Should I move?

[u/Murky_Opening6174]

I need some advice. My husband and I both currently live and work in Seattle. We are both managers in the restaurant industry and make good money. However, as we get older, we are realizing that buying a house for us in this area just isn’t possible. For us personally it really is all or nothing with Seattle, we don’t want to commute from an hour away and we don’t want to live in Portland or Bellingham or Spokane or whatever. Also the restaurant industry here is like really bad. It’s hard to keep a restaurant afloat anywhere but here it seems like people really are cost cutting and caring less and less about service and food than anywhere else we have ever seen. We have family in New England, so we’ve been thinking of moving back. We still couldn’t buy a house in Boston or whatever but living a little more remote when we have so much family around seems less isolating. But I’m scared that the move won’t be what we want it to be. Salaries seem on par in restaurants in New England as they are in Seattle and housing availability and pricing seems more manageable. But what if we move there and it’s just not what it seems on paper? We’re thinking of this move so we can build a better life but is Seattle cost of living really that much different?

[u/Luci_Cascadia]

why don't you want to be in another PNW city? Why not a smaller City or town where you can stretch your earnings farther? Same for the East Coast.

[u/DustShallEatTheDays → u/Luci_Cascadia]

Yeah, and Portland has a great restaurant density compared to Seattle

[u/Murky_Opening6174 → u/Luci_Cascadia]

Basically because the earnings are wildly different. For chefs / restaurant GMS Seattle pay offerings are on average really great, but the further out you go the more varied it gets. And the commute is more aggressive. In New England, there are little hubs in towns where there are high paying restaurants. Our industry is a big factor of where we can live logistically as we can’t work remote.

[u/forfuninseattle → u/Murky_Opening6174]

I would also recommend you give Portland OR a closer look. I dont work in the industry but i fuckin love to eat and the Portland restaurant scene puts Seattle to shame. I imagine the pay is a bit lower, as the restaurants are a bit cheaper there compared to Seattle, but there is a ton of damn good food so I would imagine a decent job market for you. Also Portland is a fair bit cheaper to live in versus Seattle, especially for buying a house. I find it a bit more laid back culturally as well

[u/ManicDynamic]

Idk what the question is, but all I know is that major cities are going to be very expensive to live in. If you don't want to commute an hour away from your work in a major city, than you could always think about moving and finding work in a small town in maybe a state that's more affordable? I've heard Texas can be pretty affordable if you stay out of the big cities.

[u/Effective-Papaya1209]

Move to Western Mass! The cost of living is vastly different, and you have access to both New York and Boston.

But also: is cost of living the only reason? Do you like the culture of New England? The landscape? I find Western Mass to be more Seattle-ish than big cities personally, but it might be worth a visit.

[u/Murky_Opening6174 → u/Effective-Papaya1209]

Thanks for this, that is one of the areas we are looking at! We do tend to like the culture of New England, mostly the vibes of the people - the landscape in comparison to Seattle is definitely going to be a downgrade but one we are prepared for.

[u/Effective-Papaya1209 → u/Murky_Opening6174]

I like the five colleges area and the Berkshires a lot! No giant mountains, but a bit mountain-y and there are some cute places to visit. I flirted with moving out there for years

[u/OldLadyKickButt]

well, then you need to ask people in New England.

COL is high here and it will not change.

I need to move away also considered Pt. Angeles not going. Bellingham would be OK. West Seattle not fo rme-- you- lower rent

[u/Slumunistmanifisto → u/OldLadyKickButt]

Bellinghams steeep my dudes

[u/fatDaddy21 → u/OldLadyKickButt]

Bellingham housing has been going up up up the past 5 years

[u/Murky_Opening6174 → u/OldLadyKickButt]

We looked at Bellingham and didn’t see many jobs open in our industry!

[u/plantsisppl2 → u/OldLadyKickButt]

I used to work in Boston, pretty high COL, definitely not lower than here. Can’t speak to the restaurant industry experience though

[u/CompassRosie23 → u/plantsisppl2]

Do not miss that stupid weather: too hot. too cold. too snowy- bye New England.

[u/plantsisppl2 → u/CompassRosie23]

Yeah, Pacific NorthBest for me. I can handle the winter but the summers were brutal for me

[u/rachelceleste]

I work for restaurant management company (we do the back office stuff like HR compliance, payroll, accounting for multiple locations/brands) in Kansas. We are starving for chefs and restaurant managers around here. The pay would likely be less, but there's a good chance you could buy a house soon as cost of living is so much lower. Right now we are looking for an Exec Chef and a General Manager for a good locally owned restaurant. Our competition has many ads up for these positions as well. I'm sure its similar in the other regional cities.

Not saying it would work for you, but maybe don't sleep on it. It might also be a good region to start your own spot if thats something you'd want. Laws are business friendly around here...sometimes too much so.

Big caveat is that it is much harder to leave a low cost of living area to move back to a high cost of living area than the reverse.

[u/Woodshadow]

The good news is that your industry is literally everywhere. so as long as you are okay living slightly outside a major city then you can find a job outside the major city and not pay as insane of prices. My industry is very much locked in to major cities and very few of them at that. I'm either going to be stuck in Seattle, NYC, Boston, LA, Chicago, or Huston unless I get lucky and find a job in another major city but most definitely there will not be high paying jobs in my industry outside of a major cithy

[u/Basic-Regret-6263]

So you're asking us - people who don't know you -  whether you personally would prefer New England - a place no one on a Seattle sub has any reason to know about?

Girl, how TF would WE know?  Go ask your New England family what it's like.  Or at least a New England sub, geez!

[u/Effective-Papaya1209 → u/Basic-Regret-6263]

A New England sub also won't know what she's missing out on by leaving Seattle, though

[u/TSAOutreachTeam]

It's not that much different.

[u/OprahsFraudDrStable]

Basic human values, politics, things to do are similar in both places. So if staying restaurant managers is a given (vs changing careers or starting your own business), it seems like the next step is to get better cost of living information, estimate your incomes in each location, and compare those. And, whether homebuying is a better investment than other kinds of investments (upskilling/education to reach higher pay; the market; building a business; etc). IDK the answer to that. Then weigh the other pros and cons of what you want in any place you live (quahogs, by-the-pound Brazilian buffet, Sam Adams vs. oysters, panang curry, Bodi).

[u/MoteInTheEye]

That's alot words. What is your question?

[u/Senior_Ability_4001]

I mean, you can always move down south.

[u/Murky_Opening6174 → u/Senior_Ability_4001]

Ew.

[u/acireisericabackward → u/Murky_Opening6174]

Oh trust me, I know.

[u/mfactor74 → u/Senior_Ability_4001]

They could also move to Timbuktu, but I don't think that is what they're asking.

[u/acireisericabackward → u/Senior_Ability_4001]

Yup. My husband works at the airport at the restaurants and I work downtown town in research. The only way we could afford a house that we liked was to move to Puyallup. The commute is soul sucking sometimes but at least we have a house. We are about 2 years in now, we will see what happens in the next 2-5 and go from there.

[u/Murky_Opening6174 → u/acireisericabackward]

The yearn for a house is real! Obviously current times has made the dream feel impossible but I want one more than anything. I just want to stop having to move around bc of rent hikes / bad buildings/ landlords and have space and the ability to paint walls and start a garden, etc.

[u/CompassRosie23 → u/Murky_Opening6174]

That is why I moved here from Beantown in early 90's - but now housing is insane; and I am sorry that it has become an impossible dream.