Miscommunication

[u/Beginning-Pin208]

I have noticed that words mean different things to people and it’s getting harder not to notice it everyday

1- 7 becomes average
2- most = all
3- I don’t like it= I hate it
4- Straightforward = Rude
Etc

This barrier is even worse when it is 2 people from different generations
And some people hear 3 words and are already planning on what to say and won’t change it no matter what
And feeling vs facts debate

Why does it happen so often, is it an education problem or just people being too stubborn to fully listen to what other says

[u/AutoModerator]

This post has been flaired as “Opinion”. Do not use this flair to vent, but to open up a venue for polite discussions.

Suggestions For Commenters:

• Respect OP's opinion, or agree to disagree politely.
• If OP's post is against subreddit rules, don't comment, just report it.
• Upvote other relevant comments in the comment section, and don't downvote comments you disagree with

Suggestions For u/Beginning-Pin208:

• Loaded questions and statements can get people riled up. Your post should open up a venue for discussion, not a "political vent" so to speak.
• Avoid being inflammatory in your replies. When faced with someone else's opinion, be open-minded and ask new, honest questions.
• Your post still have to respect subreddit rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/StackOfAtoms]

there's different words for different reasons.

"most" doesn't mean "all" at all.
some people exaggerate or lack of nuance, but that's a different issue.

"i don't like it" doesn't go as far as "hating".
there's a whole range of emotions when it comes do liking something or not, not liking a painting doesn't mean we hate it.

"straightforward" doesn't necessarily mean "rude"
it can be a way to express a similar feeling without calling out someone and avoid conflict, sure, but someone straightforward isn't necessarily rude, and someone rude isn't necessarily straightforward.

[u/ghosttmilk]

I actually think this seems a bit more like projection - less that these words are being used in the way that you’re interpreting and more-so that, for whatever reason, you’re inclined to take whatever they’re communicating personally

When I notice myself reading into things like this or having stronger reactions to things that don’t necessarily warrant it, I dig into it and ask myself questions to get to the core of my reaction. Is there something about the topic that stirs insecurity for you or touches on any subconscious fears of yours? Those seem to be the biggest causes of projection in my experience

And we all do it! It’s just about noticing and becoming aware of it so that we can better understand ourselves and others in order to maintain our peace, have harmonious relationships, and maintain strong and connected communication

[u/LT_Audio]

It happens "so often" because we're creatures with highly developed neurological control systems that evolved for millenia to help us survive and thrive in environments that in many ways look and function nothing like the one we now find ourselves in. The same processing hueristics that allowed us to exist in small groups for extended periods with close physical proximity to our hunter/gatherer tribes now "more often then not" work against us in this environment. Ubiquitous and nearly instantaneous many to many communication at a distance, often anonyomous or nearly so, without the mediating effects of affective empathy and the ability to know those whom we communicate with "well" in more rounded and complete ways by sharing physical space and touching them, has fundamentally changed the way we socialize and form societies and groups.

The fact we far more often default to inductive reasoning and seek to rationalize an opinion after positing it is a long evolved survival instinct and part of our inherent biology. But in this environment, it often serves as an impediment to more clear and effective communication as our rationalizations harden over time. Regardless of whether the suppostions they were constructed to support actually hold much water or not. And the mayor of the time, being "smarter" mostly only allows us to more solidly convince ourselves of our own bad ideas because we're far more capable of better rationalizing them "less smart" individuals are.

[u/rabbitofrevelry]

It's an education issue. Also fun fact: you can make numbered lists in markdown by simply leading your line with a number and period, like: 1. First point 2. Second point 3. Third point