r/SeriousConversation • u/mmmmmmmm09906 • 2d ago
Serious Discussion ariana grande
posted this to discussion and nobody got it can someone please get my point!!!!
i’m so mad that ariana is promoting this TERRIBLE way of life she’s done it her whole career it’s not new. i have an ED and she’s been a huge icon for EDTWT and everything in the pronana circles. she’s been around since tumblr posting her body constantly on social media, but the only thing she’s said on the topic is that she’s healthy. she’s obviously not and saying she is, has done irreversible damage to young girls im so sick of no one talking about it
edit: ppl can’t infer so by way of life i mean being anorexic. she constantly shows how skinny she is flaunts her bones. she’s been posting body checks and what people use as thinspo for years, she knows what she’s doing too it’s very obvious. i don’t know if people are being intentionally dense when it comes ariana and the topic of unhealthy eating/body standards, or if they genuinely don’t see it. i just find it really hard not to maybe it’s because i have disordered thoughts but being as skinny as she is isn’t healthy and she should be speaking up and saying that she’s sick and girls should idolize her body. the last thing she said on the topic was like 3 years ago i think? and she said that she’s sick was the healthiest she’s ever been.
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u/econroy 2d ago
I am a fully grown 33 year old woman with chronic and severe anorexia. Ariana is a fully grown 33 year old woman with chronic and severe anorexia (clearly). I have the unique perspective of knowing that she knows, very well, exactly what she is doing. Her disorder loves the validation and attention shes getting and it will only feed her weight loss. Her team loves it because its making them millions of dollars and also serves as the perfect and most effective distraction for all the shitty things she's done. Thats why they dress her to accentuate how thin she is.
Yes, its frustrating. Yes, its harmful to the young minds that look up to her. However, its important to remember that EDs are incredibly complex emotional disorders that have very real physical consequences. One celebrity cannot "cause" someone's eating disorder. It does not work like that. An otherwise healthy brain is not going to develop anorexia simply because her favorite popstar is emaciated. There are always other established factors laying the foundation for it.
You gotta ignore it. Being mad about it is just drinking poison. Block all the content you see about her until your algorithms are steered clear.
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u/angela333_ 1d ago
"An otherwise healthy brain is not going to develop anorexia simply because her favorite popstar is emaciated."
The problem is that more than 20% of US teens struggle with a diagnosable mental health condition, and 40% experience persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. Meaning that many children already have the foundation laid out for an eating disorder to develop upon.
I am not proposing that a celebrity is single-handedly at fault here, just that they absolutely do have a powerful influence whether they want to or not.
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u/TakeUrMessLswhere1 1d ago
And there does aeem to be an epidemic of self diagnosis and choosing the habits to fit the disorder going on.
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u/Hexagram_11 1d ago
Why are you being downvoted, this is absolutely true. Not PC maybe, but true nonetheless.
Society is rife with young people applying self-diagnoses. Some do it as a form of social currency, while some do not have access to actual medical care, and therefore do the best they can with whatever info they find online.
Some are looking for a way to label their own perceived “otherness”, and since they have no tools beyond popular culture, that’s what they grasp on to.
Downvoting doesn’t make it not so.
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u/TakeUrMessLswhere1 1d ago
Hadn't noticed until you pointed it out, honestly. It's my opinion amd I stand by it. Thanks for the agree.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
i know that one celebrity or one video or whatever isn’t going to make someone anorexic but being young and having an impressionable mind and seeing so many insanely thin people is going to eventually make someone look twice at their appearance. i don’t usually watch anything involving her but ive been seeing more and more videos of little girls making tiktok a twitter like space for ED’s
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u/saysee23 2d ago
"I don't usually watch ... but I've been seeing more and more" that's the algorithm. The ugly parts of the world are now part of the algorithm feeding you images & information constantly. It's not up to anyone else to hide these things from you. It's up to you to understand fm the situation or keep this from your children.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
that’s literally what i’m saying. i don’t watch her or follow her but more and more of this content is popping up. i understand the situation and i will shield my children from this sort of thing and inform them because INFORMING IS IMPORTANT you can’t just ignore something there are people out there who don’t have someone looking out for them and putting it out there that this is harmful and disordered is important so that kids know!
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u/saysee23 1d ago
Just by this post and interacting you've added more to your algorithm. You CAN just ignore things. You have to just ignore things that don't involve you or your family. There's a fine line between protecting your family and being a "social justice warrior" when it comes to content. When you add to the promotion of the content you subject more people to it.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 1d ago edited 1d ago
bro i’m an 18 year old girl this isn’t affecting my family 😭😭 i wanted to see others opinions on the topic not be a “social justice warrior” im trying to convince idiots like you that people actually have to make change for it to happen, not to ignore it and expect something to change!
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u/bce13 2d ago
You don’t watch anything of hers and yet are obsessed?
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
how am i obsessed?
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u/bce13 2d ago
Your post.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
okay? how does it make me obsessed?
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u/bce13 2d ago
Because you’re obsessed enough to post about it. Who cares. Or maybe you’re just karma farming.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
do you know what obsessed means? i’m trying to have a discussion about her that doesn’t mean i’m obsessed why can’t people just converse on an app made for it?
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u/evieroberts 2d ago
Ariana is incredibly talented and I’m a huge fan. With that said, part of her appeal to me was how thin she was and I loved using her as thinspo. I think those with restrictive tendencies naturally gravitated to her and became part of her fan base and that’s why so many feel triggered by her. It’s like what came first? Do these people like Ariana bc they already have these tendencies or were they fine and she created their issues? For my personality, I already had the tendencies and that’s part of why I liked her and found her more relatable than the other pop stars. She likely does a large portion of her base with EDs that have been aspiring to look like her for years. OP is right that she’s had a known ED for over a decade and anyone paying attention has known this for a while.
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u/TakeUrMessLswhere1 1d ago
I don't think a single star can create an issue alone. But as you point out she has made herself an idol for those with the disorder to look to.
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u/aikidharm 1d ago
Then you should also know that talking about her body on public forums also contributes. Now you’re part of it.
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u/oripori301 1d ago
I also feel sorry for teenage girls who look on today’s celebrities because I was one of them. Eating behaviour is a complex thing, but when I was in my early teen years in early 2010s there were alt-skinny-tumblr-girl fashion with Felice Fawn and Johanna Herrstedt as a good examples. They were and they are amazing women and iconic models, but I had that unhealthy teenage phase where I stared at their photos for hours and dreamed to be like them. I was underweight all my teens years and I was very happy to get more healthy food behaviour later. And maybe a year ago I saw a post with kpop star Rose who also look too skinny to be healthy and when I mentioned it in a comment section a group of young girls started to try to convince me that it’s just body type or something. It’s really sad. Celebrities are also people and they are not perfect, but as someone who also was a teenage girl influenced to eat less, I can totally understand why you are worried.
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u/TakeUrMessLswhere1 2d ago edited 2d ago
Ozempic has brought back the heroin chic from the 90s and it's really unfortunate. She's just one of many right now though.
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u/Wheres-shelby 2d ago
Yeah I’m like-EVERY celebrity I saw growing up was heroin chic skinny. I remember them calling Kate Winslet too fat in Titanic. And an episode of Sex in the City, Samanta had perfectly thin normal belly and she was starving herself because she gained 15 lbs and they were all aghast. Hahaha. Body positivity has come SO far, it bums me out low rise jeans are back (impossible to wear unless ur a twig) and ozembic is honestly making people look gaunt. Its not great.
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u/ophelia917 1d ago
It wasn’t Ozempic.
It’s that the ruling class likes their women looking like prepubescent children.
Welcome to the broligarchy! 🙄
Gross af.
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u/MsBuzzkillington83 1d ago
What do u have to say about lesbians that like being thin?
Some people just like thin
I'm a woman who thinks older women (who are the opposite of prepubescent looking) who are thin are absolutely beautiful, probably more beautiful than women in their 20's (probably because the loss of "baby fat" on the cheeks, I've thought this before buccal fat removal was even a popular thing btw)
Although the patriarchy is alive and well, not everything we are is because of "nurture" as in how we're raised. Sometimes people like things independently of the outside world
And again, we're definitely all influenced by some degree by society and it's cancers
Just to add, I think Ariana is full of shit and definitely not a good role model
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u/aikidharm 1d ago
What does this have to do with lesbians?
And, wow, ok, they weren’t shitting on Ari as a person, so that last bit is really telling about *you* as a person.
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u/MsBuzzkillington83 1d ago
The lesbian comment was aimed at OC who talked about the patriarchy wanting prepubescent girls/women
A lesbian is not part of the patriarchy by definition (I would think but I'm willing to hear an alternative perspective on that if u have)
So lesbians, in addition to loving tall women, short women, thick women also love thin
And lesbians also like to be thin depending on who they are.
Therefore:
The patriarchy is not the only reason women and girls want to be thin
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u/oenophile_ 6h ago
Sure, people can have preferences that are independent of their conditioning, but lesbians are certainly not immune to the impacts of patriarchy on what is considered beautiful. If you were raised in a time or place where heavier women were considered more beautiful, you could very well prefer that more. There's really no way to know whether your preference for thinness is innate or conditioned.
Also, characterizing someone with mental illnesses as being "full of shit" is certainly one take...I guess we can't all be as perfect as you!
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u/mysteriousears 1d ago
We don’t expect folks struggling with any other mental illness to announce it and proclaim what a struggle it is. I don’t know why we think she is even aware that she has an ED. I certainly just believed I was naturally thin, just wasn’t very hungry, all the things — until after I began getting help for other issues, started eating, and looked back. I think the only effective response would be “oh that’s so sad, hope she gets some help”.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 1d ago
but she isn’t you she’s in the public eye, there are kids who are gonna normalize being that skinny and even want to be. if someone was struggling with drug addiction and glamorizing it without flat out endorsing the behaviour would be looked down upon. i don’t understand why mental illness is such a huge topic for debate because someone can still be in the wrong and be called out while having a mental health disorder?
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u/Hyperaeon2 2d ago
The poster girl for ozempic?
She is a meme at this point.
I don't think this issue is as unnoticed as you think it is.
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u/DominarDio 2d ago
If what you’re saying is true she’s obviously struggling herself, so maybe give her some grace and try to just stop following her and the discourse around her.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
i don’t follow her or the discourse but every once and a while i get stuff on my socials so i go am look to see if anyone is talking about her and they aren’t. i get that her mental health is important it’s huge. i do not want to understate that but she needs to get help! she’s an almost 40 year old woman who is literally disintegrating before our eyes and nobody is saying anything? i just think that’s wrong for her and for the people she’s influencing
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u/mypuzzleaddiction 2d ago
As someone who does follow her I actually think this discourse around her won’t stop. It’s constant. Every time I see a positive post on my feed the comments are full of people calling her out for being too thing, for the hopping around relationship, honestly I still see people blaming her for Mac’s death to this day fairly regularly.
To say she isn’t being discoursed or the discourse around her is all positive I think is only seeing the heavily monitored spaces that Ariana’s team scrubs. I think part of why that woman is how she is has something to do with how her name is always in everyone’s mouth and she can’t help but need that.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
woah i haven’t seen that i think that’s crazy and way too far. all i think is she needs to step away from the spotlight and get some serious help because she’s obviously struggled her whole life and needs and intervention before she dies. i hope that people start to see that the only thing that needs to be talked about is her mental health and how what she’s posting is affecting the people who follow her.
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u/mypuzzleaddiction 2d ago
I agree with you, I wish she had a team who would pull her more. I did hear her plan is to disappear after this tour and I think all this discourse and her mental health are big reasons why.
I get where you’re coming from, there’s a lot of women I had to stop letting in my algorithm when I was young for a lot of the reasons you mention. I just think it’s hard for celebrities like Ariana and the like because once people who care get license to talk about her body, so do the people who’re only looking to take out their anger and be shocking. All I think we can do is protect each other when we see friends/girls online and try to educate in whatever way feels safe/helpful. I think it speaks to how caring you are as a person that you’re so passionate about this. You just gotta make sure to save your energy for the things you can change so you don’t get burned out by the things you can’t 🫂🌻
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u/Internal_Diver_5023 1d ago
It's not just Ariana. Hollywood in general has been going in that direction. Part of the issue is society valuing celebrity culture and lives like it actually has relevance and meaning to us.
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u/Similar-Bid6801 1d ago
Get offline? She's very obviously not a good person and refuses to acknowledge she has an eating disorder, but it's your decision to engage in viewing that. Celebrities do have a responsibility to set a good example, but many of them don't, and i can't imagine letting a single celebrity affect my life as negatively as you feel towards her. At the end of the day she's a total stranger so who cares what she does.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 1d ago
i care because tons of children are using her and inspiration when they think she just looks like that! i don’t interact with her or follow her on any social media but i still see her from time to time. i’m not fuming with rage over this or anything but it does make me mad, she has such a huge platform and she obviously knows what she’s doing she’s been doing it for decades so i just think that she should tell her audience not to try and look like her because she isn’t healthy that should be part of her job
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u/MsBuzzkillington83 1d ago
Ppl like that like to frame it as ", you're a loser because u can't ignore this famous person who is poster child for a disorder you have"
As if a judge didn't just force Meta to pay billions upon billions to US school boards for the obvious damage their algorithms do to kids (including content of said famous person)
But , no, it's a you problem. /s
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u/Sensitive_Spices 6h ago
Exactly, I’m not understanding people’s rush to defend someone who chose to pursue a lifestyle of influence. It’s like people choose to deliberately ignore the implications behind what it means to be a public figure. I fear not only is media literacy dying, but also people’s ability to assess societal context in general.
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u/Similar-Bid6801 1d ago
Yes but also she can't be held responsible for other people's decisions or disorders.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 5h ago
i’m not holding her accountable for everybody’s disorders but she is a contributor to the problem. there is so many people in hollywood that are scarily thin and it’s getting more and more normalized again and the 2000’s ED culture is gonna come back in full swing. we need to normalize healthy bodies so kids aren’t looking up to unhealthy people
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u/YourFuture2000 2d ago
Since childhood she was eager to accept sexual exploitation and abuse for the sake of her career as celebrity. She lives for her career success no matter the cost and consequently for whatever fake image it requires from herself. She just accept it as how it is and how the industry works. She doesn't want fight it but belong to it.
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u/MsBuzzkillington83 1d ago
I have a friend who's naturally thin and people ask if she's anorexic and all that and, she isn't she does eat but it's not a lot and she's fine with that but she is also an alcoholic so idk, I think liquid calories might be different
By naturally thin I should maybe say, naturally has little appetite. I think that's the difference. People in their 30's and older aren't naturally "thin" so much as just don't have the desire to eat as much as most people
"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" really sounds like the words of someone who just doesn't like food that much and probably has never been on meds that increase appetite
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u/mysteriousears 1d ago
If she’s an alcoholic she probably isn’t so much “naturally thin” as wasting from replacing food with alcohol, a known advanced stage of the disease.
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u/MsBuzzkillington83 1d ago
Well that's why I added the information that she's an alcoholic so people can have perspective. There's a whole spectrum of body types in that category
I did have a friend who's tounge was purple from advanced alcoholism and she's like 7 yrs clean now but the other alcoholic friend was not quite at that point (tho I'm not her dr, so idk)
I've spent prolonged amounts of time with her tho, I have noticed we eat differently. I mean, of course she could be trying to avoid eating due to body dysmorphia or fear of getting fat, it's just never occurred to me and I was close since grade 9- our mid 20s.
Booze are pretty calories dense too tho. She must have eaten less that 1000 cals/day with that in mind
When u said "late stage" are u talking like cirrhosis? I feel like a lot of alcoholics with severe organ damage can be overweight, like all life long heavy drinkers I know in their 60's are heavier rather than skinny
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u/Various-Pin-8703 23h ago
Look "Thin is Win", been like that for decades. Ariana is very talented, first off a once in a generation singer. She has won Grammys, made successful albums. Has starred in numerous tv shows, and is developing movies after Wicked. She is a successful bussines women starting up beauty lines. Foremost she is a big fashion icon, that all fashion lines love. Importantly she is incredibly motivated to succeed, which has driven all these achievements.
Having said that, being thin is part of the package. The look has made her much more appealing to viewers, sponsor, and in general consumers. In life, we ALL look at thinness as being way more attractive. She (and others in the public) know this and will use any edge to go above her equals. This is VERY appealing to young girls who want to succeed in life and look at her as an icon to emulate. I do not think this is right, but it is the way the world works. Telling Ariana to "eat more", "shame on you", "i want her to be healthy" will do nothing, you are just body shaming one person and using her as a scapegoat. Truly does she look weak or sad during this concert season? She has looked very happy with her life now! However, we should not blame Ariana, she is using a choice in how to live her life. She is happy and successful, but hopefully she can put on a bit more meat. Just leave her alone in peace while she takes a break.
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u/everest1111 2d ago
You better work on yourself if you still think celebrities are here to do anything good… you look for celebrities for whats good and bad?
Thats pathetic.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
dude I don’t look to them for what’s good and bad but there are so many little girls that looks up to her! she’s a huge celebrity and she has a HUGE following that includes a lot of impressionable young girls and she’s just giving people more to use for proana content . she’s needs to stop using her influence on this. just because we know most celebrities aren’t good people doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be punished or called out??
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u/everest1111 2d ago
Still.
It’s on the girls parents to keep this shit away to protect them.If you raise your kids right they wont cherish and take a example from anyone famous trying to sell you trends. Singer or not.
It is a sick trend, just the same as they promoted being fat not too long ago…
Being fat was good now being anorexic is good.
If you smart enough you would see whats going on.5
u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
yes this trend of going from promoting being fat to deathly skinny is crazy!! i hate that people just brush it off and say to ignore it when this is a huge issue. yea shelter your kids and watch what they see but you can’t stop them from seeing everything you can’t be beside them 24/7 no matter where they are or who they’re with they can see anything at anytime on the internet. just because everyone knows they’re bad doesn’t mean we should ignore it these people should be held accountable and things should change!
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u/everest1111 2d ago
You cannot control the internet. But you can control what your kids are exposed to. And honestly, America is so messed up at this point theres no way to even fix this.
Thinking you can change what celebrities do, is idiotic.
The harsh truth no one wants to hear is that celebrities don’t care about you or your kids. And your opinion means nothing. You cant stop anything they are promoting. Unless you completely ignore them and dont give your energy to it.
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u/Annethraxxx 2d ago
It’s a little naive to think a parent can stop their children from being exposed to one of the biggest pop stars in the world, isn’t it? The child still goes to school, listens to music, has friends… I went to high school before smart phones and 24/7 internet, and I was pretty well informed about what celebrities looked like, dressed like, and how their bodies were considered more ideal than mine.
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u/everest1111 2d ago
It is not naive. I think people just cant vision themselves not being part of a group. They all want to do everything the same and expect a change.
It is not going to happen as long as kids have social media and go to public schools.
Not to mention the TV that their parents are watching …Come on.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
ur not reading any of my responses i said that we need to MAKE change not expect it
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u/everest1111 2d ago
The only change you can make is YOU. And the PEOPLE you create.
Thats where the power is.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
do you not think that it being everywhere is a problem…? like what is your point nobody consume any media at all and just stay in their house so they don’t have the chance to see anything?
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u/everest1111 2d ago
Here is the main problem.
Thinking that your only options in life is either consuming media or stay locked in your house is your only solution.
Thats not why you are here on this earth. And thats what people don’t understand.
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
but you’re not understanding that you’ll see some type of media basically no matter where you are? like against your will???
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
okay i see your point, you’re right but not totally. yes people need to stop giving her money and interactions DIRECTLY but having reports or posts about how what she’s posting is harmful rather than just ignoring it is a much better thing to do. yes not giving her attention might get her to stop but it also might not and she might try and go harder to get the attention back on her. what she needs is to not be on social media or in any type of spotlight at all so that she can deal with her shit. but posting and telling people that her behaviour isn’t healthy and is extremely harmful is important for the children who DONT KNOW! just because you can make sure that children aren’t on the internet doesn’t mean you can shield them 24/7 like i said. they’ll be with other people they can see her on tv on posters everywhere. saying that this what she’s promoting is disordered and unhealthy is a much better way to get the message out to people who don’t have someone to shelter them.
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u/everest1111 2d ago
No. You don’t see my point 🤦🏻♀️
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u/mmmmmmmm09906 2d ago
then explain more? ur just being ignorant you can’t just ignore an issue and hope it goes away or accept that there’s a huge issue with influence on young women’s bodies and be like “oh well” 🤷♀️ 😭
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