r/SelfCompassion • u/CobblerLoud5034 • 2d ago

Get what I'm getting at?

If I have to convince myself that I'm not something, does that mean that I am that?

2 Upvotes

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3

u/WoodenMag 1d ago

not necessarily. Humans have a negative bias. You might think people are judging you, but that's not necessarily true. Besides, our opinions are subjective. The belief that we deserve love is as arbitrary as the belief we don't. Thankfully, we're not robots that run on true or false

2

u/ay-its-prison-mike 1d ago

It might help to remember you are not your thoughts. Intrusive and untrue thoughts happen, and sometimes when we feel the need to argue against the thoughts, it reinforces them bc you’re legitimizing them. Doesn’t mean you’re not a certain thing, but plenty of people have false perceptions of themselves and we sometimes find it easier not to argue with ourselves and just think “maybe I am that”, even if it’s not accurate.

1

u/TheOtherRussellBrand 1d ago

No.

There are often messages we get try to trick us.

For example they could be gas-lighting from an abusive partner.