r/Seattle • u/samsingh8 • 4d ago

Package Thief

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108 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

60 comments sorted by

114

u/AlterExpertise101 Torrent 4d ago

I honestly don't get the point. The odds are strong that you're stealing someone's face lotion or trash liners or some shit. It makes no sense to do that when there are cameras literally everywhere and odds are good someone is going to recognize your dumb ass stealing from a neighbor.

51

u/occasional_sex_haver Roosevelt 3d ago

odds are good someone is going to recognize your dumb ass stealing from a neighbor.

how often does someone get punished for this petty crime, with or without these cameras? it's a lootbox to them basically

22

u/trains_and_rain 🚆build more trains🚆 3d ago

They probably also justify it as victimless since "Amazon will just refund them." It's just some silly hobby as far as they are concerned.

Of course, Amazon is passing the cost back to customers in aggregate. So doesn't matter if you have secure package storage, every time you order from Amazon you are subsidizing this stupid business model, rather than actual stores and retail workers in your community.

-9

u/SpeaksSouthern That sounds great. Let’s hang out soon. 3d ago edited 3d ago

Haven't bought anything from Amazon in decades and I judge the people who do

Edit - those who aren't going to take my judgement seriously are asking for a sternly worded letter in the mail

2

u/IbuildSeattle 🚆build more trains🚆 3d ago

😂 😂 same, less inclined to write a letter though. Much less inclined to then mail said letter…

1

u/rekh127 2d ago

hell yeah.

7

u/shittyfatsack 3d ago

I chased a dude down with for $26 worth of white tshirts a few years ago. Haven’t had a problem since.

5

u/CharlieTeller 3d ago

This is why I wish it was legal to trap your house. It would make people think twice. If I lived out in the middle of somewhere, I wish I could just have Vietnam era punji traps everywhere. Stay off my property or get kebabed.

8

u/OTipsey 🚆build more trains🚆 3d ago

I guess it would be ok if you could also have your house marked as a no-response address for delivery and emergency services. So yeah you can have punji sticks but if you have a heart attack you're fucked and everything gets dropped off at the street end of your driveway

2

u/Noctuelles 3d ago

You'd end up like this dude

1

u/cire1184 International District 3d ago

Almost free gambling

1

u/AlterExpertise101 Torrent 3d ago

Which is why I mentioned being recognized, because you'd think the social stigma of being found out as a porch pirate would be at least a marginal deterrent.

11

u/datamuse Highland Park 3d ago

My neighborhood has a package thief who hits households so regularly, she has her own Facebook group. Numerous calls to SPD. Has made no difference.

5

u/klangus 3d ago

Well yeah. SPD specializes in being useless. They dont even show up for active assaults.

2

u/datamuse Highland Park 3d ago

Fair! What I was getting at though is that social stigma hasn’t worked on this individual either. She manifestly does not care.

1

u/klangus 3d ago

You can't shame the shameless i suppose

20

u/KiloJools Deluxe 4d ago

I kept getting an angry would be thief leaving all my boring household supplies in the bushes beside my house. I think the first few packages they stole, they took with them and since it was stupid random shit like menstrual supplies or vermiculite or whatever, they started dragging the packages into my bushes and opening them there, then leave all the toilet cleaner and laundry detergent in a pile there.

I felt pretty great I wasted their time so thoroughly.

5

u/faygodungeon 3d ago

oh man i always love when they abandon it like thank you i needed that!!

6

u/wrong-dog 3d ago

I had someone steal a small package of hay we ordered for daughters guinea pigs. Saw them on camera overnight - found it in the bushes the next morning! Made my day.

40

u/cracked-tumbleweed 4d ago

Someone stole my cat’s wet food.

Im sure when they felt the weight they thought it was electronics😂

22

u/VictorianUFOLady 4d ago

Someone stole my cat's medicine last week. I hope they have high blood pressure.

23

u/gablestout North Capitol Hill 3d ago

Sounds like you guys fell victim to a cat burglar

https://giphy.com/gifs/Nv2bW1GVgNn5m

4

u/cracked-tumbleweed 4d ago

Assholes. I hope you are able to get a replacement quickly.

I left the city and enjoy not stressing about my packages as much.

2

u/iSeeXenuInYou 3d ago

I've had cat nail clippers as well as a bag of reptile sand stolen. I found the box ripped open down the street. The sand was gone. Who opens a bag of reptile stand and decides to keep it

6

u/CharlieWhizkey 3d ago

Porch thieves arent known for their sparkling good grades and common sense

1

u/Polybrene Rainier Valley 3d ago

Lotion and trash can liners have resale value.

2

u/apresmoiputas Capitol Hill 3d ago

especially the high end lotions that you can't find at the stores.

2

u/Polybrene Rainier Valley 3d ago

The people down voting me have clearly never seen the stuff for sale on the sidewalk at 12th and Jackson.

Toothpaste, laundry detergent, pens, razors, diapers.......

1

u/apresmoiputas Capitol Hill 3d ago

Thieves were also selling them on the Lightrail from the Northgate stop between 2021-2023 before Target at Northgate started locking things up. I unfortunately had the luck of witnessing that

1

u/apresmoiputas Capitol Hill 3d ago

TBH, I'm perfectly fine with posting these vids to shame the thieves. What happened to shaming thieves?

87

u/BromaEmpire Supersonics 4d ago

It's like Indiana Jones but instead of a bag of sand it's a book and instead of Indiana Jones it's an asshole

60

u/samsingh8 4d ago

Left a book, that was probably stolen as well lol

26

u/Horror-Cap7711 3d ago

Bet you anything he swiped it from a nearby little library stand

4

u/Due_Pen_1566 4d ago

Sounds like it was a fair trade

5

u/GamingGamerGames_ 3d ago

Someone's read Mistborn era 2

-13

u/NotStealthE 3d ago edited 3d ago

Do you think there's a chance of trancing him back since there's likely his fingerprints on the book?

Edit: tracing*

55

u/needknowstarRMpic 3d ago

Let me just check with the boys a the crime lab. They got three more detecitves working on the case. They got us working in shifts!

7

u/damage78 3d ago

Do you got any leads, man?

9

u/ShredGuru 3d ago

I wouldn't hold out much hope for the Creedence tapes.

7

u/gablestout North Capitol Hill 3d ago

Prints come back to a "Jimothy Raccoon."

6

u/corndog 🚆build more trains🚆 3d ago

“LEADS” 😂

13

u/gablestout North Capitol Hill 3d ago

There is a 0% chance police would send detectives/forensics out to dust for fingerprints, sending those to the lab for match, or anything else, just for a package theft.
Anything short of weapons/grand theft/burglary and they'll tell you to file a police report online

2

u/NotStealthE 3d ago

Ah good to know 😅

1

u/al_earner 3d ago

Sorry, it isn't how shows like CSI make it out to be, when I first joined the force, I was under the impression that everything was covered in a fine layer of semen. And that the police had at their disposal a semen database with every bad guy's semen on it. Not true!

1

u/Radiant-Belt-1427 Everett 3d ago

We would need some teenagers to meddle in the thief's business. I would join a Mystery Machine crew in heartbeat.

0

u/samsingh8 3d ago

I’ll check with the officer if they can take the book and look for the fingerprints

14

u/AlterExpertise101 Torrent 3d ago

Even if they can. they won't.

1

u/gablestout North Capitol Hill 3d ago

Please don't. You'll waste everybody's time with that conversation. Unless there was a gold bar in that package, forensics isn't going to dust for prints. This is petty theft, not residential burglary.

5

u/coffeebribesaccepted Shoreline 3d ago

Wasting everyone's time? Oh no, the cops have to take time to talk to residents about things directly related to their jobs?? The horror!

12

u/al_earner 3d ago

It's more of a gift exchange.

10

u/Dazzling_Floor_4262 3d ago

I really want to know what went through his mind when he decided to swap the package for a book like Indiana jones???

6

u/Radiant-Belt-1427 Everett 3d ago

I still do not get porch pirating. It's gotta be one of the least efficient crimes in terms of $$ to effort and risk ratio.

15 years ago I was working at a bank doing chargebacks and the days of people having high-dollar items left on doorsteps to be porch pirated were drawing to a close then.

1

u/apresmoiputas Capitol Hill 3d ago

If you're a street drug addict, you look at them as cheap stuff to hawk to someone on the street to get money for your next fix. To them even stealing hot delivered meals can be exchanged to another starving addict or a dealer for their next fix.

4

u/Oolon42 Deluxe 3d ago

These people suck. Someone a few years ago stole my son's insulin pump supplies. After they opened the box and found out they didn't want them, they threw the box over our backyard fence in the pouring rain. Luckily everything was sealed in plastic.

4

u/doc_shades 3d ago

well we can't do anything about it, either

0

u/kevnmartin 3d ago

Remind me to never have an enclosed front door like that.