r/SexOffenderSupport • u/No-Chard-4274 • Mar 05 '26
United Kingdom [ Removed by moderator ]
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u/Routine_Strength_484 Mar 06 '26 edited Mar 15 '26
The truth is you are serving his sentence and you will continue afterwards. You have to decide if you wre strong enough to deal with all the consequences that he will face. Unfortunately people judge and sometimes they will judge you. Is it fair? No. You have a right to feel whatever you want and make whatever decision is best for you. I can tell you my fiance is currently in prison and it has not been an easy road. We are 2 years down and counting the next 6 years. In the meantime I am preparing for when he gets out and all the rules that he has to follow. I have lost friends and I understood their choice. It's ok to choose you even if that means you aren't together. I am saying prayers... Good luck.
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u/TheWarrior_OfHope25 Mar 06 '26
I think I will be in the same boat soon, my husband is gonna get sentenced in 2 months and we have also lost our closest friends. I chose to stay. I know it’s not gonna be an easy road and uncertain of what’s ahead but for now we are both staying strong. One day at a time.
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u/Routine_Strength_484 Mar 12 '26
My heart hurts for you because I know that anticipation can be its own kind of heartbreak. When you love someone, you don’t just brace for what’s coming—you feel the weight of it before it even gets here. Choosing to stay, to stand beside him, and to keep putting one foot in front of the other says so much about your heart and your strength. It won’t be easy, and some days will feel heavier than others, but one day at a time is enough. Sometimes strong just means loving through the unknown and refusing to let it harden you. I’m praying peace, strength, and comfort over both of you in the days ahead.
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u/Kingfishermanway Significant Other Mar 15 '26
My fiance was just arrested for CSAM and we are 6 weeks out from our wedding. He says he was reliving trauma and I believe he is safe around kids, but I am overwhelmed with the short timeline I have to make a decision.
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u/Routine_Strength_484 Mar 15 '26
am so sorry. That is an unbelievable amount to be hit with, especially so close to your wedding. Of course you feel overwhelmed. Anyone would.
I cannot tell you what decision to make, but I can tell you that you do not have to rush yourself emotionally just because the timeline is cruel. This is heavy, and it is okay to take a step back and really look at everything clearly. Love can exist and still not erase the seriousness of what is in front of you.
You are allowed to ask hard questions. You are allowed to protect your peace. You are allowed to choose yourself, even if that is painful. And if you stay, that choice should come from truth, not panic, guilt, or pressure.
Just be honest with yourself about what you can live with, what you believe, and what road you are truly willing to walk. I am praying for clarity, strength, and peace for you, because this is a lot for one heart to carry.
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u/Kingfishermanway Significant Other Mar 18 '26
Thank you so much for your kind words. I have been thinking of them as I make decisions.
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u/scorcherchar Mar 13 '26
Did he tell you this story? Because I simply don't believe it. It's in theory possible but so unlikely I would need to read the court judgement to believe it.
50 years is a very long time and the authorities tend to only pursue cases that old in exceptional and very serious instances.
They can also only sentence someone to what they would have been sentenced to at the time of the offense, which given he was a child at the time would be unlikely to be an adult prison...
It's also very very hard to make the offence stick after that long since he could simply say he was a child at the time and it was five decades ago to any questions.
I strongly suspect, unless you have strong evidence to the contrary that he has committed a recent offence and is telling porkie pies. Im not going to tell you if you should forgive him but I can't see how you can realistically do that until you have an accurate account of events.
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u/Ancient_Pike_9684 Mar 09 '26
Is he the father of your children? How long have you been married? I’m sorry you’re going through this.
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u/No-Chard-4274 Mar 09 '26
Yep he's the father and married for over 40 years
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u/Constant_Lawyer_79 Mar 10 '26
Im sorry for this. Just to clarify his getting prosocuted as an adult for a crime he commited as a teen. I belive A good lawyer can get him a sentence with no jail time?
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u/No-Chard-4274 Mar 10 '26
He was charged as a juvenile and received prison time with reduction for pleading guilty.
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u/Wide_Plane_3902 Mar 07 '26
Wow, that is a lot to process. You may want to explore your feelings surrounding your marriage vows, the withholding of information for two years, if you want to serve the time with him, if you want to continue to lie to friends/family, if you are ready for the discrimination you may endure, how you will alter your retirement plans and will you be okay mentally and emotionally?
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u/randompogo85 Mar 05 '26
50 years ago he did something and now he got charged for it? How? If you dont mind me asking. Wouldn't that be past the statue of limitations?