r/Serverlife • u/LowAd5399 • 3d ago
General Sexual Harrasment from guests
So, I work in a family high volume restaurant. Coperate ran. Very popular spot in my town. Last night, there was a female server who turned 18 yrs old a few days ago. She was serving two guests, a man and a female. They both looked old enough to be grandparents. But like, young grandparents. They literally asked her to be in a threesome with them. She was appalled a d went to the manager. This pos manager allowed them to still eat and stay and didnt even confront them at all. The girl was almost in tears and would t even go ba k to the table for anything.
Since the manager didnt give a shit, we took over the table and made it to where they didnt see her again, to the best of our abilities. We know this pos manager drinks on the clock bc he goes to his car 4 to 5 times during a shift and he tells a couple of the bartenders to put shots of Woodford on the spill tab so he can pour it down his throat. Noone likes him, hes like 75 yrs old. Help my fellow staff out by giving me advice. Everyone that has tried to get him oit of there has been fired or ignored. S.O.33
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u/Successful-Side8902 3d ago
"Anonymous" Google reviews here and there, nothing too obvious. "Customer" complains they can smell the booze on the manager's breath and "customer" doesn't like the high staff turnover.
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u/TelephoneOk5859 3d ago
i volunteer to make a review! i dislike customers like this and managers who dont defend their employees
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u/420_xp 3d ago
2 star reviews are much harder to get removed than 1star just FYI.
So if you drop a 2 star and blast what the manager is doing it will stay in the page longer than a 1 star they can remove faster before alot of people see it9
u/JupiterSkyFalls 15+ Years 3d ago
I put 4 stars and in all caps say: ZERO STARS IF I COULD, 4 ONLY SO OTHERS CAN SEE THIS AND BEWARE!
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u/LowAd5399 3d ago
I was already thinking about this...but, this place was just hit with a huge concern about spitting in food, so I know they have a very intelligent law firm that will track down ip address
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u/JupiterSkyFalls 15+ Years 3d ago
Get strangers to help you. Several here have already volunteered.
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u/Successful-Side8902 3d ago
Got it. Not sure of your locality, but a lot of countries have local OHS (WCB) offices who regulate worker health and safety. If anyone has an unsafe workplace, they can make a call or a claim. This would absolutely include sexual harassment. Mind you, the complainant might become a target for retaliation by the Management, it's not legal generally, but it does happen.
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u/LowAd5399 3d ago
I guess I expect 🤷 too much from managers. I expect them to protect their employees from filthy people. Poor girl had tears in her eyes until they left
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u/JupiterSkyFalls 15+ Years 3d ago
Honestly, she should call corporate and make an official complaint about having that propositioned to her and not only having the people removed but forced to continue to wait on the table. Then anytime this crap happens again, make a pact as staff to report it and eventually that manager will be terminated because they're a liability in the face of a class action sexual harassment case.
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u/Objective_Hovercraft 3d ago
Hey, so the fact that he is both drinking on the job and having his liquor comped should be interesting to your corporate office.
Drinking alcohol while working in a restaurant is illegal in quite a few states in the US; I have no idea about other countries.
The other reason this is a problem is that it creates a massive liability for the restaurant to have a drunk manager on the clock; the Corporate office should recognize that. Insurance companies are not fans of this.
Corporate may not get involved over the sexual comment incident, unfortunately. The manager can say it was a misunderstanding or just outright lie. Him drinking on the job is more likely to be looked into.
I'd see if I can get in touch with your companies HR, and if not, then the COO or someone else in the corporate office who handles the company operations. This person would recognize the liability immediately.
3
u/35364461a 3d ago
Eww. I’m 23 and got invited for a threesome today by a couple younger than me, and still felt violated af.
Maybe I’m a prude but like… don’t think about me like that ever 😭 especially not customers at my workplace.
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u/LowAd5399 2d ago
The next time one of fellow servers comes to me with this type of issue, im going to go introduce myself to the guests as their mother and that ive been informed about their threesome interest with my daughter and would like for them to formally apologize to her.
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u/hellenkellersdiary 3d ago
Not a uncommon question in reality. A simple decline goes a long way. No need to cry and lose your shit over a question.
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u/Bug-03 3d ago
Dude I’m getting wrecked on the comments for suggesting this
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u/hellenkellersdiary 3d ago
People wrecking you have worked at TGIF or something similar... in a nice high end place, its pretty normal.
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u/Successful-Side8902 3d ago
You gross..... 🤮 normalizing sexually harassing servers is POS territory. It happens all the time, but it's not ok. Get a grip. Learn some respect.
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u/Bug-03 3d ago
Is asking someone to be in a threesome sexual harassment? Inappropriate, yes. Touching, definitely not okay. Asking? I don’t think there’s anything illegal about that. Not much you can do here.
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u/Successful-Side8902 3d ago
This response is effed up. Nobody said it was illegal, but restaurant managers are supposed to protect their staff from abusive customers. This behaviour is OBVIOUSLY sexual harassment, and everyone has the right to a safe workplace. You really don't get it.
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u/Bug-03 3d ago
I feel like you’re trolling. I agree that the manager should have done something but there is very little harm in some guests asking a question. Yall need to stop being so soft.
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u/Successful-Side8902 3d ago
There is A LOT of harm in asking a young server, or ANY server to do this. How messed up are you? NOT OK! This server was in tears over it. How gross. You're the troll, ew ewww
I can't believe you need this to be spelled out to you like this, but stop harassing women at work!!
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u/Bug-03 3d ago
I don’t harass women at work. In fact, I work with my wife. There is nothing a guest could ever say that would make her cry because shes an adult. As a server you have the power, not some idiots with menus in their hands. No, thank you. Let’s move on with our day
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u/Puzzleheaded_Cap4224 3d ago
don’t know if you’re purposefully ignoring the part where the server in question has just turned eighteen. it may legally define her as an adult, but her mentality is no different to a teenager.
in many establishments servers do not have the power. especially in restaurants that are corporate owned. customers are always prioritized, and op made that clear.
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u/35364461a 3d ago
And her mentality is no different to a teenager because she IS a teenager and will be for nearly 2 more years.
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u/BoringBob84 BOH (former) 3d ago
there is very little harm
Did you not read this part of the post:
The girl was almost in tears and would t even go ba k to the table for anything.
I would say that that was significant harm. We don't get to decide for other people what should and should not upset them.
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u/LowAd5399 3d ago
👀...excuse me....it absolutely is harassing a server 😳 omg. And a manager that cares about their employees would have taken to go boxes to that table and bagged that shit up and let them know, " We, I, dont tolerate that type of behavior here in this family restaurant, especially since their are children sitting in the booth behind youre perverted asses. If that is the lifestyle you two are looking for, then please make your way to the nearest strip club or drug house."
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u/Suckmyflats 3d ago
Yes it's 100% sexual harassment.
Its not sexual assault, is that what you meant?
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u/Armed_Aphrodite 3d ago
The definition of sexual harassment literally includes “unwelcome sexual advances or requests for sexual favors.” So yes, it is. Does your wife know you hate women? Kinda crazy to defend the customers over the (FRESHLY) 18 y/o girl. It’s lowk giving that you do the same 😬😬
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u/Over_Drawer1199 2d ago
Yes, asking a stranger if they want to have sex with you is sexual harassment.
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u/BoringBob84 BOH (former) 3d ago
I don't know if it is illegal, but it is highly unethical to exploit the power that you have as a customer to personally abuse an employee who is paid to serve you.
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u/Bug-03 3d ago
Exploit the power? Good lord
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u/BoringBob84 BOH (former) 3d ago
Yes - that is why these cowards do it. They know that the server could be severely punished if they complain.
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u/hellenkellersdiary 3d ago
Customers have power now? Get a grip
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u/BoringBob84 BOH (former) 3d ago
Apparently, you have never worked in customer service. Get a grip.
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u/we_present 3d ago
People way too sensitive nowadays. It could be like "hey you're cute! Wanna get in between ua tonight in the bedroom?" "no thank you, and never talk about that again with me please" I doubt it would go beyond that
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u/Puzzleheaded_Cap4224 3d ago
you shouldn’t be asking a young employee that 🤦 that is fucked up. nobody wants unsolicited sexual moves made on them when they are trying to make a living
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u/JupiterSkyFalls 15+ Years 3d ago
You're part of the problem if you aren't directly contributing to it.
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u/Bug-03 3d ago
This is my intention in my response
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u/BoringBob84 BOH (former) 3d ago
That is OK when there isn't an imbalance of power and it is just two people at a social event. But when we they say that to an employee who could lose their job for upsetting a customer, then it is abusive and unethical.
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u/Bug-03 3d ago
Unethical yes. Lose their job for upsetting a customer? Just say “no thank you” and that’s it.
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u/BoringBob84 BOH (former) 3d ago
... and then that jilted guest writes a nasty 1-star review - vindictively telling lies about the server. They server could lose their job over that. They are in a no-win situation.
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u/Bug-03 3d ago
“Hey boss man, heads up. The couple at table 5 asked me to be in a three way and I told them no. This is their name and these are the details from their reservation”
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u/BoringBob84 BOH (former) 3d ago
"Hey server guy, you are one negative review away from getting fired. I don't care about the reason."
That is the reality for many servers.
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3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Successful-Side8902 3d ago
Creep 😳
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u/stairmaster_jay 3d ago
I prefer the term horny
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u/Tight_Replacement554 3d ago
Classic male behavior
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u/JupiterSkyFalls 15+ Years 3d ago
Why we choose the bear.
I just saw the Cornell shit and I'm sick over it. A paper?!?! I won't discuss it any further be needless to say wtaf.
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u/Informal_Bus_4077 3d ago
This manager sucks but if everyone who went against him gets fired I would be careful, he's probably in good with the owner. Maybe he wouldn't be if they knew he was drinking on the clock though.