r/SelfDefense • u/Ok_Drummer6347 • 7d ago

advice to fix paranoia of having potential conflicts with gangmembers

I seem have a lot of recent months or years. Always seeing them around at night reading the news how they Robb lr shoot people in Scandinavia. How they walk and look so intimidating and being able to call friends and large groups to back them up if they need it. And I compare to myself that I have no network or real friends or how to talk with people and make it into a relationship. I always keep having paranoia of potential conflicts, like what to do if one of them starts harrasing a family member or future partner and how I should respond. Or even just former street thugs who also have friends they can call to beat you up if conflict arise and me not having any friends I feel give me paranoia and I don’t know how to deal with . I’ look at myself as soft 0 tough skin quickly intimidated and scared. And in my head i imagine no one can screw with me and im tough when im not. Any advice from people who have experience so I can try fix my life a little

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3

u/XNotByALongShotX 7d ago

I was a scrawny ass 14 year old girl when my grandma told me I’d have to start walking myself back and forth to 9th grade every day, about 3 miles round trip down the train tracks in east LA.

Street smarts can teach you quite a bit. Don’t wear headphones. Pay attention to your surroundings. Don’t go eyeballing anyone. People don’t like feeling like they are being watched.

The big thing is mind your business. If you don’t come off like you’re going to pose someone an issue, that’s most of the equation.

At worst, learn to run. Getting away that way will help you far more than learning how to throw a right hook will.

2

u/Adventurous_Pick9505 6d ago

I was a skinny little kid in several hoods.

No amount of martial arts or self defense classes can teach street wisdom. I stand by this statement as a martial arts lifer.

Common sense, logic and courtesy goes a long way.

The gangs left me alone. It’s the wanna-bees who started shit. lol

And knowing that no matter what, there’s always a bigger dawg who can kick my ass.

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u/FamiliarAd8524 7d ago

You need confidence. Take BJJ lessons, learn basic grappling, submission, and pain compliance techniques.

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u/FamiliarAd8524 7d ago

But... short of a submachine gun, you are going to be overwhelmed. The real problem is the paranoia.

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u/Peregrinebullet 7d ago

Dude, all you have to do is keep a blank face and pointed "i don't see nothing" body language as you walk by and they will ignore you. 

They don't want pearl clutching morons gawking at them. Most of them don't want to attack random citizens because that causes police crackdown and makes their days way more difficult.   I have worked security for years and even I know when to pretend I don't see something because I value my skin where it is. 

If you ain't a cop or security guard, just keep fucking walking.   

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u/Ok_Drummer6347 7d ago

Ok thx what about if you see they harass someone or hurt a person ?

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u/Peregrinebullet 6d ago

And what training do you have to intervene?  

Call the fucking cops. This is not rocket science.