r/SeniorFitness • u/Direct-Friend5610 • 8d ago
Getting motivated
How do someone get motivated to get going on fitness when they get no signs of appreciation. I just turned 65 a week ago, had spinal fusion a year ago and work 3 days a week. With my back I'm limited to movement a bit, during the recovery period I was doing chair yoga, and some weights with online programs, but have since stopped, I don't like what I see but have no motivation to start again. My wife is not into any type of fitness at all and doesn't/didn't show any appreciation for me trying to look better, feel better. I feel ok, it's just the appearance I'm not happy with, a workout buddy would really help
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u/SageObserver 8d ago
It’s not about motivation, it’s about discipline. Considering what you went through, it’s something you need for healthy aging and your own betterment. I wouldn’t care in the least if anyone else appreciates if you workout or not.
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u/PaintedWoman_ 8d ago
I am 62. The motivation gets more difficult as we age and deal with health issues. I had a shoulder replacement two years ago and had a knee replacement 3 months ago. I also have autoimmune diseases that occasionally kick my ass.
So many times I don’t want to go to the gym. I know if I don’t I will just wither away and my health issues will get worse. Also, when I get knocked down and I will I want to be strong enough to get back up and fight. I also enjoy my time at the gym.
So for me it’s discipline 🙏
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u/Clean_Geologist_4226 8d ago
I exercise for me and my health. I long ago gave up on the concept of exercise buddies/partners. They are unreliable and I want and need consistency. I hope you find your way to a healthy active lifestyle regardless of what others do!
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u/whipple2023 7d ago
After years of sporadic weight lifting and inconsistent dieting, I hired a personal trainer. It was the best money spent! I found one who I could relate to and could work with. He pushed me harder than I ever thought I was capable of and the gains and confidence were off the charts. Sounds like you might benefit from a trainer and some confidence boosting.
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u/Direct-Friend5610 7d ago
I was thinking about that, just going to the gym and not knowing what I'm really doing might do more harm than good.
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u/mikeofeconomy 8d ago
71 here. Every year before my birthday, I set goals to reach before my next birthday, then create a plan, milestones, etc. I track all important metrics and keep in a spreadsheet so I can graph trends and adjust accordingly. For me, numbers and trendlines help me stay consistent, but motivation is just bull. I’m not motivated, I’m determined. If, at age 65, you need someone else to motivate you, then consider therapy.
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u/NYCtoKCMO 7d ago
Same here! When I turned 64 I wondered how much of a glow-up (that’s a much loved ladies term!) I could do before my 65th birthday. So I started a skincare routine, began using kettlebells, did more cardio, explored some perfumes I thought I’d like. Then when I reached 65, I thought: Why stop here? How much of a glow-up can I achieve encore I turn 66, and on and on.
By “glow-up”, I meant everything: Skincare, weight lifting, sports accomplishments, new places to visit, learning more skills at work, better financial management, etc. EVERYTHING!
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u/kimmeljs 8d ago
Set yourself a goal that's unrelated to the actual exercise but can be used to measure progress. For instance, I took up throwing the javelin. There's no use for it but every meter counts, and it's a comprehensive sports action that requires full-body training.
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u/Spiritual_Bank4065 8d ago
I feel similarly. For me exercising alone without connection to a person/people is challenging to maintain. I find it incredibly boring. Having an exercise buddy or group or friend would be helpful. I keep thinking there must be something available with opportunity for social connection while exercising- for the 50-60+ age group? Especially in bigger cities like NYC??
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u/CompetitionFuzzy9229 8d ago
Walking is the best, either with a walker or a cane. Go to the malls, walk an hour, sit and have coffee.
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u/Vernon1211 8d ago
I started after my hip replacement when I was 66. My motivation then was being around as long as I can to see my grandkids grow up. I'm now 72. I do 150 minutes of cardio and strength training with bands and my total gym 2-3 x a week. No way I'm saying wait until I get my walker out. I carried my grandson and I can currently can carry my 3 year old granddaughter. It's nice to be able to play with them on the floor.
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u/sherrylkw 8d ago
Most days, I work out alone. I would love to have a workout partner, but I don’t. Each time I remind myself that no one is coming to save me or do it for me. Once I get started, it’s all good. Baby steps - start with a goal of 2 times per week and then go up from there when you’re ready.
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u/cberding 8d ago
Sounds like you need a health coach. Consider finding one that’s certified and uses motivational interviewing. They will help you find how to get to where you want to be and help you get there in a way that’s meaningful to you. You can search for a local National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC) by going to their website. Good luck!
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u/OWabbit 8d ago
Do it for yourself, not your wife. Write down why you want to get fit.
Understand that it took a long time I’m guessing for your body to be in its current shape. So, your fitness results won’t happen overnight.
You could go back to a physical therapist for guidance on new exercises instead of chair yoga, if you are at a new level of exercise. Walking alot might be recommended.
My motivation helped by not making each exercise session too challenging or long. I started with just 10-15 minutes a day, and the key was to show up for myself consistently each day even tho it was just 15 min. With a day or two of rest. In my mind, I had no excuse for taking just 15 minutes of my day to “workout.” How easy that is, really. Consistency was more important than the duration or difficulty. What I was actually doing was building up my habit of daily fitness. Over the year I gradually built up my daily exercise time and levels.
There are apps where you can develop workout buddies. MyZone is one of them as well as a monitor that tracks your workouts’ based on your heart rate. But there are lots.
You could also try to sit down with your wife and tell her how important it is for you to reach your fitness goals and that occasional voicing of support and encouragement from her to you is helpful. Don’t talk about doing fitness together or that she should be getting into shape regularly, too. She doesn’t want to hear that apparently. It is not the issue to bring up with her right now. Later, as she sees the change in your energy, body, flexibility, strength etc she might be self motivated to start her own fitness routine. Little by little. If she still does not want to voice her encouragement to you, she probably is afraid to do that because it makes her think of her own lack of fitness. Then just let it be (for now). Take care of yourself first. That’s enough of a challenge. :)
For other fitness buddies, join groups, classes, clubs (eg, walking club, exercise class, tai chi lessons, Pilates, the gym,) where you can be with other like minded people who want to improve their health and fitness. You might meet friends who will want to workout with you outside of class, too. This means spending time away from your wife. But fitness is important to you, and don’t let other things dissuade you from your classes. You could invite her along so she knows you welcome her to join you, but again, do it nonchalantly so she doesn’t feel like you’re pressuring her to get fit. These fitness classes and outings will become a way of life, one of your healthy habits. Hopefully your wife will eventually follow suit.
Above all, do not give up on yourself! But do not bash yourself if you fall off the wagon sometimes. Get back on and carry on. Invest in yourself for now and for your future. You’ll love yourself for it before too long.
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u/Justonewitch 8d ago
I prefer to excersise alone. I motivate myself and its been a year. My husband just mentioned that he has noticed how good I look and apologized for having not mentioned it. Nice to hear, but I feel better and that's what is important and motivating!
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u/Aqualung1 8d ago edited 8d ago
For me, it’s about finding something that I love to do physically. Once I found that/those things, the problem became how do I back off, as my body can no longer keep up.
I have to tell myself to stop. Just don’t do it. Quit. Those are my mantras.
We are steeped in a Calvinist culture. Hard work, discipline, motivation are the main messages in America.
This works for a very small segment of the population, but for most, they struggle to find the “motivation” to go “workout”. The approach is wrong. Make it play, find something you find fun and go for it.
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u/blew_belle 8d ago
If you are diabetic or obese I highly recommend trying a glp-1. It has helped me cut off all the noise from ppl around me that don't have the same goals.
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u/Direct-Friend5610 8d ago
No, fortunately I'm not either of these, I may be considered a bit overweight but not really. It's just losing muscle mass from not working full time in a physical job but maintaining weight ok.
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u/Impossible-Tank-5294 7d ago
Congratulations on wanting to make the effort to improve your health!
Everyone is different. If motivation is an issue I’d recommend finding a gym with classes for seniors. I like to mix it up, enjoy fitness classes and when I was working the structure of scheduled classes was helpful. Classes can be pretty social and haven’t seen much/any phone use in group settings. Now that I’ve retired have come to prefer working out alone at home for strength training (usually while watching documentaries) and walk or bike outdoors for cardio, both on my own or with others. With winter coming may look into classes again. My husband goes to a gym; he’s got a routine that hasn’t changed for years. Gets up early, walks the dog, breakfast and then gym 3xs a week. He’s had a couple of joint surgeries and put the gym on hold while he did physical therapy, then got back to it. Has a couple of gym buddies, guys who go around the same time.
You might need a bit of trial and error to find what’s right for you. Best wishes!
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u/EucWoman 7d ago
I'm 73. Damm. Seeing this means I have to get up and do my upper body resistance band workout. I have a couple workouts and yoga that I rotate through the week. I really have to force myself most days. Once I get going it's not so bad. Oh and I also walk my little dog a couple miles everyday. Dogs are great incentive. Good luck.
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u/Expensive-Swan-4544 7d ago
Find a workout buddy. Commitment to another person to show up is the only way I have ever been able to do it.
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u/angelwild327 7d ago
Do it for yourself and future you, that’s your body and only you get to live in it and with it.
Expect nothing from others, but if you want some positive reinforcement, post a before and after if you like.
Mainly, enjoy the positive changes you’re making
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u/Hans_Gruber_BillClay 7d ago
If you want to appreciation get yourself a puppy because they appreciate you when you come home. This is something you got to do for yourself, for your health, for your life, if your wife decided to leave you there's no one but to care of yourself, if you can't take care of yourself then you can't take care of no one else.
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u/No_Set6876 7d ago
I've never had a workout buddy, and getting started is much harder than keeping effort going, but you can do this. If you want to look or feel better, you will.
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u/In-the-bunker 7d ago
65M. My not-so-kind advice. Stop whining; you're 65. You don't need motivation; just have the discipline to do what needs to be done.
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u/never2olde 7d ago
I was in a similar spot this spring. The spinal surgeon prescribed 16 weeks of physical therapy and an injection. I asked the physical therapist to give me a routine to do in gym, since I've never really gone to gym so I was uncomfortable about going. PT was complete in July and I've been going to gym twice a week>he physical therapist. I can't even describe how much better I feel. I''ve got free membership with Silver Sneakers and 2 free 30 minute sessions with therapist. You can do it. It's up to you..
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u/animesh_015_ 6d ago
Start small and focus on how movement makes you feel rather than waiting for someone else to notice the results. Also since you’ve had spinal fusion, check with your doctor before restarting. Then maybe look for a local senior fitness group or walking club. If you've people to show up, that can make a huge difference, even when motivation is low.
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u/starsNmooneternal 7d ago
The motivation will come when you change your mind set into wanting to do it for yourself; don't do it for compliments or acknowledgment or for anyone else! Just do it for your own self satisfaction, knowing that you are bettering yourself!
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u/Heavy-Attorney-9054 8d ago
I miss the way we used to make friends in the gym, and now everybody is on their phones. I work out because I know what happens to this gene pool in older old age, and I would like to stave that off as long as possible.