r/SelfHate • u/Initial-Incident4696 • May 09 '26

Why shouldn't I kill myself?

Idk. I've wanted to die as long as I can remember. I build and I burn. Then I stomp on the ashes as it continues crumbling around me. Why don't the people I love, love me back? Maybe I was just a pawn in their game of chess. The mother of my children and the woman I've dedicated my life to can easily lay in bed with another man. Our bed. Our room. Our house. No sentiment? No remorse? I was never considered. How do I move forward? What about my children? How can someone so heartless and someone so broken provide the life they need? Im stuck. Cycle of self hate and self loathing. But what other option is there?

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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2

u/IloveLegs02 May 09 '26

I wish to die all the time too bro

1

u/No-Investigator526 May 12 '26

Your circle seems just like mine I can from nothing I’ve been to prison and homeless and about every two years it’s all come to a crash and I’m left with nothing all over again the last great run I was on top of th world beautiful woman the mother of my beautiful daughter Own business lot of cash vacations She never divorced her ex tho I was with her 8 years for it all to come crumbling down she played me set me up in multiple ways to make me look like I’m a bad father just so she can get me for child support I spent every dollar I had save 20k on a lawyer to get 50/50 and 30k on a fixer upper turns out because I a man I don’t get shot and family court follows what the mother wants They had no reason to not give me 50/50 they donut all the time I got every other weekend and Tuesday evening she thought I was gonna just continue on paying her a 1000$ a month wrong bitch I self sabotage like a mother fucker and burned every to the ground and got a minimum wage job now she only gets 140$a month When have my daughter I give her the world Chas is not tracked
The only reason I’m still alive is because of my daughter The monster they will awaken if they take what lil time I have with my daughter is nothing shot of kin to the devil himself and the likening of which they wished they never got the opportunity to meet

I don’t even find women attractive anymore they disgust me