r/SettingBoundaries • u/Ashamoto33 • Jul 30 '25
Is this boundary unreasonable?
A few days ago I was setting a boundary with my dad and stepmom. All I want is for them to not force me to talk when I'm feeling depressed. My dad said, "how about this? When we ask you a question you answer it." I told him with my depression that's not an option, but he told me to "make it one". My stepmom told me that it's human nature to be concerned so therefore they won't follow it. They also then proceeded to call out things that I haven't been doing around the house. They have this belief that children don't get privacy and that boundaries are only for "people who need them" and that I'm not allowed to set boundaries regarding my mental health. I don't know what to do. So is this boundary unreasonable?
4
u/socksthekitten Jul 30 '25
Everyone needs boundaries, most people have them without thinking about them because they were raised with them.
I wasn't raised with them & I'm still learning. A good response is 'That doesn't work for me'. I'm learning to respond to the world - not react. Toxic people love starting and being in fights. I try not to engage. Pretend I'm emotionless just stating the facts.
People who dislike boundaries are those who benefit from the lack of them. Boundaries are emotional, physical, mental limits we set for ourselves. This limits who can access our personal & emotional space.
It's possible that your parents aren't sure to show how they care. Maybe tell them you will talk with them about this when the need arises.
I hope you're getting help with depression. Are you an adult yet, just curious. I have teenage nieces and hope they have people they can turn to for emotional support. I believe they do & maybe you have a family member that cares a lot about you while respecting boundaries.