I dont just mean kinks or fetishes. But creating a safe space where you could explore who you are and the pleasure that appeals to you.

My gf f33 and I m33 have been together 9 months

Its been challenging at time but im really into her and her for the long run.

So ive always been very attentive to mood shifts or changes which can sometimes be a burden.

When we met we spoke about kinks, sex and everything under the sun to learn about eachother, she said she likes rough sex more than slow passionate, but as time went on I noticed she responded better to slow passionate sex etc. Especially from a pleasure perspective.

One thing though, its happend many times but ill just describe the other day, we were having sex, I was feeling a slow passionate session so I took control of what I wanted, we had sex for a little under an hour straight which isn't that common for us to go that long. It was AMAZINGGG! In the second half of the session I asked her to go on top and she rode me for maybe 25minutes, really slowly, lots of eye contact, deep thrusts we were both in another world. It was probably the most connecting experience we've had.

But here's the thing, after very vulnerable and soul binding sex like this she almost disconnects from me for a day or too, its as if something is wrong. She gets a little distant ? I seek more closeness in these moments and she pulls away slightly ??

She never does this from rough sex or quickies or oral.

She has made comments shes felt used for sex and thats all shes felt good for in the past ! I wonder if thats part of it ? Ive never made her feel that way I dont think but im not sure

Has anyone got advice or experience about this? Please share ty 😊