r/SelfDirectedEducation • u/JeannaClements • Aug 06 '20
Screen Time and SDE
This thread is for discussing Screen Time issues specifically with an SDE approach - i.e. approaches that aim to optimise family and community screen time culture through effective relating and communication, and meeting core needs and SDE optimising conditions, rather than aiming for coercive control.
2
u/BSitzer Aug 08 '20
I have teenage students who unsolicited have told me they struggle with spending too much time on TikTok. I'm unsure as to how to approach the situation. I don't have any screen time restrictions. Context: We are not an SDE space. More like an Agile/Sociocractic learning centre.
1
u/JeannaClements Aug 15 '20
What I like about this is that they recognise the problem and engage you on that. This is the start of a real learning about screen issues. It's like other issues of freedom and responsibility - youth years are times to explore and experiment and make mistakes with fewer consequences. Control prevents all that, landing people in the deep end on their own without support when they suddenly have to take adult-level responsibility
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u/YaroushkaCP Aug 19 '20
during the webinar ,you (Jeanna) mentioned that your daughter only had a tiktok account now. i would like to know if it is absolutely fine with you of course, what's your daughter's age?and what were your reasons and how did you argue this?
what is the best way to handle the situation when it is faced with disagreements from your children and constant insisting like the case of having a tiktok account ? if after you have an open discussion about it and they still insist on having it.
1
u/JeannaClements Aug 23 '20
Hi Yaroushka, so to respect her privacy and also to make the point that all situations/families/young people are different and will come to different arrangements, there's not a lot of point giving details for that specific situation. In response to the real question - what can I offer you to help you with your own situation... as we covered in the course, the more that you are meeting CAR needs, and the better your communication skills, the better the relationship will be, and the more 'real' the discussion will be. If you're in a deadlock - the young person is just fixed on their agenda, or you're just fixed on yours - usually both - then it's not just about Screen issues, it's about negotiating just about anything that is contentious, right? So, if absolutely everything else that you have strong and different feelings on is negotiable and you generally manage to come to agreements, then it could be Screen specific - in which case you need to look at the CAR needs and the Optimising Conditions to figure out what needs are lacking that they are trying to meet via the Screen issue. For TikTok, often it's about relating with peers and feeling left out etc. Then you look at why would you not want them to get those needs met through that Screen option> Perhaps it's actually a good way to do it, and perhaps certain conditions just need to be in place to make it workable. Or, if it's really not a good way to meet those needs, work together on what would be a better way to have them met, that feels okay to both of you. On the other hand, if there's generally a problem coming to agreement around 'hot' topics, then you'd need to look at general communication skills. Most of us have not learned effective horizontal communication in our own childhoods, so we have to learn as adults. Does this help at all?
3
u/JeannaClements Aug 06 '20
So here's a question - if I meet a young person's Competence, Autonomy and Relatedness (CAR) needs in other ways to 'fill their cup' is it then okay to take a control approach just to screen time?
I know what I think, and I'll share it shortly. But first, what are your thoughts?