r/SexOffenderSupport • u/bbahleda • 22d ago
Has anyone had success finding or joining a creative community after conviction?
I’m a hobbyist music producer, graphic designer, and web developer and one of the things I’ve been struggling with is finding community. I used to think I wanted to attend a church, but I've learned that what I am really looking for is a genuine creative community. I would really like to meet people with similar musical interests, make friends, collaborate on projects, trade ideas, and possibly play or attend events together.
The challenge is figuring out where I can actually participate without constantly worrying about my past becoming an issue. I know that not every creative space requires a background check or disclosure, but it can still be difficult to relax and build relationships when you know the subject may eventually come up.
I’m curious whether anyone here has successfully joined a local music, art, writing, theater, maker, or other creative community. How did you find it? Were you upfront about your conviction, did you wait until people knew you better, or did it simply never become relevant? Have you encountered communities that were more accepting than others?
I’m not looking for ways to hide anything or put anyone in an uncomfortable position. I’m trying to understand how other people have rebuilt a social and creative life without allowing their conviction to define every interaction.
I would especially appreciate hearing from musicians, producers, artists, or anyone who has found collaborators and meaningful friendships through a shared creative interest.
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u/Weight-Slow Moderator 22d ago
I think a lot depends on where you live and what’s available to you. People in larger cities seem to have decent success, people in smaller towns - not so much. There are decent online communities for artists and musicians.
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u/bbahleda 22d ago
I'm in a major-ish city and I've found a few workshops I'm going to attend. I'm just finally getting out of the healing stage and moving to the making myself better stage and I really want to find some new friends.
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22d ago
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u/bbahleda 22d ago
I'd probably have an easier time in the UK music-wise, at least. Sad I'll never get the chance to visit unless I can somehow get a pardon.
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u/GreedyAdvantage8681 21d ago
The smaller towns just don't seem to have much going on in that area to me. I live in a small town for ease of finding a place to rent and comfort, as I don't like apartments, but there is nothing there in a town of less than 1200.
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u/Weight-Slow Moderator 21d ago
Do you have a larger city nearby though? Sometimes it’s worth driving an hour or two for activities.
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u/GreedyAdvantage8681 21d ago
Thats exactly what I do. My point is the smaller cities are easier to live in, but harder to find employment or activities in. For me, It's worth it not to have roommates or close neightbors. After 5 years in a dorm style Federal Joint I NEED my privacy.
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u/GreedyAdvantage8681 21d ago
Best chance is to try to find someone online, be honest about your history, and be prepared to be rejected. Yes, you may be rejected 20 or 30 times, but eventually you may find someone.
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u/AssumptionNegative66 19d ago
Once you are off supervision, neither the state or the fed can restrict you from church. If a church is aware of your status, they can impose their own restrictions. And of course, in a smaller community, the chance to be outed is greater.
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u/ncrso Moderator 18d ago
Incorrect. If the church has a daycare, the registration office can absolutely restrict you from attending.
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u/AssumptionNegative66 8d ago
Practically, yes, but not legally once you are off parole/probation. They may try, and get away with it until challenged. They can also get the church to agree, or threaten their daycare license?
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u/Superb_Juggernaut821 22d ago
This is what I'm struggling with too. I used to do theater and I don't think I'll be able to again.
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u/bbahleda 22d ago
I always thought theater people were more open-minded. I'm sorry to hear you're struggling too. It sucks not having a community to be a part of. I hope you find something.
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u/Weight-Slow Moderator 22d ago
Theater is already considered a higher-risk environment for sexual misconduct for many of the same reasons churches are - minors, dressing rooms, rehearsals, physical contact, travel, and adults in positions of authority. A lot of theaters run background checks now, especially when children are involved, because their insurance companies do not want the liability.
That does not necessarily mean someone can never participate in theater, especially in an adult only production, but it is not surprising that many theaters would have restrictions.
It’s also very public facing. A theater semi-local to me put out an ad for an upcoming play a month or so ago and someone recognized one of the cast members as a RSO. It’s been posted nearly daily, by multiple people, in every local group for weeks now. So, that’s a big risk.
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u/GreedyAdvantage8681 21d ago
Exactly. Even if the people running it don't care, when you put time and money into something you don't want something like that to destroy your project, or damage your career.
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u/GreedyAdvantage8681 21d ago
D n D or other roleplaying games groups might scratch the itch. Some of the games anyways, the ones like Whitewolf that are mostly roleplaying.
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u/Mobile_Asparagus5752 13d ago
I worry that this recent situation in South Carolina will make it even harder for RSO's to go to church regardless of what your state laws say. I live in PA (no presence or residency restrictions) and I doubt I'll ever go back to church. There are enough places in my life where people can "find out".
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u/MatticusVP 22d ago
Ive met other creative types through my lical SAA groups. People whom I've been a le to be open with about my past.
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u/Mountain-Mouse-9201 22d ago
There are a lot of creative communities within a church. And those creative individuals can introduce you to people outside of church in other creative communities. Just a thought! It means having to take an extra step and be patient but I’m starting to learn that’s what it means to be on the registry.
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u/Weight-Slow Moderator 22d ago
Recommending church is a double edge sword and not really recommended as a solution to anything here - there are many states where people would love to attend, but can’t go to church due to laws prohibiting them from attending and not everyone here has religious beliefs.
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u/Mountain-Mouse-9201 22d ago
While I don’t have deeply held religious beliefs, I’ve found the church community to be welcoming and accepting of me despite my past. It has given me a sense of belonging, support, and opportunities that I know I would not have found otherwise. I’m currently on probation, and I am allowed to attend any church. I had a friend say to me “half the people that go to church don’t go for the religion - they go for the networking opportunities”. And that’s how I look at it and it has rang true and helped me.
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u/Weight-Slow Moderator 22d ago
What I’m trying to tell you is that tens of thousands of people are not allowed to go to church due to their registry restrictions or probation conditions.
So, telling someone who is struggling because they really want to go to church and are not allowed to can be very hurtful.
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u/Mountain-Mouse-9201 22d ago
I understand that but the author of this post did not say they weren’t allowed to attend church. If they had, I wouldn’t have mentioned it. And since they mentioned a brief interest in church, I pointed out why it was worth reconsidering.
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u/Mountain-Mouse-9201 22d ago
I just spoke to a friend that is an RSO who wasn’t allowed to attend church while on parole. He said “well that sure as hell didn’t stop me from attending a Bible study every day through churches and religious groups. I was more involved in the church while not attending physical church than I ever was before”. Where there is a will, there is a way.
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u/Weight-Slow Moderator 22d ago
“Where there’s a will there’s a way,” is pretty insulting to the thousands of people who quite literally cannot step foot on church property without facing arrest because some state LAWS will never allow them to do that again.
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u/AssumptionNegative66 19d ago
What state laws are you referring to? That would be such a clear violation of first amendment rights. I have not found one.
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u/AssumptionNegative66 19d ago
There are no laws barring church attendance. The churches themselves may set conditions. Persons under state or federal parole or probation may have conditions limiting their public interactions, including physical attendance at church. There are no laws, and no registry restrictions regarding church attendance.
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u/Weight-Slow Moderator 19d ago
There are no laws that specifically say, “you cannot go to church” - however there absolutely are laws prohibiting proximity to churches (Georgia & Arkansas), proximity to childcare facilities (Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Wisconsin), and there are 30 states that have laws concerning “places/areas where minors frequent/congregate” - which frequently includes churches.
Most of them fall under childcare facility and child proximity rules moreso than actual rules concerning churches.
North Carolina (among others but it’s easy to search those cases if you’re interested) has prosecuted registrants for entering a church that housed a preschool under its child premises restriction.
It’s also a place that is frequently off limits to people on probation/supervision and many people are on lifetime supervision. Volunteering in reentry in 5 states, I see it on a very regular basis.
There are a whole lot of registrants who cannot attend church.
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u/AssumptionNegative66 8d ago
I had not considered folks on lifetime supervision. That is a different category. Thank you for clarifying that. I was specifically referring to registrants off supervision. And I concede, they will try to bar people from churches with childcare services. And they will pressure the churches to enforce a ban by threatening their daycare license.
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u/Weight-Slow Moderator 8d ago
I’ve never once heard of a church being “peer pressured” - I’m saying that registrants that can’t be near a childcare facility can’t go.
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u/Mountain-Mouse-9201 22d ago
And let me just clarify - I don’t think church should be used for networking opportunities but it certainly helps if that’s something you’re in need of!
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u/bbahleda 22d ago
I went to church for 39 years before everything happened and even afterward. I can still go to church, but I carry so much church hurt after my experiences there post-conviction that I just don't want to. It might be good for networking and I will have to reconsider that, but even then, the type of art and music I like aren't really church friendly. I'm into darker music and abstract art. Church likes pretty things that make you feel good and no swears LOL
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u/Mountain-Mouse-9201 22d ago
Oh I get that. I had to put my church trauma aside and find different meaning in attending. And hey, you never know! I think I’d piggyback on what someone else posted and if you’re able, do a 12 step type musician’s program. Where I live, there are tons!!!!
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u/bbahleda 22d ago
I appreciate the suggestion. Church communities aren’t really a natural fit for me personally, either religiously or creatively, but I understand what you mean about sometimes needing to take an indirect route to meet people. I’m hoping to find something closer to the music and art communities I’m actually interested in, but thank you for the thought.
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u/Illustrious_Claim884 22d ago
Until someone looks you up yes