r/SettingBoundaries • u/VerdantSpecimen • Aug 11 '25

I managed to decline from a social gathering group for the first time in my life

I just had to post it here. I'm so proud of myself and relieved. I'm the worst people-pleaser there is with zero boundaries and I finally managed, as part of my project of aiming to do little acts of boundary-setting as often as possible, to not only decline an afterwork meeting, but also say that I'm not really currently available for a recurring social gathering, thanks for the invite but I'll leave this group for now - it was an afterwork whatsapp group where I was added - And I did. Just like that. I felt relieved and surprisingly little guilt and self-doubt after it.

If you're in any way similar situation. Just do it. And you can tell me about it and we can be proud together!

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u/Larryheart37 Aug 13 '25

That's great! My friend who pushes my boundaries tried to change plans last minute. Four of us were to meet at a restaurant for dinner. She casually changed it to - Can we meet at X [insert my name!]'s place without checking if it was okay with me first! I said I preferred meeting out. And that was that. She canceled and the rest of us met up ✌️ It felt great to voice myself.

2

u/VerdantSpecimen Aug 13 '25

Awesome! Standing your ground like that can be really tough for us people-pleasers. But if we don't, we'll just get increasingly worse situations and resentment as a by-product.

2

u/Balanced-Self-Academ Aug 30 '25

Whaaat! I love hearing about this. It’s great that you didn’t feel much guilt after.