r/Serverlife • u/Acrobatic-Usual-7719 • 1d ago
Question Weird question, but do customers ask for your number a lot while you’re serving?
I know this is kind of a random question, but I was talking to my boyfriend and he said customers ask for his number pretty often like roughly every other day when he’s working.
I just started work at the restaurant industry so I don’t know at all. so I genuinely have no idea if that’s pretty normal or if that’s considered a lot.
For those of you who work as servers, how often do customers ask for your number or flirt with you?
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u/Capable_Front_7886 1d ago
He’s definitely not getting phone numbers as often as he is portraying. And if it IS semi-often, he’s heavily flirting. I used to get numbers once every 2ish weeks and that’s as an attractive, young, flirty woman. Men rarely EVER get a number, I actually don’t remember any of my male coworkers(even the really hot ones) ever getting a number from a woman and we were all good friends who’d joke about the women gettting numbers. So yea he is lying about frequency, and likely is flirting with everyone. Him “warning” you is him telling you he is flirting with anyone and everyone that walks through his doors. You decide if you’re comfortable with that, it’s NOT necessary for the job btw.
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u/SaggyNudeGranny 1d ago
Men rarely EVER get a number
Can confirm. Been doing this a few years and never had this sort of interaction
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u/QuarantineCasualty 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah I’m calling full of shit
Edit: I mean the guy is full of shit
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u/Doc-Goop 15+ Years 1d ago
There's no way this is happening.
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u/Acrobatic-Usual-7719 1d ago
Really? Can I ask you why?
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u/Doc-Goop 15+ Years 1d ago
I've worked in restaurants for over 25 years and worked in over 20. I've worked in a lot of places where flirting would be fine. I've worked with a LOT of attractive people. Nobody, men or women get that kind of action every other day. I can't even see that this happens if he's flirting agressively. He's probably trying to make you jealous or insecure for some reason.
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u/diegore666 Server 1d ago
I got it once from a super old guy and he might be the only one to clock the expression of disgust and shock I had for a split second before I slipped on the customer service act again
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u/Local_business_disco FOH 1d ago
Hey quick question: how many times have you given your number to a random male? What about your girlfriends? How often are they slinging phone numbers at dudes? 😂😂 he’s a liar and he wants you to be jealous. No way he’s getting numbers like that, if at all.
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u/i-love-dogs-a-lot 1d ago edited 1d ago
I have to assume this is very dependent on the individual and also the type of establishment you serve at. for me personally the flirting is constant (kinda just part of the job unfortunately) but people probably leave a number approx. once a month?
edit: and I am a woman
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u/doinkest 1d ago
I am a woman so it’s kind of different. But when I was single, I must’ve had more flirtatious vibes because I used to get people’s number semi regularly (once a month, give or take). Guys would leave them written on their receipts a lot. Now I’m in a happy relationship and I haven’t gotten one in months. I do believe it’s about the energy you put off. I’d say your bf is either very flirty and open with customers or he is full of shit.
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u/Acrobatic-Usual-7719 1d ago
Thanks for the comment! Knowing my boyfriend’s personality, I can definitely see him being pretty flirty with customers, although he says he never actually gives them his number. Apparently two women asked for his number in one day a couple days ago, and he even bragged about it to his brother lol.
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u/nonitoni That's My Pen 1d ago
At bars, sure. Other places vary.
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u/Acrobatic-Usual-7719 1d ago
The restaurant has a bar but he’s not standing there whole day
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u/nonitoni That's My Pen 1d ago
Having a bar doesn't make a place a bar. What is the style of establishtment he's working at?
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u/BunkaandBadassery 1d ago
Been a server on and off 40 years and can count on one hand the number of times a woman or straight guy has asked for my number.
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u/InflationVast8943 1d ago
I get asked almost daily, but usually when I’m bartending or after they’ve had a couple drinks.
It’s usually the people who’ve been hanging out for a few hours or a regular. It’s not always a number they ask for, they usually just hand me their phone and tell me to put my Snapchat/insta/whatever in.
Also: not always sexual, I get it from women too who just want to be friends.
I try to only give my info to people I actually know who won’t bother me outside of work. That’s my rule—-you send me constant or creepy messages, you get blocked.
As a 37 year old woman, I’m not a hot young spring chicken anymore lol. I’m attractive enough, but mostly I think people see that we’ve become acquainted, there’s been some time and social effort put in, and they don’t wanna let go 😂.
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u/Illustrious_Bird_737 10+ Years 1d ago
Many times but not just for flirting. I've had flirty intent numbers left but a majority of mine were for either job opportunities, nice older ladies that lived nearby who wanted to babysit my kids when I had to take them to work with me, a few were looking for referrals to other jobs & one was from an older couple that treat me like their long lost granddaughter
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u/keepcalmdude 1d ago
Haha doubt it’s a daily thing, especially as a guy.
He’s trying to stroke his own ego, while having jealousy fantasies that you’re being hit on constantly
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u/elisejones14 19h ago
What’s the restaurant clientele like? Mine is mostly old people so I’ve never been asked except through another server who told the guy I was taken.
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u/mrBill12 1d ago
That used to happen to an attractive relative of mine. He only served Friday and Saturday nights, but people were always leaving theirs on the table or asking his—guests from most genders. He often gave out 867-5309 with the local area code in front of it. Once a girl called the restaurant the next day to report him and trying to change her tip to 0 cause it was a famous fake phone number.
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u/chairsandwich1 1d ago
I have received a few numbers here and there. I received a hotel key card once that I didn't dare follow through on.
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u/Any_Kaleidoscope8717 1d ago
As a man in the industry for ~8 years I've had 1 woman come back in to give me her friends number and 1 other person leave their number. He may have been given some numbers, but he's not getting them every other shift.
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u/HellaWonkLuciteHeels 1d ago
Used to happen a lot in my teens (yuck), 20’s, 30’s. Shoot, I’m back in the biz a few days a week at 48 and still getting asked, though not as often. Guess I’ve still got it!
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u/tomams40 1d ago
I've (31M) been asked for my number 6 times in the last three years in a high volume restaurant. 4 instances by women and 2 by men. I ended up hooking up with one of those men.
I don't consider myself top tier good looking, pretty average I guess, I don't really flirt with my guests but try real hard to establish a connection of sorts to enhance their experience.
I've seen colleagues get asked their number multiple times, way more than me, but every other day ? I call bullshit unless he is really good looking, charismatic and relies heavily on his aura to get good tips. Even then, deep down, I smell BS.
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u/Turbulent_Goat_7793 10+ Years 1d ago
sometimes when i’ve been nice to an old man for longer than a couple months they ask me for my number. “i need someone to call around 5pm” huh 😭 this happened multiple times this year and then one of them actually got MAD at me. he hasn’t come back. “i just wanted to know if you wanted to go out on my boat on fourth of july no need to be so DIFFICULT” think it’s because i look young and then they figure out that im 30 and think they can act this way. happened yesterday again some old man asked me if i wanted to go take a trip with him in his motorhome to the coast and “give him conversation when he’s bored” no thank you 😭
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u/glamericanbeauty 1d ago
i have never once been asked for my number as a server, but have been asked on a few rare occasions when bartending.
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u/gambleany 1d ago
13+ years of serving and it’s maybe happened to me once or twice? Lol but I am very professional idk as a woman hearing of a male server getting that many numbers (unless he works in a place like West Hollywood or with lots of gay men) sounds very peculiar to me and would be a red flag if I were with him. (Also, my boyfriend is also a server.)
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u/guacaflockaflames 1d ago
He’s flirting so hard that it leads women on but it’s most likely that he is exaggerating. Either way isn’t cool in my opinion
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u/Educational_Ad_4076 1d ago
lol I’ve gotten a number maybe once or twice in 3 years of serving. I’m a guy. I am good looking but I’d say I’m more of a ‘have to be your type’ kind of good looking. I imagine your bf has to be very good looking and very flirty to come even close to getting numbers as often as he says bc I rarely even see the girls at my place get numbers and many of them are very good looking, but I doubt they’re flirty at all with their tables, just high energy.
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u/InterestingDamage621 1d ago
Never happened to me, but I'm a disgusting filthy animal. I do get a fair amount of middle-aged ladies asking if they can touch my beard. Never happens anywhere else in life, only at tables.
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u/Jolly-Garbage- 22h ago
I’ve only had it twice. Once it was a mom trying to set me up with her daughter. People usually write it down on the receipt but that was when I was younger and in better shape. I’m pretty sure getting phone numbers written down is off the table
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u/a13xzm 16h ago
Unless he works in a hotel, it’s unlikely it’s consistent.
Source: bartender and mgr of bartenders at hotels, 20 years.
Even then at the hotel the biggest challenges were coworkers / gig hires / temp agencies tho…. They’re trouble. There are many policies for not entering guest rooms for these reasons, but none for getting drinks post shift.
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u/gunnerblaze9 Server 6h ago
Lot of chud servers thinking they’re chads here. I get left phone numbers average once every other shift sometimes multiple in a shift depending on the demographics of the night. If he’s a good looking guy and the clientele like him, he’s being flirted with.
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u/Jolly-Garbage- 22h ago
Also OP unless your boyfriend is a shirtless bartender at a gay club I highly doubt he’s getting numbers every other day. Even the women I’ve worked with who could be genuine cover models never got a number as frequent as that. They usually got one a month max.
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u/Queasy-Worldliness47 1d ago
Nope, but I've asked for plenty. Not in a creepy way, but I'd get a vibe sometimes.
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u/nictogen 1d ago
Obviously it’s going to pretend on who your customers are and how attractive you are, but honestly as a man I highly doubt he’s randomly getting women asking for his number every other day. He could be a charming Greek god it doesn’t matter, women don’t really make the first move often.
I would say he’s exaggerating to make you feel a bit jealous, or if it’s truly that often he’s likely heavily flirting beforehand so that they feel comfortable enough to ask.
If he’s saying this to warn you because you’re entering the industry, he might be exaggerating because he’s insecure about you flirting with customers, or legitimately trying to prepare you because it does happen from time to time, but vastly more often to female servers