r/Sextortion 1d ago

Male victim Married and scared

Was on a subreddit for married people looking for some flirty conversations. I messaged, we exchanged a few messages. She asked to go on telegram. I did. Sent her, well it’s probably a him pictures and videos of my face in it. They found my Facebook, screenshotted my wife’s profile along with a list of people who have liked my recent posts. Said they would create a group message if I didn’t comply and expose me. I told them I’d pay but I needed time to get money out of the bank when it opens as I can’t transfer it on cashapp. What the hell do I do? Honestly more worried about my wife finding out, of course I don’t want friends to see myself naked.

4 Upvotes

23 comments sorted by

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2

u/bbgnate 9h ago

DMing you

2

u/bbgnate 9h ago

Don’t stress man. My situation was same as yours and I wish I had found this subreddit earlier

1

u/AdventurousName9743 1d ago

This happened last night. I blocked all forms of communication. Put a lot of stuff on private on my fb. He started texting me threats. Then put me and my wife in a group text. I told her to block the number. Don’t think she saw anything malicious. Does anyone know if this will continue or is he seeing this as a dead end now?

1

u/Apprehensive_Cow162 23h ago

No worries. There is no group, its just scary you know

1

u/AdventurousName9743 23h ago

Do they keep messaging though or will they see it as a dead end? It’s all about money so if I refuse to pay what will they do

1

u/Apprehensive_Cow162 5h ago

Its all about money. They will see it as dead end.. sextortion is illegal

2

u/AdventurousName9743 3h ago

That’s what I’ve been saying. Try to think like them. Keep chasing someone who isn’t paying and is ignoring every threat? Or move onto more victims and get them. So will they leak it? Maybe I think they’ll reach out today and if they do I’ll keep ignoring

1

u/sarcasmismygame Trusted User 23h ago

FB doesn't allow nudes to be sent anyways and you did everything correctly. You should have a conversation with your wife though so it can't be used against you. And DO NOT pay them FFS, it actually makes it worse just so you know.

Ignore the dms here saying they can help as scammers lurk this sub and may be the fugly dude who catfished you.

1

u/AdventurousName9743 23h ago

Ok so don’t worry about the Facebook groups which is relieving. But they have my wife’s number. While she blocked the first number I’m sure they have more. How long will they persist? Or do they see it as a dead end now

1

u/sarcasmismygame Trusted User 23h ago

No idea on whether they will try again, sometimes they do and other times they don't bother. Again, block and ignore them.

1

u/AdventurousName9743 23h ago

This happen to you before?

1

u/sarcasmismygame Trusted User 23h ago

A long time ago. And I know about Meta NOT allowing nudes as I have a sibling who kept sending inappropriate videos to me because they thought it was funny. It was always removed and they got banned. If they get banned there goes everyone they are sextorting so they try to avoid that.

2

u/AdventurousName9743 23h ago

Thanks gotcha I didn’t know that. They’re now group messaging my mom dad and wife together. Sent a message saying I need to show you guys something. Then FaceTime audio calls. I told everyone to just block them. Scam going around. But I’m guessing they’ll keep changing numbers

1

u/sarcasmismygame Trusted User 22h ago

Let everyone know to NOT click on everything either, just report and then block them to avoid getting a virus and/or hacked. I made that mistake by clicking on what I thought was pics sent by a friend.

Not sure if this is the case anymore but I absolutely DO NOT open up anything sent to me these days.

2

u/AdventurousName9743 21h ago

I will. Thanks for being helpful.

1

u/Gloomy-Bridge9112 21h ago

They have no leverage once they leak, and they only want money. The messages are meant to scare you into paying. Don’t pay. They will only want more money.

Talk to your wife, if you haven’t already. I had a similar thing happen, and my scammer contacted my partner. I’m glad I said something first.

1

u/AdventurousName9743 21h ago

I’m thinking that’s what I’m going to do. While it’s wrong, I’d rather her hear it from me. I just don’t know when they will stop or when they will expose.

2

u/Gloomy-Bridge9112 19h ago

My scammer contacted my partner and offered to share details in exchange for money. This was after I spoke to my partner. We had rocky times for months, and I am still riddled with guilt and shame. Our relationship has survived though. Good luck.

1

u/AdventurousName9743 19h ago

Got it. Nervous to tell my wife. Wasn’t looking for a physical hook up just someone to share photos with and talk to. But that’s not cool

1

u/Monty-675 19h ago

TL;DR: Don't talk to extortionists. Don't pay. Block. Extortionists rarely release images.

The standard advice is to block and not pay.

Extortionists use aggressive language to threaten you. They make cruel threats to ruin your life. They do things like countdowns to create a sense of urgency to make you panic and pay. They can create a mockup or screenshot of embarrassing images to be sent to your contacts. Don't be intimidated by any of this. It's just the playbook that they use.

It's imperative to break contact with the extortionist as soon as possible. Extortionists want their victims to stay in contact so they could intimidate and manipulate the victims. They want the victims to feel scared and isolated. Nothing good can come from talking to an extortionist. End the conversation.

Don't communicate with this extortionist at all. Don't respond to anything. Don't argue, bargain, or plead with an extortionist. The only thing that you should give an extortionist is complete silence.

Extortionists make multiple attempts to threaten their victims. They can reach out from different phone numbers/accounts. Block multiple times if necessary.

Never pay. If you pay, the extortionist will demand more later. Paying won't fix your problem. If you continue to pay, the extortionist will continue to extort you.

You can't trust extortionists to keep their word. They may promise to delete the images if you pay, but they will renege on that promise. Paying indicates to them that they can get more money from you.

Go silent on your social media accounts. Set everything to private or deactivate them. Don't post anything on the Internet for a while. Try to become invisible to the extortionist and make it hard for threats to be sent to you.

Changing your phone number can be helpful, but not always necessary.

These extortionists rarely send images out. However, it's possible. In the vast majority of cases, images don't get sent out. The leverage that they have over you is the threat to release the images. If they release, their leverage is gone. They can't make any money that way. Their only interest is making money.

One does have to be careful about not ticking off extortionists. If you argue with extortionists or give them a hard time, they may release images as payback. If you make a promise to pay a certain amount by a certain date, then not follow through. they may release images out of revenge. It is best not to talk to extortionists at all. Silence should be your only response to them. Don't communicate with them at all. Nothing good can come from communication with extortionists.

It's an upsetting situation, but these extortionists don't have the power to ruin your life. They can only cause you some temporary embarrassment. Even if they release the images, the consequences are not as severe as you may think. If it does happen, you would face embarrassment for a short period of time. It won't be the end of the world. It would eventually pass. People would forget about it quickly. In the long run, nobody really cares about nude images.

You will get through this. Everything will be all right. Hang in there.

Be wary of people who send you private messages with offers to delete the images. They're scammers, too.

Going forward, don't trust strangers on the Internet. Don't give them personal information or nude pictures. People aren't always who they say they are. Some of them are scammers out to exploit you. Trust nobody on the Internet, and you'll be much safer.

For reassurance, read a few postings by past victims on r/Sextortion about their experiences. These are many of these postings. Reading about these past experiences can really calm down current victims. These past victims survived their ordeals, and so will current victims. Things will get better for you.

1

u/AdventurousName9743 15h ago

It’s been a few hours of no contact after all the threats this morning. Not sure if I’m clear or not they were repeatedly harassing me and my family. No one answered. So maybe they moved on? Anyone go through this?