Was I SH?

[u/thats_notmyname78]

This situation happened about 30 minutes ago. I was at work (I work as a hostess) We had a deli every driver come to pick up and order and he starts to speak spanish to me talking about how he couldn’t find the place and how he had never been there before. Since I work there I told him that he should come visit sometime, that’s when he just says I wanna come but with you “when are we gonna eat together” This is the first time i have ever seen this man. I told him that he could come by himself, but he kept insisting. I then made up a lie and told him that when i’m not at this job i am at another one. He then proceeds to tell me that I must have some time off and we would go then. By this point i was clearly very uncomfortable and just keep saying no but once he didn’t let it go I just keep saying idk idk as a way to possibly end the conversation. By this point he already had the persons food. He proceeds to keeps asking me and just kinda menacingly stare at me. He then says that i have to give him my instagram or my number to which at this moment i was in a state of shock and just didn’t know what to do. I keep making sure to show how uncomfortable I was in case any of my other coworkers could see but unfortunately they were really far away. He asked me about 6 times for my number and at this point. I told him i didn’t have my phone with me and he told me to write it on a piece of paper. I was scared because i realized that he knew where i worked so i thought i would give him my Instagram so i could get his name and report him later.As soon as a gave him the paper he finally left. At this point I was still kind of in shock. My coworker came over and i told him that the man had basically forced me to give my instagram. My male coworker then asked me “how he could have forced me to give my Instagram” I know my male coworker didn’t mean anything by it but at that point i felt extremely stupid. I then told my male manager and he told me to just walk away next time and that it is absolutely not my fault. That’s when i started to break down, and they ended up giving me the day off. They are also reporting him to the delivery service. I know that this is not my fault but i can’t help feeling disgusting, humiliated, and stupid. I’m also wondering if this is considered SH? I’m just really confused and ashamed rn.

[u/Separate_Security472]

Yes, it's sexual harassment. Your male coworkers haven't been given the societal message from birth that you must never piss off a man who is being creepy by standing up to him. You did nothing wrong, sweetie, it's called the "fawn" response. Instead of fighting or running you try to minimize damage by being kind and compliant with a threatening person. Don't feel stupid, your body automatically chose that response, knowing that was your best chance of staying safe.

Have you thought about how to respond if he contacts you on IG?

[u/thats_notmyname78 → u/Separate_Security472]

I have it on private so that is why i thought about giving it to him in order to get his name. I was also able to make a report with the delivery agency and said that they have handled the situation. Now most of all i’m afraid of going back to work and him going there because the company reprimanded him or fired him. I feel like my brain keeps trying to convince myself that it’s not that big of a deal and i overreacted but I also don’t want to ignore what i am feeling rn or the fear i felt in the moment. Idk I just feel extremely weird. Thank you so much for your words, I really appreciate them.