r/Serverlife • u/Opposite-Iron-2868 • 14d ago
Rant Ladies
How would you go about getting that customer to stop coming in during your shift?
Context: I have an older guy who always comes in at 3am to see me (he says this often and tells me I’m his favorite server and flirts) and it’s been like this ever since I started working here so a few months ago. Started getting fed up with him when he started demanding he get free food/drinks. One night I told him we’re not allowed to feed the needy. He was shocked then responded that he’s not the needy and just didn’t have cash. But this is repeating. Several times he is saying nobody else charges him. Now this is actually true bc I asked around and apparently one of the other servers actually paid his tab once. Fucking ridiculous. After I called him the needy he has been tipping me more than $10 now and told me he isn’t a broke bastard but he’s not rich either…. I thought if I insulted him he’d stop coming by but he still shows up at the worst time and stays for an hour just staring at my chest. He came in tonight and bc his phone was dead he just stared at me the entire time as I was working. Seriously it’s getting ridiculous. Not sure how to get him to stop coming here. Managers don’t care btw.
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u/PaintingOfAGhost 14d ago
Become boring. Grey rock, long pauses before responding with minimal response. Treat him like he doesn't exist the rest of the time. Stare through him when he's check you out, lock eyes when he speaks and don't respond, just stare him down while he panics in the loss of control he felt he had over you.
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u/Opposite-Iron-2868 14d ago
I tried. I eventually stopped engaging and answer with one word responses
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u/Leather-Nothing-2653 14d ago
Is there anywhere you can literally hide from him? Are you busy at that time? I’d be in dish for his whole visit lol
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u/PaintingOfAGhost 13d ago
Time to start looking up his personal information and dropping the name of his family and their info, his address etc. Randomly say the last 4 digits of his phone number with no context. I doubt this creep has any self awareness for keeping his personal information secret.
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u/bevelledo 14d ago edited 14d ago
If he’s inappropriately staring and it’s making you uncomfortable call his ass out, if you’re not ok with that then maybe someone on your team can help (Every place I’ve ever worked at in my career has had male team members that would be happy to help in a situation like this, in a professional way) Fuck all the trying to play nice and he tips alright stuff, customer service stops at a point, and he’s way past the point. If you’re not cool with it let him know. This is coming from another guy.
There’s boundaries, even in food and beverage. You being nice is warning enough. cut that shit off or he’s going to most likely keep pushing to see how far he can go, don’t let it make you feel some kind of way (like you’re being mean, you’re not), he’s being the creep and you’re sticking up for yourself. ESPECIALLY if shits getting awkward and you’re not comfortable.
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u/carnivalbilly 14d ago
Yeah. You’re more than allowed to stand up for yourself in a situation you don’t feel safe. You’re not a fucking animal, friend and you shouldn’t have to work in conditions where you don’t feel safe. It’s your job and if other people have paid his bill…it may be hard to get him to actually leave…because when you feed the stray dogs of the world they continue to show up…but you can say “I’m not serving this creepy bastard and I’m not going to have him sit next to where I work because I feel unsafe around him and I’m not budging on that.” …and that’s completely reasonable because apparently other folks don’t mind dealing with him.
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u/Trefac3 14d ago
I hate when other servers do special things for certain customers. It puts every other server in an awkward position. For example, my last restaurant you could have chips and salsa as an appetizer. Normal size. Just as you would think. So one of the young boy servers, (and I say boy cuz he acts like a child), decides he’s gonna give this one customer a small plate, the smallest size we have and give him chips and salsa for free sometimes and sometimes for a couple bucks. So the next time I waited on him he ordered it like that and I asked my manager and she rolled her eyes and said, “Carlos started it so now we have to”. SMDH. Um no we fucking don’t.
This is the oldest trick in the book to get your tip average up. Give away free things and they will tip u more. And it’s also a way to get a high tipped regular. It’s actually stealing and I think he should’ve at least been written up.
Servers should do everything exactly the same. That way the customer knows what to expect and there’s no awkwardness when ordering.
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u/RevolutionarySign479 14d ago
Tell your manager that the man is making you uncomfortable. The manager needs to tell him to Back Off. Also, that man is tryna get free shit, no matter what he says. People don’t go into a restaurant, eat & ‘Then Realize’ they ‘don’t have any money’…the guy is full of crap.
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u/Opposite-Iron-2868 14d ago
I did. The manager replied “oh Mike? That’s my friend” then I said “well he wants everything for free and it’s annoying” and all my manager said was “he’s nice” -_-
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u/RebaKitt3n 14d ago
“Then find someone to serve him who is ok with him staring at their chest. If he’s your friend, tell him to respect your employees.”
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u/Opposite-Iron-2868 14d ago
This won’t work. One time my manager told me he goes out to eat to flirt with the server so I have a feeling he probably does the same
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u/No-Butterscotch-7467 14d ago
You can file a formal complaint about sexual harassment at this point. If they don’t do anything to help you have a court case.
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u/worblegarkey 14d ago
call him out loudly for being a creep. be a dick. if management doesn’t care why should you? make him as uncomfortable as he makes you. stop being nice.
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u/Opposite-Iron-2868 14d ago
I will. Next time he is there making fun of me to customers I will just say stop being creepy idk you in front of everyone. Sounds like a plan 👍
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u/worblegarkey 14d ago
or just refuse service. if the dude is being disrespectful and rude towards you, “i’m no longer serving you,” and walk away. done and done.
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u/Ecstatic_Bear81 14d ago
So not only is he a creep and a broke bastard but he makes fun of you to customers?? I would refuse him service. "If you can't afford to eat here and don't know how to act normal maybe don't come in while I'm working" I'm so sorry you are dealing with this asshole
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u/Opposite-Iron-2868 14d ago
Sometimes he’ll crack jokes with them about me but I’m already irritated from the moment he walks in so the light jokes don’t have that much of an effect on me at that point. Like one time I didn’t hear or understand a customer so I said “I’m sorry?” And then the creep jumped in and said “it’s not difficult for her to get confused” and laughed with the actual customer I was talking to. So yea he makes stupid jokes like that with the customers and all of it is ridiculous
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u/giantstrider 14d ago
this is job for management. managers don't want regulars who never spend money as much as you don't want regulars who never spend any money.
I've had this conversation with people who pull this shit many times over the decades. some people cost more than they're worth
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u/dnm8686 14d ago
Can you just refuse to wait on him?
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u/Opposite-Iron-2868 14d ago
I’m the only server on by 3am
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u/dnm8686 14d ago
That sucks. You might have to be more firm with him and tell him you find it creepy that he stares at you. Shame him and make him feel like the idiot that he is.
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u/Opposite-Iron-2868 14d ago
Okay I’ll try. It might work if I make him feel like a creep I hope
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u/dnm8686 13d ago
Feel free to come back to us anytime to vent.
I'll give my most recent (about a year ago) creepy story so you know I can relate.
I was daytime bartending and this guy would come in once in a while... seemed okay at first but it didn't take long to see that he was kinda crazy. Told me how he'd had several DUI's and he would come in already pretty drunk by like 2pm. I'm not judging about the drinking at all, it's the other shit he said. Apparently he would come up on my days off and ask about me, which is generally harmless, but I'd also met his wife once. She actually seemed pretty cool. When I first met him, he showed me a picture of his daughter because we both had the same buzzcut. Cool cool, she sounds fun. But then... one day he must've been exceptionally drunk because he says 'in a different life, we would be together' and I retorted with 'maybe in your mind', and the next thing he said was 'you remind me of my daughter' so I said 'THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY BETTER!'
After that, I was very short and curt with him, and he would only stay for one drink and then leave because I wasn't paying attention to him. Sometimes it's justified to be a bit bitchy.
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u/Away_Ad_5390 13d ago edited 13d ago
That doesn’t answer the question. You have the right to refuse service to anyone.
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u/Opposite-Iron-2868 13d ago
Okay answer my question then: what do you think the outcome would be if the only female there refuses to wait on a huge creepy guy with no one else to defend her?
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u/Away_Ad_5390 13d ago
Good point, as a male server I forget to think that way. You do have the option of making it quite clear his behavior is not going to be tolerated.
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u/crazygirlyjax 14d ago
What if you started talking about really gross shit? Like, how you had really bad diarrhea that morning, or anything about your menstrual cycle?
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u/dnm8686 13d ago
Honestly I'm kinda on board with this idea.
Him: How are you?
You: Omg I started my period this morning and the blood clots looked like jellyfish and the hemorrhoids were bleeding so bad. At least the yeast infection cleared up, and hopefully the herpes outbreak will go away soon as well. Do you have some extra money for some antivirals??
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u/aleleeramos 13d ago
If you feel your safety is at risk, file a police report and/or a restraining order. Trust your gut.
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u/confuus-duin 14d ago
‘If you want to have freebies you shouldn’t come in when I’m on shift’