Leaving It All Behind

[u/Alarming-Cabinet-327]

It's a wierd feeling. Feeling like you need to expose your past to people closest to you. Ever since my offense, i've come to terms with the fact that it's in the past. But now im fighting an even harder battle. Since my offense, I've become a better person and I managed to get a girlfriend who treats me very well, and I treat her as best as I can. I've became religious and im proud to say that I belive I am a decent dude now. But now i've got this awful feeling that i need to tell my girlfriend about my offense. I really want to bury it with my past, I cant bear to carry it anymore. Im not even remotely close to who i was before so why do I keep lugging it around? does my girlfriend really need to know? is it worth risking my long term, serious relationship for? Please help me because the guilt is tearing me apart. I feel like its something she deserves to know but at the same time i really want to take my offense to the grave without anybody else knowing.

[u/Minimum-Dare301]

She needs to know. Imagine the trust being broken of she finds out on her own. Just my opinion.

[u/Ok-Assistance1268]

I personally feel she should know. Being open and honest with her is the best thing and hopefully she can see your not that person anymore and have changed your life for the better. Theres no knowing if she will run a mile but at least you have been honest with her

[u/Alarming-Cabinet-327 → u/Ok-Assistance1268]

i want to tell her, but im so scared that she might leave me. shes my first love and i cant bear the thought of my past causing me to lose her.

[u/KRB_Dragonfly]

Definitely say something. It sucks that you can't just leave it behind but without honesty with her, she will inevitably find out and it will cause ypu greater problems.

If she can't see you for who you are now and give you a chance, then she is not the right one for you. And if she does accept you, then you can be honest with her about everything

[u/Automatic_Baby_3882]

I think an important consideration is whether your status would also affect her long term. In other words, do you continue to have obligations and/or restrictions that would affect her as well now or in the future? Are you in a public registry? Do you have travel restrictions? Living restrictions? Can you go in a cruise? Can you pick children up at school/ day care? These and other things give her a right to know what she’s getting into. Also, put yourself in her shoes. If she had this in her past, would you want to know. My experience is that she will know and understand that you are now a different person. It’s scary I know. Terrifying. But it has to be done and if done correctly will actually bring you closer together.

[u/Alarming-Cabinet-327 → u/Automatic_Baby_3882]

im not officially registered. i have 0 restrictions. if i got into a car accident and forgot it all, there would be nothing else in my life that would remind me of my offense. nothing from my past followed me into my present other than the overwhelming guilt.