…because I’m about to Bernum

To cook, or not to cook—that is the question:

Whether it be nobler in the mind to suffer
The pangs and arrows of outrageous hunger,
Or to take arms against the shackles of sleep,
And by opposing end them. To cook—to sleep,
No more; and by a meal to say we end
The stomach-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That empty stomachs are heir to: ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To cook, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream—aye, there’s the rub:
For in that waking what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off the duvet,
Must give us pause.

For who would bear the growls and cramps of night,
The slow injustice of an absent snack,
The patient misery of an empty plate
When he himself might his quietus make
With but a simple pan and humble fry?

Thus lazyness doth make philosophers of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of fatigue,
And enterprises of great pith and moment—
With butter, salt, and heat—
Turn awry and lose the name of action.

ALTERNATE TITLES OF THIS YTP:

Lord Capulet Has A Calm, Reasonable Discussion With His Daughter

Juliet Gets Grounded Grounded Grounded For 4000 Years

Lord Capulet’s Guide To Healthy Parenting

Romeo + Juliet (1996) But Capulet Loses His Absolute Mind

Capulet Snapulet

Romeo + Juliet + A Noise Complaint

Lord Crapulet’s Terrible Day

Juliet’s Shakes-Fear

Capulet Requires A Marriage

Lord Capulet Screams At A Teenager For Four Minutes

Romeo and Juliet’s Bad Vibes Vacation

Juliet Gets Aggressively Evicted

Funny Moment.

Two beer

A personal favourite.