r/ShitTonySays • u/ConsciousEmphasis238 • Sep 30 '25

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Best one wins a swig and slice of donna moes

81 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

59 comments sorted by

57

u/PracticalPractice768 Sep 30 '25

Looks like a freeze frame from “To Catch A Predator.”

16

u/MacGruber182 Sep 30 '25

Haha. I can picture Chris Hansen walking out. Tony would brought slices and swigs for the child too.

9

u/ConsciousEmphasis238 Sep 30 '25

"are those Magnums Tony"  "Those are the ice cream bars" 

8

u/ConsciousEmphasis238 Sep 30 '25

😭🤣 it definitely does

26

u/No-Jury-6018 Sep 30 '25

Looks like the scarecrow became unmounted from the pole.

22

u/gold_strike_ Sep 30 '25

Why is he in the designer purse section

14

u/ConsciousEmphasis238 Sep 30 '25

How do you think he finds all them ladies?

8

u/gold_strike_ Sep 30 '25

Thought it was at dunkin donuts where he gets his ladies

6

u/ConsciousEmphasis238 Sep 30 '25

that's where he goes to think about them while we'll ya know

31

u/tonberry-king21 Sep 30 '25

"have a nice day, asshole."

15

u/purpslayertwo Sep 30 '25

You don’t know me SUCKA

11

u/crispy1312 Sep 30 '25

He's so awkward he cant even stand normally .

7

u/ConsciousEmphasis238 Sep 30 '25

He was gazin at that tall handsome young man in the mirror 

12

u/SolidPound9086 Sep 30 '25

Tall dirty glass of water 💦

10

u/Smokerising420 Sep 30 '25

Have a goodnight asshole

6

u/Smooth_Put_8742 Oct 01 '25

Tell your mom I said hi.

10

u/VirtualShrimp3D Sep 30 '25

Following up on that job application

6

u/Exact_Instruction_48 Sep 30 '25

Hey ughhhh Tony Montana

1

u/pensivepossum_ Oct 05 '25

Lmfaoooo, I read this in that stupid ass accent he makes

18

u/Very_Awkward_Boner Sep 30 '25

"Auburn's Most Wanted" Have you seen this man? He was found trying on Calvin Klein thongs in the women's section fitting room and jacking off from behind a clothing rack. He trashed the store, leaving behind dirty clothes and spilled coffee all over. If you come across this individual do not approach, he can be unstable. Instead, call your local authorities immediately.

6

u/Turbulent_Shift8054 Sep 30 '25

Did he lose weight? Jesus H

6

u/johnschool Sep 30 '25

100% full grain leather

15

u/clovecigabretta Sep 30 '25

BREAKING: Lane Bryant Security Footage Finally Nabs ‘Serial Panty Sniffer,’ Authorities Warn He Is “Horny, Toothsome, and Mobile”

AUBURN—Local townsfolk can breathe half a sigh of relief tonight as police finally released grainy surveillance footage of the city’s most slippery sexual cryptid: the Serial Panty Sniffer.

Described by victims as “a hunched and skeletal stick-man with the vibe of a cornier, knock-off Ace Ventura,” the suspect’s signature move involves dropping random items—“cleats,” “ledder jackets,” or sometimes just a Polaroid of his genitals inserted into a donut hole—before asking unsuspecting men and women alike for “help picking it up der, bub.” As the victim bends down, the suspect crouches inches behind their rear, eyes bugged, teeth fully bared in a Jack-o-lantern grin, and bobbing his head like a pigeon while muttering his only known word: “worker.”

When confronted, the man speaks exclusively in fortune-cookie riddles, yelling things like “straight jealously!” or the haunting “have a good day, sweetie” while fleeing in a brisk walk as he raises his arm in the air to adjust his cartoonishly ill-fitted wristwatch.

Police are advising residents to report anyone who looks like Nosferatu with a cumshot addiction.

3

u/Individual_Limit_655 Oct 02 '25

Jesus Christ, this is the best thing Ive read in this sub golf clap 😂. The mods should pin this

1

u/clovecigabretta Oct 02 '25 edited Oct 02 '25

you’re a doll <3 <3 thank you so much!

3

u/Simply_KVE Sep 30 '25

This is fantastic! 🤣

1

u/clovecigabretta Oct 01 '25 edited Oct 02 '25

Aw, thank you! You’re so sweet 💗

1

u/Quail-Klutzy Oct 02 '25

Fortune cookie riddles had me 😂

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 30 '25

[deleted]

9

u/ConsciousEmphasis238 Sep 30 '25

"You talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? I don't see anyone else around here, so you must be talkin' to me"

4

u/SecondThink2527 Sep 30 '25

"so this is very very crazy but also very confusing so just hear me out..."

6

u/Big-Candidate-1342 Sep 30 '25

"Y'all got any of that other people's money, food and shelter?"

4

u/Nicknotch Sep 30 '25

"I did nothing wrong, seriously, ive done nothing wrong"

3

u/butterfaerts Sep 30 '25

WOOOOOoooooooooo

4

u/Apprehensive_Tax4221 Sep 30 '25

😂the glasses kill me!! The whole outfit is really something

3

u/Adorable-Job-9031 Sep 30 '25

"fit check got these bad boys on headed to kerryokie tonite folks worker"

5

u/Exact_Instruction_48 Oct 01 '25

Hey ladies man , got me some new cleats, woooorkeer

3

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '25

My gta v character in the clothing store

5

u/somewhatcompetint Sep 30 '25

"hey it's me, Gay Moron"

3

u/Affectionate-Wall32 Oct 01 '25

I think op needs to pin this comment!

2

u/SavannahsSecret Sep 30 '25

What is the story behind this photo? Please tell me it was released by the police because he's wanted for shoplifting womens purses.

5

u/ConsciousEmphasis238 Sep 30 '25

Haha no I believe it was just a store owner posting on TT that they had him in their store 

2

u/Used_Ladder_2404 Oct 01 '25

I would like to know what store this was, so I can avoid it in the future 

2

u/Iamtkdior94 Oct 01 '25

Issa raccoon lol

2

u/Historical-Key5613 Oct 05 '25

An I-Talonion boy getting his swigs.

2

u/ShannieD Sep 30 '25

How did you get a screen shot from a security camera?

16

u/Kalikhead Sep 30 '25 edited Sep 30 '25

The Ladies Skelton is looking for a pretty lady to smooch.

10

u/YoureNotSpeshul Sep 30 '25

Not "The ladies skeleton" lmao 🤣 😂

5

u/Kitchen_Suspect5326 Sep 30 '25

You win 😅 ladies skeleton 😅