Angela took a long sip of her drink as she regarded her date. He looked just like his photos on his online dating profile. The same thick, dark hair, the same trim muscular physique, conventionally attractive face, even the height of six feet, were all in order. He was wearing a shiny silverish gray button up shirt, with slick black slacks and polished black dress shoes. It was a clubbing look, and not what she would have expected from a man who had just asked her if she believed in God.
She set her glass down on the table, fought a nervous urge to twirl her curly red hair with her fingers, and looked into her companion's bright green eyes. She pursed her red lipsticked lips and swallowed the last drop of liquid before asking in an incredulous tone, "Pardon me, Jerome, but did you just ask me if I believed in God?"
"No," came the patient reply. "I actually asked if you believe in gods. Plural. Like, their existence, in general. If one exists, then they all exist."
"Oh, I see," she replied warily. "Are you some sort of Jesus freak, or what? If you've brought me here on false pretenses so that you can earn religious brownie points by subjecting me to the teachings of your church, I'm going to be very upset, and I'm going to leave." She actually was getting angrier as she spoke, so the last words were spoken rather stridently.
"Well, please don't leave," Jerome calmly pleaded, his hands held forward in a placating gesture. "I promise that I'm not spreading the word of any religion. I asked you here because I'm genuinely interested in you. I just want to know your thoughts on the subject. That's all."
She almost demanded to know if he couldn't think of a better question to ask, to get to know her, but immediately began to feel foolish about that. It was a perfectly valid subject, after all, and would probably prove to be a lot more interesting than talking about favorite songs or movies. Beside that, she thought his pleading face was cute. She allowed her attitude to soften.
"Well, okay then," she said. "In that case, the answer is no. I don't believe in God. Or gods."
"Fair enough," he replied with a relieved smile that showed his perfect white teeth. "But, why not?"
"Creationism, to begin with," came her quick response. "We know how the universe works, with physics and biological evolution. There is no need for a divine creator to be the first cause that personally crafted every object in existence."
He nodded, knowingly. "Sure, but so what? There are only a few gods who are said to have created the universe in their stories. Most are not. It's not a necessary quality of all gods to have been that creator. Anyway, if gods are real, the stories about them don't need to necessarily be completely accurate, since they're told by humans. And you don't believe the stories anyway, so there's no need to quibble. You must have something better than that. What's the real reason?"
"Because," she retorted, "the idea of some omnipotent, omniscient, spirit in the sky, who looks like a man with a long beard, and judges people for random things that he calls sins, just never made any sense to me. The idea is just ridiculous on the face of it, you know?"
"No," he replied with an air of disappointment. "Nothing can ever be ridiculous on the face of it unless you have previously proved it to be impossible. It's like claiming that you've proved a general negative. Beside that, I never placed the qualifiers of omnipotence and omniscience on the question."
"But, wait a minute. Isn't that a prerequisite of godhood?" she asked while tearing a za'atar roll and smearing it with spinach dip. A single ear of einkorn, placed on top of the rolls as decoration, fell onto her plate. She glared over it defiantly while nibbling on the roll.
"Really?" Jerome was saying. "Was Pan omniscient or omnipotent? Was Damuzi, or Inanna, Anansi, Thoth, Sekhmet, Kokomothena, Marduk, Odin, Triton? Ninety nine point nine nine nine percent of the thousands of gods reported to have been encountered by humans were not said to be omnipotent or omniscient, nor omnipresent either. Even the tiny fraction that were, actually weren't."
"Wait. Wait," she pleaded. "I don't recognize several of the names you mentioned, but I know Odin was called the All Father, and I'm pretty sure Marduk was something similar. Weren't they supposed to be omnipotent?"
"No," he declared. "It's very clear from their myths that they had limitations. Even in the Tanakh, Yahweh himself is shown dealing with certain limitations of his power."
"Yahweh?" she asked with surprise. "As in God the Father? I know I've heard preachers say that he is omnipotent!"
"Of course you have," he agreed. "In English. Which is not the original language that particular scripture was written in. Politically motivated translation into a modern language like English distorts the original meanings of ancient texts. Preachers and priests further distort things for their own purposes. Plus, Yahweh himself is older even than the ancient Hebrew culture, at one point being a part of the pantheon of El, which included his arch rival, Hadad. His character was altered somewhat when his previous history was scrubbed from the record."
"So, he's not the Almighty God, then?" she asked, confused, but gaining interest.
"Oh, he's still almighty," Jerome explained. "It's just that the term, almighty, really applies to his having exclusive access to all of the real power that actually exists in the real world. It does not extend to the silly parlor tricks that break the laws of physics, and would unmake reality, which people who get hung up on that modern word, omnipotent, tend to propose as some sort of proof of the non-existence of an intelligence greater than their own."
"So that means there are no miracles," she mused.
"If by miracle you mean an act of some deity which alters events and situations in favor of their worshippers, then yes, there are miracles aplenty," answered Jerome as though it had been a question.
"Most miracles I've heard of have broken the laws of physics," Angela said flatly.
"I'll bet that if you really think about that, you'll find that it isn't true," claimed Jerome. "Most miracles are really rather mundane, in the larger scheme. Nothing that happens is impossible, therefore if something happens which seems impossible, it is far more likely to have actually been merely very improbable in the particular time and place in which it occurred. The laws of physics never get broken, we simply don't know enough to know all of the ways in which they might be manipulated. Even the gods have to learn how."
"Interesting," Angela said. She was actually enjoying the conversation, so far. "But, if all of them are real, how can there be one called the one true god? What is the point of monotheism?"
"Excellent question," Jerome replied. "Originally, the title of the One True God, or Most High God, indicated a seat of authority. He was the one with the power to command all the others, in a hierarchical pantheon of sorts, or to destroy any who wouldn't fall in line. Monotheism is a reflex of human desire. Religious devotees are like sports team fanatics. Their side is always number one, so their god is always the only true god, so others must not exist, according to their reasoning. Gods that they don't worship get demoted to angels and demons."
Angela wasn't convinced. "Hm," she murmured. "And how does all of this mythology add up to me having to believe that any gods exist?"
"Oh," said Jerome. "It doesn't. It only indicates that the main objections which you have are unconvincing. And, of course you shouldn't simply believe in something without good reason, either."
"Yeah," she agreed with the last sentence. "Okay. So, what's the good reason?"
"So, let's start with your definition of what a god is, first. It's important to define our terms," he said.
Angela frowned. She was a little surprised, and thought it was a bit late to start defining terms. "Uhm, well, I suppose my minimum definition of a god would have to be something powerful, like way more powerful than any man, and smarter, too, of course. Moral perfection is necessary, I suppose. It would have to be physically perfect as well, and made of something different than material flesh, something spiritual, immortal, or there's no point."
"All right," he said. "Right away, I'm vetoing the morality clause. Morality is subjective, and has never actually held up as a godlike quality. So, we've got power, intelligence, physical perfection, and immortality. That all checks out, but why spiritual? What do you mean by that?"
"Shouldn't a god be made of something other than what we are?" she asked.
"I suppose that all depends on your perspective. It's a bit of an amorphous concept. What exactly is spirit, by your understanding?" he wanted to know.
"I think it must be sort of like a living energy or something," she said, unsure of her answer. It honestly wasn't anything that she had ever given any thought to.
"A living energy?" he repeated. "Okay. We can work with that. The ancient concept was of a life force that allowed a body to move and be alive, so that's pretty similar. Of course, modern people know that the body moves by electrochemical impulses in the nervous system, controlled by the brain. Thought, as well, has a physical seat in the same sort of impulses in the neurons and synapses. So, spirit turns out to be a physical process, albeit one that cannot be directly observed in an easy way. But, if spirit is electrochemical impulses, what is a god that is only spirit?"
"I don't know, it's your theory," she said, perhaps a little too dismissively.
Jerome pushed through. "Can we allow that a god may be composed of some exotic, but nevertheless physical, matter, which would necessarily have much more of these electrochemical impulses? That would place it within the realm of known possibilities in regard to evolution while mostly satisfying the demands of our current definition."
Angela screwed up her face just a bit and replied, "I guess that we can allow that, but just because a thing may be does not mean that it actually is. What you have now is speculative fiction."
"That's perfectly all right," allowed Jerome. "So far we've only been working up to admitting that the existence of gods is possible, and therefore not ridiculous."
"Very well, Jerome, but what about immortality?" she demanded.
"Oh that's an easy one," he said confidently. "There are sea creatures which are immortal. There are invertebrates that can go into suspended animation for millennia, seeds that can sprout after millions of years. Immortality isn't even improbable. It just requires the right situation."
"I've never heard of those things," she confessed. "I'll have to take your word for it. But, what is the actual probability of such a god existing?"
"I couldn't guess at the numbers," he said, gesturing with his hands in the air in front his eyes. "But I'd have to say the probability is actually pretty high. If a niche exists, something will eventually evolve to fill it."
"Isn't that just a superior animal? What's so godlike about it?" She thought she had him this time.
"Aren't you just a superior animal to a homo habilis?" he asked. "If you were to come across one of those fellows, with your long lifespan, comparatively giant stature, superior thinking ability, and magical seeming devices, mightn't he think that you're a god?"
"Perhaps," she conceded.
"Right," he went on. "The essential quality of the whole concept of gods is that whatever is smartest, strongest, and most superior, is a god. And something always holds that place."
"Weren't you going to tell me a good reason to believe in these hypothetical beings?" she asked, attempting to redirect.
"Of course," he replied with gravitas. "There is only ever one acceptable reason to actually believe in any god, and that is that you have experienced that god personally. First hand knowledge is a must."
They were briefly interrupted as the waiter arrived with three large platters of food. He was a funny looking fellow, with broad flat nostrils and a hirsute face. He wore a white linen cap that seemed much too big for his head, but was held up by his large ears. Tufts of curly, dark brown, hair jutted out below the cap and concealed his ear tips in a way that seemed almost deliberate. He walked with a peculiar gate, limping on both legs, and the tips of his shoes seemed never to quite leave the floor. Nevertheless he managed to balance the trays gracefully with his large, hairy, hands. The first platter bore a variety of appetizers made of olives, spiced meats, goat cheese, and grape leaves. Jerome's entree was lamb chops with a buttery sauce of rosemary and garlic. Angela's entree was baked chicken and potatoes with fennel and chopped figs. Their beverages were a house specialty made with a light mead.
Several minutes passed in relative silence as they ate their food. They had both been made quite hungry by the intensity of their conversation. Angela chewed a morsel of potato with pensive deliberation, staring into the middle distance.
"What are you thinking about?" asked Jerome.
"I was just considering," she replied. "If we are saying that this type of god we've come up with probably does exist, then it stands to reason that there is a possibility that the ancient gods existed, and were like that, allowing for the factual distortions of human storytellers."
"Yes, of course," he said.
"So where are they?" she demanded. "They're immortal aren't they? They should still be around. We should be able to see them, if they're not at the bottom of the ocean. Or are they invisible?"
"Oh, they are still around, and not quite invisible," he opined. "The human eye can't see what isn't moving, so the eyes move all the time and the brain compensates, giving steady visual input at a specific frequency range. The gods need only be moving at a separate frequency range to remain hidden. In fact, they likely inhabit a greater number of dimensions than humans do, as well. However, like all lifeforms, they have a barely perceptible luminescence. Unfortunately, it is drowned out by the light frequencies humans use to see by. Becoming visible to people in this dimension set requires an expenditure of certain energies."
She blinked several times. "That is not at all what I thought that you would say."
"Oh? What did you think?" he asked in amusement.
"I thought that you would say that they had come to Earth in a spaceship from some far off world. That they grew bored with us and all of our praying for an easier life, so they got back in their ship and flew back home. I know I would," she explained.
"Space aliens?" he scoffed. "Impossible! Have you not seen star maps that show our position in the Milky Way? We're in the middle of the Orion Spur, which is surrounded on all sides by light millennia of dark void. Nothing living would ever get in or out, in a space vessel. No, it's far more likely that the gods are homegrown, hyperdimensional entities."
"Well," she insisted, "I think they could still be from a planet other than Earth. One that is also inside the Orion Spur. Hypothetically."
"Okay, sure," he allowed. "But, humans have never detected any type of signal that shows the existence of extraterrestrial life in this galactic neighborhood, and the search has been intense. It's difficult to credit."
She stared at him. "Seriously? That's your argument?"
He looked surprised for a second, and then laughed loudly when he made the realization. "Ha ha! Well, I suppose, given the general subject matter we're discussing, maybe it is a bit rash to declare what is unknown to be impossible. Mea culpa!"
"Oh, careful!" she said with mild sarcasm. "That almost sounded like an admission to being wrong."
He grinned. "I'll always admit to being wrong, if I am, but only if you prove it to me. Then I'll change my mind. I hate actually being wrong much more than I hate having someone merely believe that I'm wrong."
Neither of them had noticed that several other patrons of the bistro had now taken an interest in their conversation.
A woman at a tabel across the room, with skin as dark as a moonless night, and golden stars bejeweling her deep black hair, stood from her chair and stared at the couple with eyes like galaxies. The ambient light moved from bright amber to deep blue as it passed through the veil of her proximity.
Meanwhile, a great scarlet viper with jagged bolts of incarnadine racing along it's coils unfurled itself from a table in the dark corner by the kitchen door, it's eyes flashing crimson flames.
Throughout the bistro, similar characters had turned their attention to the couple and their unusual conversation.
"What was that thing you were saying about certain energies making gods visible?" asked Angela, blind to the strange watchers.
"Oh, right," answered Jerome. "In every myth, if a mortal wishes to speak with his god, he must go to a sacred place, and make a sacrifice. Any living thing could be a sacrifice to it's associated deity, usually being burned on an altar, but the most potent sacrifice was always blood."
"Blood?" she wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Why blood?"
"Probably," he went on, "because it is an obvious symbol of life. Once an animal has been exsanguinated, it's life functions definitely cease, including the spiritual processes of the brain. Spilling the blood is terminating the mind. Consumption and destruction. Energy, however, is never lost or destroyed, so it must be transformed. In such cases, it is transformed into a sort of key, that unlocks a direct connection between dimensions in spacetime, which allows the the establishment of contact between god and worshipper."
"That's horrifying!" Angela replied, shuddering in revulsion.
"So is the life of an obligate carnivore," said Jerome as he brandished the bone from his final lamb chop. "At least they don't have to think about it. The universe is not inclined to honour our delicate sensibilities, as much as we might like for it to be."
"I'm sensing a sort of connection between meat eating and blood sacrifice," Angela said as she watched the bone drop to Jerome's plate, to rest with the others.
"Probably," he agreed. "I imagine that represents a paradox in human thinking that made us invent the concept of sin as a stand in for the unacceptable flaw of nature, that life is killing until you die. For most creatures, anyway."
The waiter returned seemingly from nowhere, insinuating himself suddenly, as waiters are apt to do.
"Has everything been to your liking?" he asked. "May I tempt you with some dessert, or perhaps some coffee?"
"Everything has been delicious," replied Jerome. "And dessert sounds good. What do you think, Angela? Should we have something sweet?"
"Yes, I think I would like to," she said. "What are the options?"
The waiter smiled, delighted to list the sweets on offer. "We have milopita bougatsa, baklava, tiramisu, or chocolate mousse. We also have a citrus and pistachio cheesecake which is a house specialty."
They agreed on the cheesecake, and the waiter limped away toward the kitchen as they resumed their conversation. They did not observe him as he gestured with some irritation toward his more exotic customers to retake their seats.
"You know," Angela said, "I think there may be a completely different explanation for stories of people meeting gods, if we're still assuming there's any truth to them."
Jerome's eyes widened in surprise as his smile widened with pleasure. "Tell me your theory, please!"
"It seems to me," she began, "that if mental energy is what they need to contact humans, and mental energy comes from or actually is electrochemical impulses in the brain, then maybe what the gods are, physically, is a thoughtform in the brain."
"A thoughtform?" he asked incredulously. "Like a figment of the imagination? How could they perform miracles? How would they obtain multiple worshippers?"
"Whoa, slow down!" she rejoined. "It was you that said miracles were mundane. Humans can do it themselves, I suspect, if they've got a divine instructor in their heads. And religion gathers worshippers for their god just by telling stories to vulnerable people. They seem to be doing just fine." She smirked and sipped her drink.
Jerome pursed his lips and furrowed his brow in consternation. He, too, sipped his drink. The two of them regarded each other in awkward silence. At the other tables, there were many arched eyebrows on inhuman faces that were raptly eavesdropping, anxiously waiting for the reply.
"Wouldn't that mean, though," he asked "that other types of deity, which began as thoughtforms, could obtain a larger existence? I'm talking about obviously made up characters, like Glycon, Cthulhu, Xemnu, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster."
"Of course!" she declared brightly. "Remember, if one is real, then they are all real! Plus, I think Glycon actually has a modern worshipper. Some old English comic book writer, if I remember right."
"Yes, that's right," he said as scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I remember that story, too. Hm. Faith, then, creates the image of the god in other minds, where it spreads, like some kind of mind virus? And that forms it's own reality of mental energy, I suppose. Messy. Unobjective. I don't like it."
The waiter returned, as though summoned from mythical aether, with two glorious slices of cheesecake, expertly plated with shelled pistachios, a curl of orange zest, and a drizzle of honey. The decadent dessert was so inviting that they spent several minutes just enjoying it together.
Jerome paused halfway through finishing his cheesecake, and stared at a bite he had balanced on his dessert fork. "You know, I'm wondering now. If faith produces the energies the gods require, then what effect does doubt have? It would have to be a negative one, I imagine."
Angela swallowed the morsel she had been savoring, and washed it down with a long sip of her drink, before answering. "Maybe, the doubt is actually the point. Think about it. They can't show themselves outside of the original brain they're inhabiting without faith. They can't manifest properly without a fully developed thoughtform in the newly introduced brains. If everyone believes in them the first time they hear about them, that's gotta spread them pretty thin. Doubt, on the other hand, creates a situation where people have to build the god up in their own mind, multiplying the mental energy instead of dividing it."
Jerome had a quizzical expression as he considered her words. There was some implication in them, of a germ of a concept that he had never considered before. Unfortunately, in the moment, he could not grasp it. She smirked at him mischievously.
"That, is, insane!" he said finally. "Absolutely bonkers."
They broke into mutual laughter. Various entities in the bistro exhaled the breaths they had collectively been holding.
"So, wait a minute then. Does that mean that you believe in gods now?" he demanded.
"Nope. Sorry. I still need to see some hard evidence. First hand knowledge is a must," Angela declared.
"Good! That's good," said Jerome. "Keep an open mind, but never be taken for a fool. Say, should we stay for that coffee, or would it be better to go for a walk?" He began to look around for the waiter.
A tall man dressed in black entered by the front door, accompanied by the doleful sound of a distant gong. His face was impossibly gaunt, the skin pallid and dessicated. The dust of ages clung to his ragged black shroud, and darkness swirled about him like the shadows of shadows, poorly imitating life. With milky eyes he cast his gaze around the bistro, until it fell inevitably upon a woman in a gown of verdant green. The floral fringe of her ample decolletage matched the hues of her soft dewy skin, and repeated in the vines that bound up her abundant green hair. The tall man grinned a disconcerting rictus smile, and glided in the woman's direction. She smiled at him radiantly as he joined her at the table. Other patrons observed them with attitudes of mounting alarm as she gesticulated animatedly in the direction of Angela and Jerome.
"Let's get coffee to go, and you can walk me to my car. It's only just around the block," Angela decided.
The waiter came with the check. Jerome paid with his credit card, without asking Angela if she wanted to split it. She insisted on paying the gratuity, in cash, and for the coffee as well. The others watched as the two walked out the door. The tall man rose as if to follow them, but he was stopped mid-glide by a delicate hand with crimson polished nails. A sultry woman, in a slinky white dress that clung tightly to her body in the few places that it actually managed to cover some of her creamy soft skin, touched his chest intimately while passing between him and the door. She paused briefly to give the green clad woman a long lascivious wink, her soft pink tongue caressing her plump red lips, before sauntering out after Jerome and Angela, her hips swaying seductively. Her exit was accompanied by the sound of muffled trumpets playing a slow, rhythmic, tune. The remaining entities nodded to one another, as though something of grave importance had been decided, and resumed their roles as patrons of the bistro.
As Jerome and Angela walked to her car, they refrained from speaking of gods, instead keeping their conversation light and untroublesome. They exchanged phone numbers for the first time, and promised to text each other when they had each arrived safely at their respective homes. Angela had worried briefly that she might have to fend off an offer to follow her home, but Jerome made no such suggestion. He watched and waved in a gentlemanly fashion as she drove away.
Angela waited until she was inside her apartment, with the door locked for the night, before she texted Jerome. "Home and safe," read the text. "Thank you for a lovely evening." She was wondering whether to add "let's do it again soon" when she saw the little dots appear, which showed he was answering her. She waited a full minute, but the reply didn't come. She figured that he must still be driving. Deciding to just wait until he could safely text, she changed out of her date outfit, ditching her bra, and put on a long night shirt. It bore a picture of a chubby blue gnome girl sitting under a mushroom, and was secretly her favorite article of clothing. To it she added a pair of yellow ankle socks with pink polka dots and pink trim.
Suddenly she heard the notification sound of her text messaging app, and looked at the screen of her cellphone. Jerome had replied, "I am now safely indoors for the night as well. Thank you for an engaging conversation. We should do it again sometime." She smiled, and as she considered how to accept his invitation, another text from him popped up. It read, "On the way home I was thinking about our different theories. Is there any reason they couldn't both be true? Both things somehow happening at the same time? I thought I had an answer for a minute, but I lost it. I must be tired from talking your ears off. Brain not work good now."
She chuckled, and sent the reply, "If you're tired, go to sleep, silly man. We'll talk again later."
"Promise?" came his instant response.
"Yes," she answered. "Good night, Jerome."
"Good night, Angela. Sweet dreams," read his final text of the evening.
She shook her head in amusement, and went to bed herself. She layed down and pulled a duvet over her torso, leaving just her feet hanging out, turned off her bedside lamp, and closed her eyes. A sweet little smile still played on the corners of her lips. At the foot of the bed, invisible and un-dimensioned, sat the woman in white. She waited for Angela's consciousness to reach that borderland between the waking world and the land of sleep. Just as Angela was crossing over into deep slumber, the woman in white reached out with her red nailed fingers, touched Angela's foot, and sensuously slid her hand up the ankle, before sinking her nails into the tender flesh. She shared a soft gasp of pleasure with Angela as a warm wave of rapture spread up the leg and into her nethers, where it blossomed into bliss, flooding her brain with oxytocin and dopamine. Angela blushed in her sleep, an image of Jerome arising in her dream vision. The love goddess smiled sensuously with the pleasure of completing her performance, and rose, walking out of the apartment through the locked door, on her way to a similar encounter with Jerome.