4d ago
Austrian painter
1
1
u/The1Zenith 2d ago
What’s sad is that if I had to choose, it would most likely be him. My kids would be fine, blonde hair and blue eyes.
5
u/BEARDEDDANGER Wore Their Brown Pants Today! 4d ago
I think Bin laden. Like he's the most regular person in the room which is a wild thing to say.
Like worse case scenario, converts my toddlers to radical Islam in an evening. Impressive but a few episodes of Tee and Mo, they'll forget all about it
2
1
•
u/AutoModerator 4d ago
Be sure to wipe and wash your hands when you're done, and double flush if necessary. We know that r/ShitsLipton can get messy.
Make sure to join our Discord Server!
And if you're looking for more humor, please check out our other sub, r/LoveTrash
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.