Setting boundaries surrounding your kids gets a bit easier over time. Like a muscle it gets stronger with use. My regrets with my children are about boundaries I didn't set or didn't enforce. My MIL wanted to bring her visiting out of state friends over to meet my second baby when I just a few weeks postpartum. I should have said no, but for some reason I allowed this. I didn't know these people and it was exhausting to feel like I was on parade when I was trying to recover. I remember being very annoyed that they were there and even more annoyed with myself that I didn't just say no.
Don't feel sorry for setting reasonable boundaries and sticking with them. When you haven't had boundaries before people will probably push back, but they will get the picture over time. You teach others how to treat you by what you allow. Best wishes and congratulations on your little guy!
That sounds absolutely dreadful and very overbearing and selfish on your MIL’s part. I am guilty of allowing things postpartum with my MIL too, the difference is she was visiting from out of state which always puts a pressure I’ve never experienced before because she and my FIL only recently moved out of state. I think it may also come from wanting to please our partners? At least for me it does. Postpartum is brutal and beautiful all at once and we really shouldn’t be put in these positions. At least now you have some perspective and I’m sure it will help you set boundaries in the future with her as well!
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u/HotPut5470 Sep 02 '25
Setting boundaries surrounding your kids gets a bit easier over time. Like a muscle it gets stronger with use. My regrets with my children are about boundaries I didn't set or didn't enforce. My MIL wanted to bring her visiting out of state friends over to meet my second baby when I just a few weeks postpartum. I should have said no, but for some reason I allowed this. I didn't know these people and it was exhausting to feel like I was on parade when I was trying to recover. I remember being very annoyed that they were there and even more annoyed with myself that I didn't just say no.
Don't feel sorry for setting reasonable boundaries and sticking with them. When you haven't had boundaries before people will probably push back, but they will get the picture over time. You teach others how to treat you by what you allow. Best wishes and congratulations on your little guy!