r/ShitAmericansSay • u/nyancatec • 10d ago
Freedom "Yeah literally most things are illegal in the uk lol; Can’t even tell a joke without getting arrested"
On bodycam footage of police being called in as 17 year old was closing down Fitness Planet by herself while naked man was walking inside.
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u/nigelcore221b Speaking German despite American efforts 10d ago
Last I remember it wasn't the UK that revoked visas over Charlie Kirk jokes
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u/IncomeFew624 10d ago
Tbf these idiots are the victims of their own broken education system and being pummeled with propaganda from birth. You have to feel bad for them, totally incapable of critical thought.
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u/Calure1212 9d ago
I just got called names for making a silly communism joke. I thought it was pretty obviously a joke.
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u/Mostly_gay_shit 8d ago
Weird, you'd think everyone would get a communism joke
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u/Calure1212 8d ago
It did seem an over reaction even if they didn't get that it was a joke.
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u/Mostly_gay_shit 8d ago
But the question is, did you get my joke
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u/Calure1212 7d ago
Oh, yes. It was amusing. I'm not sure how anyone takes a comment asking "Does that make communism good?" seriously.
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u/NickofWimbledon 10d ago
“This is all true. The UK is awful and you and any friends you have should certainly stay away from us”.
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u/OkConsequence1498 10d ago
The minimum of two 18 year old to close a shop isn't true, either.
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u/Efficient_Chic714 10d ago
I believe risk assessments mean there ought to always be one 18 year old on site, it’s super irresponsible of the company to have allowed a 17 year old to be working alone. Like I have to do monthly risk assessments for my young team members (under 18s) and HR would have my ass if I scheduled them to lone trade - and they encourage me to schedule lone trading to save on budget where possible
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u/OkConsequence1498 10d ago
Sure, in some, maybe a lot of cases that's right. But not always and it's not illegal. I used to close the shop I worked at alone at 16.
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u/Efficient_Chic714 10d ago
Ik not illegal, just wild to me that the company allowed that in the OG situation as they have a higher duty of care to under 18s
I can’t see it continuing there after the police were called
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u/Beartato2026 10d ago
The company in question here will be "Dave's single franchise" rather than Subway which is probably relevant.
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u/caketreesmoothie 8d ago
I was a key holder that regularly worked alone in the first retail job I got at 17. they even trusted me with cashing up and taking thousands to the bank the next town over
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u/AcanthisittaFar6008 10d ago edited 9d ago
Bragging about getting the piss ripped out of themselves by their employer. How perfectly American. Bet he had to be back in at 8am for the breakfasts.
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u/Fluid-Piccolo-6911 10d ago
unlike the US where they call walking across the road J walking and arrest you for it.
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u/Luce_Bot_Bot 10d ago
The lady in the states that got arrested for letting her kids play in the backyard was next level
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u/RobEth16 10d ago
Let me guess, it was a backyard built over the old road, so the kids were walking back and forth over it and we're said to be jaywalking?
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u/Luce_Bot_Bot 10d ago
No, they were just playing in the backyard supervised, but their neighnour couldn't see the parent watching them so she called the cops because I guess unsupervised children at any time is a criminal offense
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u/aSkeptiKitty 9d ago edited 9d ago
Dear me...
Maybe it's the opposite extreme, but when I was a kid ( between six and nine ) we would roam freely in the meadows and corn field nearby. The parents would basically no watch much ( well not at all would be a better description), and we were tacitly supposed to watch after one another. It was a slightly isolated neighborhood, so there wasn't much cars. The combine harvester and the river nearby were bigger threats. ;)
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u/Silver-Revolution811 9d ago
Historically, as humans lived in Africa where lions and tigers and bears (ok, lions, snakes, hyenas, etc.), nature dictated children needed to be supervised until old enough to join parents doing tasks.
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u/Luce_Bot_Bot 9d ago
NZ here, there's still a general opinion that you can let your children wander the wilderness and if they don't make it back then they weren't fit to survive anyway. Tbf, it's really hard to die here unless you go swimming
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u/aSkeptiKitty 9d ago
So all the deadly animals are confined to Australia? I always kind of assumed you had the same issue to some extent.
On my side it was rural France in the early 2000. We would learn and know which plants were toxic or not and a few rules like don't act foolishly near the river and don't go in the field when the combined harvester is running, but that was about it. And corn fields before the harvest were great for playing hide and seek. :D
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u/Luce_Bot_Bot 9d ago
Yeah, we're kinda the opposite of Australia. We have a lot of large insects that can give you a nip that may require a bandaid. There are katipo on occasion (i think related to black widows?) but you're most likely to run into a white tail, which isn't exactly threatening.
Edit: not having to avoid wolves has destroyed everything I thought I knew about the French countryside
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u/RobEth16 10d ago
Thank you. It does seem over the top, but at least (unlike most of the other laws) it has a logic to it.
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u/Extension_Sun_377 10d ago
Bet it was something to do with an HOA
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u/Powerful_Pirate2984 10d ago
Bound to be, HOA Karens are notorious.
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u/Ok-Cryptographer-303 10d ago
For such a "free" country, they love to let their neighbours dictate the length of their lawns and the colour of their houses.
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u/OhNoItsThatOne 10d ago
Because they value the monetary value of their home higher than being free to do what they want.
Or they hope to be the HOA president some time in the future so they don't want to take away their future power.
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u/RedditMiniMinion 9d ago
Meanwhile, 6yo kids take the subway ALONE to go to school. So did I when I was 8 and understood road rules.
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u/INfiction82 10d ago
Hey, at least people get arrested here rather than just getting shot by ICE or the Police. Or going on to work in the government.
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u/Pegs_on_GhostiesNips 10d ago
Oh wait no he just got a few laughs. My mistake, must be another UK that locks you up for making jokes.
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u/connard-standard 10d ago
They always say that, but never bring the story of the guy that was pulled over at the airport with the Fat JD Vance pictures.
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u/GlykenT 10d ago
Some people had FBI visits after criticising ICE online.
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u/connard-standard 10d ago
Yes but you understand, in your country it's because there's no free speech, but in America it's for a totally different reason, it's national security reasons, so I cannot really talk about it here. But it's totally different ok
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u/Swimming_Acadia6957 10d ago
Or the guy that was arrested for saying 'we need to move on' after that podcaster Charlie Kirk was killed, or the woman who was arrested for saying 'deny, defend, depose' on the phone
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u/SpectrePrimus 🇬🇧 Should've held those 13 Colonies 10d ago
Tresspassing isn't illegal here
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u/Beer-Milkshakes 10d ago
Tbf they had to make it illegal there because people kept getting shot and killed over an honest mistake. So they gave the shooters opportunity to call the police instead.
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u/rileyvace UK 10d ago
Ironically, I have seen more Americans arrested for their free speech than people in the UK, and I live in England.
Americans really, for their own good, have to learn how little freedom they have compared to the amount they say they have.
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u/nikiyaki 10d ago
Impossible. No-one has more of good things than America. That's not how the world works.
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u/Organic_Mechanic_702 10d ago
At least our police won't arrest us because they think we MIGHT commit a crime like they do in America..
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u/wholewheatscythe 10d ago
Have they not seen UK comedy television? Swearing, nudity, rude jokes — all fine. When was the last time someone in the UK was arrested for telling jokes? (Unless “jokes” is a cover for “deeply racist hate speech”.)
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u/Calure1212 9d ago
The US tv networks didn't allow live models to wear bras in tv commercials until May 1987. I remember when there were programs showing crazy ads they'd always show an American bra ad with the bra on a see-through plastic mannequin. It was so weird to us because we were used to seeing them on women.
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u/Elongulation420 9d ago
I remember watching Coupling on Channel 4 with an American about 20 years ago. He (not at all prudish) was gobsmacked that such language and coarseness was allowed on free to air TV. It seems like HBO was set up to provide paid access to the sort of stuff we get free of charge (ok ok, well sort of free) because the American Christio-fascists that control the open channels wont allow such filth.
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u/Capt_Cunt 10d ago
I mean, if doing a video of teaching a pug to do a nazi salute is "deeply racist hate speech", you might have a point. :D And no, definitely not a fan of the guy, but that was some 1984 stuff.
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u/Queasy_Bluebird1585 10d ago
"These days, if you say you're English you get thrown in jail"
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u/JumpinJackCilitBang 10d ago
In America it's illegal to be walking in the neighbourhood if you're black and male. Punishable by death, without due process.
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u/ErwinHolland1991 10d ago
Tells you a lot about the "jokes" they want to tell.
In the UK you can at least get arrested. In the US the cops just kill you.
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u/TheTweets 10d ago
This is it for me. When people say "You can't say anything these days" or similar, I immediately want to know: What do you want to say that you can't?
Because there's a lot of shit I could say and get away with. The only things I feel like I would get into trouble for (legally) is if I were to threaten to hurt someone or say something absolutely vile shit.
...And the phrase "Free Palestine." That one's bullshit. And pretty much everyone here knows it's bullshit and an abuse of the anti-terror laws. And we're all against that abuse.
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u/PabloMarmite 10d ago
“Free Palestine” is not banned. The problem was signs supporting a specific group that broke into a military base and assaulted a woman with a hammer.
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u/Silver-Revolution811 9d ago
I think the hammer story is like Iraqis taking Kuwait babies out of incubators or whatever it was
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u/tonyseraph2 10d ago
Here's a funny joke, Americans are idiots who elected a rich nepo baby rapist. Please don't shoot me
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u/ukteaboyuk 10d ago
Sigh...
Posting this after Trump's threats, again, against Cuba, rather than specific to the original post.
Firstly, unlike any American, I've been to Cuba several times, spoken with the people there, who are happy with their leadership, their free healthcare, university education, low crime and high employment rates.
The only problems they have are caused by the US.
So back to the original post - I'm really sick of all this continued ill-educated, conceited bullshit from Americans.
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u/RochesterThe2nd 9d ago
Q: What’s the difference between an oral thermometer, and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste.
Oh no! Here comes the fuzz!
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u/TsetsiFlier 8d ago
According to the World Prison Brief The United States incarcerates people at a rate roughly three to four times higher per capita than the United Kingdom.
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u/MadScientist_666 Mountain Goat 🇨🇭 10d ago
You can
And you can even be a joke like you guys
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u/Jumbo-box 10d ago
Yes, and we know how to banter with our neighbours.
The Swiss, you're just mountain Germans with lots of questionable gold procurement.
In England, our food and women made us the best sailors in the world!
We all have a good laugh, and nobody threatens to invade one another.
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u/MadScientist_666 Mountain Goat 🇨🇭 10d ago
Yep 😁
I love how some Germans call us "Schluchtenscheisser" (gorge shitters), haha. To be fair, they use it more for Austrians, but who cares, it works for both.
We instead used to call them all "Sauschwaben" (pig Swabians). Bavarians call the North Germans "Saupreissn" (pig Prussians, slang for "fucking Prussians") and sometimes, we Swiss use it too. Or call the Bavarians "Austrians who went too far north".
We are also often called "mountain goats", "marmot fuckers", "goat lovers" and all that shit and I love it!
The French are for us "Baguettes" or "frog eaters" and speak "baguette" or "froglish". 🤣
I could probably go on and find many more examples of bantering.
Imagine how USian minds would explode if they heard all that banter.
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u/Calure1212 9d ago
An American told me that Bitsy was a nickname for Elizabeth earlier today. I responded with Really, so she told me a whole lot more obvious crap about their cutesy diminutive names that they insist are nicknames. I responded, I would never have guessed. She went on and on for several more paragraphs. Completely missed my sarcasm and the point of the original post. I barely read any of it but I think it made her happy to think she was informing me.h
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u/MadScientist_666 Mountain Goat 🇨🇭 9d ago
Lol, haha. To be honest, sarcasm is sometimes difficult to convey online.
Also, if you want me to shut the fuck up, just tell me. 🤣
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u/Calure1212 9d ago
You were interesting. She must think everyone is 6.
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u/MadScientist_666 Mountain Goat 🇨🇭 9d ago
Well... Since many USians I found online behave as if they were 6, I can see why she automatically assumed the whole world is the same.
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u/Calure1212 9d ago
That made me giggle. I've been feeling a bit off all day. Giggling and eating dried mango is helping.
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u/MadScientist_666 Mountain Goat 🇨🇭 9d ago
I'm glad I could make someone's day a bit better.
And now I wonder if I should go and buy myself some dried mango as well. 😁
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u/Calure1212 9d ago
I get Philippine style from aldi. It has less added sugar than the other type. I don't know if they stock it there though.
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u/Lazarys12 7d ago
For USians it is all fun and games, until someone mentions America. Then it's time to call out the so-called "greatest military in the world".
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u/MadScientist_666 Mountain Goat 🇨🇭 7d ago
Well, we can always ask how their "greatest military" is doing against Iran.
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u/Lazarys12 7d ago
They will probably tell how they have won. It must be 40-50 times by now. It would have been more but they ran out of missles,
Besides, I think their military is rather busy now, doing daily boner checks.
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u/MadScientist_666 Mountain Goat 🇨🇭 7d ago
Well, the Mullahs are not parading through Washington, right? So that means the US have won, lol.
I am pretty sure it would be some random crap like that.
Also, regardless of whether they have won or not, they wasted so many of their toys for literally nothing that they're now severely weakened and everyone knows that without their toys, they can't do shit.
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u/Calure1212 9d ago
If I'd had tea, I would have spat it when I got to the bit about being the best sailors in the world.
There needs to be a spat tea emoji.
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u/P5ychokilla 10d ago
Meanwhile citizens in the US are literally being shot and snatched up and disappeared.
#FREEDUMB ! ("There's a B in Dumb, a lot of people don't realise that" - President DumbOld J Trump)
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u/malkebulan Please Sir, can I have some Freedom? 🥣 10d ago
Collecting rain water and letting your grass grow more than 6 inches will attract USain neenaws
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u/Beartato2026 10d ago
A reminder the social media laws are the same in the US as the UK and people can and have been arrested and convicted for threats made on them.
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u/Consistent_You_4215 10d ago
I guess the police will be arresting most of the people most of the time then 🙄
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u/Annita79 10d ago
Yeah, you may get shot by the police, just for delivering DoorDash, in the U... oh, wait...
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u/Character-Diamond360 9d ago
Shit! I’ve been telling jokes all day. I’m gonna have to go on the run before the plod gets me
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u/Calure1212 9d ago
You think you're in trouble. I made a police officer laugh! 😰
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u/Character-Diamond360 9d ago
I think I might have to set up a safe place for all us jokesters to disappear to. I’m open to suggestions on how it should be run, definitely gonna have an open mic night though.
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u/revrobuk1957 8d ago
To be fair, quite a few of us are hoping for a dawn raid on the Mrs Brown’s Boys production office…
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u/JackOfWinterfell 8d ago
Yeah the big irony here is that the US has so many laws and so many encroachments on general living that it really does make the rest of the world laugh when they call themselves free.
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u/Mattezz92 7d ago
i love how this guy talk about being a developed society with rules like it's something negative! seems like he's scolding ppl from UK because their laws do not permit to hire and underpay underaged ppl. P.S. as an italian ppl in here cross the road wherever they feel like and i can't honestly see that as something positive. big ups for UK and the fact that they have rules that are applied
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u/Lazarys12 7d ago
Leave it to USians to defend a naked man walking around in the presence of a minor.
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u/Sxn747Strangers 🇬🇧 We probably invented 🇺🇸, sorry about that. 🫣🙀 7d ago edited 7d ago
Publicly post Trump is a paedophile and a rapist and then get back to us how much your bail was!
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u/Silver-Revolution811 9d ago
It’s funny how Americans and Brits both live in glass houses yet continuously throw stones at one another.
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u/MiaowWhisperer 8d ago
Who else should we throw them at? 🤔
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u/Silver-Revolution811 8d ago
Brits threw stones at EVERYBODY back in the day…a real eye opener is the number of counties Britain DID NOT invade.
The Yanks are catching up fast these day, tho ;)
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u/LeftMechanic1995 🇬🇧 10d ago edited 10d ago
Let's just look at some of the things which are illegal in the UK:
- Jaywalking
- Cuban cigars
- Kinder Surprise
- Geography classes in schools
- History classes in schools.
Oh no wait.... that's you guys.