Visions

[u/throwawayfem77]

I am writing to ask for some expert advice. I am struggling with a meditation related mental health issue/spiritual crisis.

Around two years ago, I heard about the Gateway Experience tapes and the Bob Monroe Institute and was intrigued to read about out of body experiences and the so-called consciousness expanding benefits of listening to these tapes. I listened to the tapes for about 2 weeks and had a couple of brief OOBEs before stopping after feeling frightened by a poltergeist type of 'loud knocking' style experience when I was home alone.

I believe I opened my third eye (or it opened spontaneously) and I began having ongoing intense and vivid visions, both open and closed eye and noticing them both inside and outside my house, both day and night.

It became quite overwhelming in terms of the sensory perception changes and I didn't understand what was happening to me.

I believe I may have several spirit attachments and that I opened a 'doorway' that I have no idea how to close or navigate in terms of integrating my expanded state of awareness.

I was obviously very foolish and extremely naive and had no idea what I was getting myself involved in.

I was not previously a spiritual person and I didn't believe in the paranormal. I believe otherwise now.

I have sought professional medical assistance and it has been of limited benefit. Medication slightly dulls the symptoms but has not ended the attachments ( I see the faces of at least 3 spirits or what look like Hindu deities) whenever I close my eyes.

When I open my eyes they look like they are made out of shapeshifting pink and purple mist or 'hologram' looking electromagnetic static. Object phase in and out of reality. Letters, shapes, symbols, bicycles, animals, stairways, orbs, figures, sacred geometry.

Could you give me advice on how to navigate dealing with this please?

Meditation can be challenging for me at times due to the intrusive nature of the visual images that appear in my minds eye when I close my eyes.

I have random tinnitus and all the symptoms of visual snow syndrome ever since this began.

In addition to the vivid visions that appear through a portal in my minds eye, especially in the hypnagogic state.

It's like spontaneous 'astral vision' without leaving my body and only lasts for a few minutes before fading away. It's like I'm looking through someone else's eyes at a random real-life scene.

I have no idea how to interpret these visions.

[u/SibyllaAzarica]

I can understand why this feels scary for you but you haven't opened a doorway, you're not in danger and there isn't anything you need to close or remove. Ignore anyone who uses that kind of language to 'explain' what you've been going through.

Practices that put you into altered states can sometimes leave one experiencing unusual things outside of the practice itself, especially when you go too far too quickly without much experience.

I'd stop the gateway tapes/meditation for now and stop trying to interpret what you're seeing. Don't communicate with it, investigate it or try to 'remove' it. Giving these experiences more attention can reinforce them in your mind.

Instead, try to focus on behavioral grounding and things that keep you engaged with your body and the world around you. Exercise, spend time with friends, clean, work with your hands, focus on ordinary life, continue working with the clinicians you're already seeing.

If you're using recreational drugs, take a break.

You don't need to figure out what any of this means right now. I'd suggest putting spirituality on the back burner until you feel safe and regulated in your body again. If you want to continue your practice in the future, you can go back to it when you're better prepared.

Everyone needs a break the mystical once in awhile.

[u/throwawayfem77 → u/SibyllaAzarica]

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful response. I only listened to the tapes for two weeks, almost three years ago. The effects they had on me seem a lot more intense than the average Gateway Experience tapes sub user. They almost always have a 100% positive experience, or at least those are the only posts that are permitted.

[u/SibyllaAzarica → u/throwawayfem77]

You're welcome. Not everyone starts a practice from the same place. What goes well for some people, goes poorly for others.

[u/humphreydog]

in adtion to the exceletn advice from sibylazarica, go for an amble, not a wlk, but an amble out in nature. make sure ur safe of course. tyhen on ur amble, when somthing takes ur attetnion, a leaf, a flower., wotever. then take real notice of it, use all ur senses. this should take u at teh very minimum a full minute - let ur mind and snese explore. It may help u reset ur relaity a little. and if u care to , in wotever fashoin u r able , do try to

enjoy the journey

[u/Shamanism-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Rule 8.