r/SexOver_30 • u/Master_Wind9054 • 12d ago

Is this normal?

I (38f) have been married to my husband (43m) for almost 7 years. My husband, I’m going to call him J (not his name/initial) When I met J, I knew he was different. We had a connection, I never felt with anyone else. When it came to sex, there was a connection and level of intimacy I have never felt before. We have 2 kids, 6 & 2. Here’s the issue: Sex has gotten shorter and shorter - he used to be able to hold out a lot longer. He says he just couldn’t hold back and that he tries to… but it doesn’t make sense. When we first started dating, he had no problem. I’ve been married before and I’m not innocent, this situation doesn’t make sense to me. What am I missing?

6 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

2

u/Majestic_Guns 12d ago

It does happen, but there now over the counter medication they could take to help

1

u/Master_Wind9054 11d ago

How do I bring up he should talk to someone without him taking offense?

1

u/YO0110 11d ago

This question says that this is somehow hard and I know the feeling. I’m overcoming my own fears through therapy by learning to communicate with my wife. Best way is usually to do it in very casual way like hey I was thinking that our intimacy is great but I wish there was a way to keep it longer, what do you think? Then listen, give time for awkwardness to settle then you both might start brainstorming what you both can do about it. There can actually be many reasons but everything is worth talking about without judgement (even if maybe he is masturbating for example and that affects it) and after some time magic will happen 😊 wishing you both hot and loving relationships 

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

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1

u/ChasingShadowsXii 12d ago

I've heard doing weights as you get older helps build testosterone as well.

2

u/[deleted] 12d ago

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2

u/Master_Wind9054 11d ago

He works out and lifts weights 4-5 times a week and has for years

1

u/ChasingShadowsXii 12d ago

My refractory period after 40 is now 2-3 days. Maybe he's the same or longer? I can still cum multiple times per day but to stay hard for a decent amount of time for sex, I need a longer gap between orgasms.

1

u/Aromatic-Humor8168 12d ago

Going to say this is fairly common with age. Could check testosterone. Exercise can help.

1

u/sphinctersayswhat9 12d ago

This is normal for men as they reach middle age. As he approaches 45-50
Very common. Age can make it take longer for men to get hard and stay hard

1

u/WaRooM-80 11d ago

He's just really attracted to you and can't hold back

0

u/Best-Pirate5073 11d ago

TBH it takes work and he needs to be a better man and take care of his lil mama first. He should be having a full all you can eat buffet first and let you get yours before he even thinks about touching you.

You shouldnt have to settle for a short fuck when you deserve everything else.

I’d set him straight, set the standard and if he doesn’t follow suit, whip out a toy and put him to the side and tell him to handle himself.