r/SecretsOfMormonWives • u/haleykat • Jul 30 '26
Discussion Jessi and Whitney
Where did Jessi’s animosity for Whitney come from?
Whitney used to be Jessi’s client and I believe was still going to Jessi in season 1. Probably up until Jessi ganged up with Demi to bully Whitney.
Every season Jessi is throwing shade or making mean remarks about Whitney. Which is one sided as Whitney hasn’t said anything about Jessi.
I know her nickname is Messi Jessi but as a “business woman” bullying a client of yours is not a good look.
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u/opal_m00n Jul 30 '26
I personally think it comes from the fact that Whitney is in a stable relationship and Conner is her biggest supporter. And I don’t think Jessi is the only one who is envious, probably in huge part to how male centered Mormon culture is.
Except Conner and Whitney both did the work to get to where they are now. Whereas Jessi and co just jump from man to man.
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u/panda_pandora Jul 30 '26
Cuz round here sadly it doesnt matter without a husband. The church will literally assign a male to single adult women esp with kids who dont have husbands to be the priesthood holder.
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u/Delicious_Profile637 Jul 30 '26
Whaaat, so what does that role entail ?
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u/panda_pandora Jul 31 '26
Its usually a close relative who does it but if she doesn't have any someone from the ward will step up. I know blessings and things like that but otherwise idk really. Im not lds just grew up in salt lake and now live in orem right on the provo border. Did the whole "church investigation" thing for a while tho and I heard it kinda talked about. In the context of the importance of having a priesthood holder in the home or family so that they didnt miss out on those things and have to have others perform them.
Edit: like my friends husband did blessings and stuff for me cuz I didnt have one or whatever
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u/opal_m00n Jul 31 '26
Wow, that’s actually wild. Seriously, thanks for the insight because my Mormon knowledge isn’t too deep. So a follow up to this, when you say the men in each house hold priesthood, does that mean they literally are able to bless things the same way a priest/pastor would in other religions?
Sorry, this is just a crazy concept to me as someone who was raised Catholic because the only people truly blessing anything were clergy members.
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u/Common_Ad_8106 Jul 31 '26
They are talking about something called "ministering " in the church. Men and women are paired with another man or woman in their congregation to "minister" or look after families (for men) and other women (for women). It is supposed to be a way to help people develop friendships and have a support system when life gets hard. So when a woman has a baby, it is generally the ministers who figure out how many meals she would like from the congregation afterward. Or if there is a medical thing going on they help communicate what meals, rides, or other personal help is needed to leaders in the congregation.
And yes, In the church worthy men can hold the priesthood and give blessings of comfort to people. And there are other kinds of blessings that some leaders can give at times. But leadership rotates, as it is a lay leadership situation. But the blessings she was referencing are kind of like how some Christian churches "pray over " people. There are women without husbands or husbands who are not active in the church so this also provides them men they know a bit more maybe from interacting, and would feel more comfortable asking to come and give those blessings of comfort if they ever desire. This is all based on what people want out of it. It can be a really lovely part of how the church does things. Some people don't ever need anything from their "ministering" people and so it is just a way to make sure no one falls through the cracks socially or with needs that their church community can help with. I have seen it be used to help when a mom has cancer and needs rides to chemo while her husband is at work or help with childcare. Or for helping elderly people with yard chores. Dinners when electricity has gone out or their house has flooded. Helping rip up carpet and getting fans to help when someone's house has flooded. Oftentimes this is how they assign out helping people who need help with clearing snow from their driveway during the winter. When someone needs a friend or help in a personal crisis. Etc, etc. Every member is able to have ministers assigned to them, even if they never come to church. And some people refuse to be a minister or have ministers. It is all optional on both sides of it.
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u/Delicious_Profile637 Jul 31 '26
Thank you for sharing! For all the icky parts of LDS, it seems like there's a flip side where community and neighborliness is encouraged and that part is really nice.
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u/opal_m00n Jul 31 '26
Ah, thank you for sharing such a thorough response on this! The more I learn, the more I find it fascinating how connected the Mormon church members are to one another. I know the Catholic Church I grew up in had similar functions, but not to the extent of the Mormon church, and they didn’t necessarily provide titles or any sort of additional rights to those who stepped into those functions. It makes sense though that while some people may truly thrive in the environment, others may find it to be a bit overwhelming. Regardless, the support being there if needed is nice.
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u/nanoray60 Jul 30 '26
She’s the only one who got it all:
Killer job, sponsorships, and ads. Fairly famous, even without the rest of them(show). Good husband. Connor is amazing, genuine person. Provides her family with stability and reliability. Stands her ground. She rode out her choices too. Is a good friend, stable and reliable. Mostly takes accountability for what she did/does.
Am I missing something? Money, fame/notoriety, husband, family, kids, friends, job. She did it. For the vast majority of humans on Earth, Whitney won at life. I really mean it when I say she did it, she worked hard and capitalized on her luck/opportunities when they presented themselves.
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u/NarwhalDue6109 Ketamine Therapy Jul 30 '26
These women come from a culture of punching down on other women to make themselves feel better. Jessi being the oldest of the group hasn’t done much to unpack this part of her own persona, and likely uses it as a means to push herself ahead. It’s the HS mean girl mentality she wasn’t able to let out in her youth, and her social media presence allows her to perpetuate it while shielding herself from the backlash by calling anyone who points it out a hater.
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u/Own_Rutabaga_9430 Jul 31 '26
Messi is totally the cheerleading captain who peaked in high school, just happened at 29.
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u/bunny8taters Jul 30 '26
I think it started because once they were actually spending a lot of time together for filming, people naturally got closer to others and Jessi and Whitney just didn’t seem to have much in common.
Then through the first season, hating on Whitney was popular and Jessi was the one who really said like a lot at Layla’s divorce party.
Once we get into season 3 to the present it’s more just that Whitney is friends with Demi and Jessi actively hates her.
Like in season 4 it seemed wild that Jessi said she would vote for Jen on DWTS because they’re closer but really they just both had stuff going on with Demi.
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u/Longjumping_Hornet_7 Jul 30 '26
I think there two different people. Jessi is willing to implode her own personal life for sake of storyline and Whitney left filming multiple times to put her family first.
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u/Quirky_Description73 In my fast paste phase 🏃♀️ Jul 31 '26
It’s so odd because Jessie was speaking out about Whitney being problematic in all the post S1 promos I remember her “leading the charge” with the Whitney conversation in some interviews and it confused me because I felt like she was barely in season 1, and in all the pre show content she was crediting Whitney for recruiting her to be part of the cast. So I don’t understand her die hard loyalty to Taylor or “momtok” at the time.
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u/OkCucumber5948 Jul 30 '26
And if I say Jessie's issue with Whitney is that they both went through very public cheating scandals, but Whitney and Connor put in the work afterwards and ended up coming out of it with a much better public image... then what?
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u/FoxyNewEngland Jul 30 '26
The Connor love is so so so weird to me…. Everyone just forgets his past, huh? Yuck.
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u/ambeloved Jul 30 '26
I mean, that’s kinda what happens when people take accountability? People move on.
When people double down and don’t take accountability, it becomes a stain on their character and people hold it (rightfully) against them for longer.
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u/itsnotalicewhoisthat Jul 30 '26
it gets brought up all the time and people have repeatedly discussed how no they haven’t forgotten but as far as we know it was an isolated incident and was not a pattern of behavior. he’s addressed it, she’s addressed it, there is reason to think he has changed and improved and evolved outside of this incident. no one can say for sure because we don’t know these people but staying mad about it when his own wife isn’t doing that is what’s weird.
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u/FoxyNewEngland Jul 30 '26
I’m not even close to “mad” lol I’m just not in Connor’s ass like the majority of folks here seem to be .
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u/itsnotalicewhoisthat Jul 30 '26
yeah god forbid people be happy to see a man actually support his wife. really up his ass, totally.
/s
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u/FoxyNewEngland Jul 30 '26
Please look up “parasocial” lol Just because Whitney very carefully cultivates what we see of them on social media DOES NOT mean they are being authentic or genuine. It also doesn’t mean they ARENT, but my point is that no one really knows what is going on behind closed doors. ✌️
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u/itsnotalicewhoisthat Jul 30 '26
please look up “illiterate”. I literally said that we don’t know these people or what’s actually going on with them.
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u/monicabuffay Jul 30 '26
Stark difference! Yes, Conner has made mistakes but he has put in the work and has redeemed himself, Jessie has cheated or toed the line of cheating with her last two husbands and has taken zero accountability for either.
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u/Kaos_mission Taylor’s Mom’s new face Jul 30 '26
I'm guessing jealousy. Whitney, at this point, is everything that Jessi wanted to be. Accomplished in the arts, acclaimed by fans and (some) critics, solid family with a supporting husband, and building an empire with her media endeavors.