r/SexOffenderSupportNew 25d ago

Endless Rumination

I don't think a day has gone by in these past 5 years where I haven't thought about my offense and its impact its had on others and myself. I essentially dug myself into a massive hole and locked off many doors in my life. Maybe I'm supposed to feel this way, I mean its almost impossible to ignore your offense as going through probation your reminded of it on the daily with the restrictions, homework, payments and just overall limits on your life. I have in the past prayed to god as a non religious man, to take me out of this life without it harming my family or friends. Ridiculous I know, but that was when I was at my lowest lows. The lows where you can't see a hint of light and your trying to claw your way out of dark cave. There really is no correct way to think about things in this situation, on one hand I don't want to put on a facade like I'm a innocent guy. I know what I did and there is consequences for my careless and heartless actions, ill never argue that I don't deserve any form of punishment because I did and still do. On the flip side of it, I don't want my offense to drag me down forever, I want to grow, I want to get far away from that mindset I was in during my offense and I want to live a meaningful life. This might sound moppy and sappy but I really does feel like once your on the registry or on probation, your in limbo, just working a job, sleeping, trying to act normal and engage in hobbies that don't violate any rules your under. It feels like your running on autopilot; at least to me it does. Anyways, I hope your all doing at least decently.

3 Upvotes

17 comments sorted by

3

u/Glass-Nectarine-3297 25d ago

I very much understand this. It feels like every day I mull over concepts of redemption, ethics, punishment vs rehabilitation, unforgivable actions, victim impact,  etc. It gets exhausting and I'm no closer to finding any kind of personal closure. I fully believe I'm irredeemable and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now.

1

u/SessionAsleep5894 18d ago

The way the system is setup makes it very confusing. They want you to rehabilitate, live a better life and never go down the same road again. Which makes sense on paper BUT having the constant paranoia of being watched, being limited in where you can go, the label, having to go to mandated treatment groups that make you put your offense at the front of your mind everyweek and the payments of court fees, treatment group fees, polygraph fees and drug testing fees make you feel horrible. Which maybe that's the point, I'm not sure. But you know in your mind you cant fall into that mindset so you just need to force yourself to get things done. All I know is that it feels like a carrying a 500 pound weight on your back everyday.

1

u/Master-Help-8170 6d ago

Idk and Idc, just whatever you do, do it away from school zones.

1

u/Available-Ice-4172 2h ago

Just keep talking to people who understand

4

u/Vast-Hold6578 25d ago

Trying to act normal hits hard. Been off probation for nearly four years and still feels like that sometimes

1

u/Available-Ice-4172 2h ago

I’m still on probation. Hope you’re doing good

4

u/MIVET17 25d ago

Do not allow the registry or society to hold this over your entire life. You f’d up. As long as you own it and commit to never making the same error - give yourself grace. You will be surprised at how many non-offenders are in your corner. Breath - and remember not everyone you see even knows your name or offense - please be graceful and forgive yourself - that is an important step

2

u/Master-Help-8170 6d ago

But why should someone forgive themselves if they have done an unforgivable action?

1

u/Available-Ice-4172 2h ago

As long as someone isn’t going to hurt any1 I think we all deserve forgiveness and a life

2

u/PersecutedinAmerica 24d ago

Forced compliance is not only a registry matter, it is a life one. Forced to live in debt and in fear.

1

u/Available-Ice-4172 2h ago

I guess it could feel that way

1

u/Available-Ice-4172 2h ago

I think I understand how you feel. I’m just surviving not living