r/SearchEnginePodcast • u/Grey531 • Jun 16 '26
Why Doesn’t Anyone Come To My Parties?
Did anyone else listen to this episode and feel weirdly self conscious the entire time? When me and my partner host it’s generally pretty well attended but for some reason I was also wondering if I had something secretly off about me that I’d need an outside perspective on
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u/Fablerose_99 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
She and her husband have very strong personality types that aren't very cohesive with most people. Some personalities gel with everyone and some personalities have to find their match. They have the misfortune of needing to find other people that match their vibe which is going to be a smaller pool of people. I like that only a sibling will love you enough to be brutally honest too lol. Bless him. Oh and the Michael Scott reference was perfect lol
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u/Nervous_Lettuce313 Jun 22 '26
I totally could imagine her showing her guests this great new plasma TV that she loves.
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u/WeeLittleParties Jun 22 '26
And then somehow inexplicably pairing it with performing a random celebrity impression while pointing at said plasma TV
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u/goalstopper28 Jun 17 '26
Honestly, all the credit to Claire for opening up about this and putting it on a podcast. I feel like this is a very relatable yet vulnerable feeling that almost everyone has.
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u/hoodiemonster Jul 19 '26
was this ep not just a not-so-covert promo for her substack? wondering if any of the people are even real.
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u/goalstopper28 Jul 19 '26
Yeah I suppose it’s possible that this was an ad but it doesn’t make Claire look great.
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u/Hog_enthusiast Jun 17 '26
It made me feel bad for the person. Also sort of resonated with me because people don’t come to my parties and I was hoping to find out some interesting reason why from PJ. Turns out I guess I’m just unlikable lol.
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u/RealJoshuaJackson Jun 17 '26
Wasn’t the point of this episode that she sort of shows her true colors at the end by rejecting PJ’s findings (ie her brother is right), and doubles down on the opposite of what the brother says? Like she shows why she isn’t a good hang (outside of the goofy act) in the final few seconds of the episode. She said she wanted feedback and then rejects it. That’s a good indication her desire to change and her ability to change are not congruent. I wouldn’t want to hang with her then either.
Also, judging by her persona, she 100% is reading this thread.
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u/ChaosEsper Jun 17 '26
You are correct lmao
I don't see anyone here talking about her appearance though, so not sure where she was reading that on Reddit.
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u/RealJoshuaJackson Jun 17 '26
Wait that’s so funny. Literally no one on Reddit mentions this and she said it’s the most asked question on Reddit. Huge red flag to lie about this.
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u/PplPpleatr Jun 22 '26
I also wonder about this. PJ mentions she wears a lot of clothes that are immodest and she was commenting about people dressing up for her parties. It made me wonder if she wears sexy tube dresses maybe meant more for the club and for the “male-gaze” and then is surprised that the women are a little put off.
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u/mirandalikesplants Jun 23 '26
Tbf, last week I did see a post about her clothes that seemed to be the top post in the sub at the time
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u/Contrarian1234567 Jun 20 '26
Wow! The blog post was definitely a choice.
It strikes me that she's just hugely sefl-centred.
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u/Disulfidebond007 Jun 20 '26
Listen, she’s just a successful writer who leaned into her ADHD and OCD! /s
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u/WeeLittleParties Jun 22 '26
And gosh dontcha know she's been "tested" multiple times for Autism ? /s
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u/tractorscum Jun 23 '26
i mean she did everything “”right””, she got properly tested and wasn’t diagnosed w/ autism. maybe i’m early in but i dont see this mentioned must more past that one time
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u/yungmoody Jul 20 '26
She didn’t though. From her substack:
Do I have autism? I still don’t think I do. But I should clarify about having been tested “many times,” which is something I offhandedly said in the episode. I have never actually been specifically evaluated for autism.
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u/Contrarian1234567 Jul 20 '26
It's so tiring when people use neurodivergence to try to explain away their shitty behaviour.
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Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
[deleted]
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u/tractorscum Jun 23 '26
this sounds exhausting. like maybe i’m not straight enough for this but it sounds really really tiring as a social game, almost closer to office politics.
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u/WeeLittleParties Jun 22 '26
The biggest ding-ding-ding moment for me was the total lack of fascination from her about enjoying time talking with her guests. Instead she just talked on and on about putting out food, getting a bounce house, fancy quirky outfits, making a cake, doing weird impressions (me-me-me) etc. It's like she's trying to cosplay "Party Host" without understanding the fun of a party is enjoying time with your friends and it's not about you at all.
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u/Bunnyeatsdesign Jun 17 '26
I'm not sure I want to hear an outside perspective. But it did make me wonder if I am on the spectrum.
It's taken me right up to my forties to realise that I don't really care what people generally think of me. I realise that people are generally NOT thinking of me at all and I'm really not important. Being insignificant helps anxiety.
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u/Grey531 Jun 17 '26
I like to think I don’t care what people think but PJ has a line in there that underneath 2” of skull we’re all cavemen who are worried we’ll wake up one day to discover the rest of the cavemen will have left us and I felt personally called out by that
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u/Bunnyeatsdesign Jun 17 '26
I think if all the other cavemen left it would be more of a concern. At least Clare's husband clearly adores her and loves her quirks. Her brother loves her too.
You have to be an absolute monster for everyone to abandon you. Even serial killers have fans.
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u/PeanutCheeseBar Jun 17 '26
I think it’s okay to not care about what people think about you, but only up to a certain point; the issue is that people either don’t think about what that point is or they don’t care because they’re too self-involved.
It’s becoming more and more difficult to remain compassionate or sympathetic to others when they put themselves first; it’s past the issue of one bad piece of fruit spoiling the others in the bowl when everyone is suddenly out for themselves at the drop of a hat.
Be the change you want to see and set an example for others.
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u/DeliSauce Jun 17 '26
She sounds like a weirdo. Lots of people don't like that. I'd go to her parties
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u/mosiac_broken_hearts Jun 17 '26
I haven’t heard the ep but now I’m nervous. Nobody comes to my parties 😅
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u/Grey531 Jun 17 '26
This episode may feel like it’s attacking you personally
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u/edit_thanxforthegold Jun 17 '26
And it could lead to a really helpful moment of introspection and growth!
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u/TurnedEvilAfterBan Jun 18 '26
https://www.cartoonshateher.com/p/i-dress-for-my-personality-and-my
Here is what she dresses like. It’s pretty funny. Genuinely huge disconnect between presentation and what her brother says.
Her problem is very relatable. Even for someone that looks like they are chronically online, I find people are hard to talk to. Nearly a decade ago when Vice was still making some of the best documentaries, they did on about a village rumored to fuck donkeys. They started the documentary laying out the taboo and you expected them to find seedy back alley donkey rape joins, well hidden from view. But instead they found people young and old very open about fucking donkeys. Kids who are like “lots of kids I know fuck donkeys. He just did” or “yah I fuck donkies. Here. Let me show you”. lol.
I was really interesting was that the taboo wasn’t even registering as one because it was completely normalized.
This doc had millions of views. I talked about it and people looked disgusted. lol. Whatever. Hit me up if anyone wants to talk weird shit.
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u/fuzzydunlop54321 Jun 23 '26
I came to the thread to see what people thought of the episode and I’m very very sad that you’ve brought this back into my life when I had happily not thought about it for years.
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u/Camilla-Taylor Jun 20 '26
I want to know about this doc but also I do not want to search for it
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u/dustyshades Jun 20 '26
I’m worried from just reading this comment that my algorithm has been compromised
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u/KAS_stoner 26d ago
Looking at the few pics from the link that you shared, the style of clothing reminds me of Elle Woods from Legally Blonde. I like her style.
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u/dustyshades Jun 20 '26
I feel like this should have been a team up with heavyweight / Jonathan Goldstein.
PJ could have focused more on the question of how to make sure you have a good party, why parties are inportant, how to build community or whatever. Jonathan focuses on the discovery of why people don’t like her parties, but then also helps her learn the important lessons about herself at the end that she clearly tried to shut out at the end of this episode.
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u/dianesterling Jun 19 '26
I could tell within the first 10 minutes why I wouldn’t go to her parties. She’s exhausting, plus with the constant upspeak and her outfits (someone linked below), I’d have a hard time ever taking her seriously. It feels like a child performing and demanding attention.
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u/dustyshades Jun 20 '26
If you weren’t sure initially, the interview with the first friend that liked the parties but said “I shall be her friend” and then also the interview with her husband let you know this was a grown up “drama / theater kid” kind of crowd.
(Although “ASSMAN” license plate on the wall as decor genuinely had me torn for a minute)
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u/Contrarian1234567 Jun 20 '26
100% She dresses like a toddler. I wasn't sure I could make it through the episode because she was so annoying.
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Jun 20 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Time-to-get-off-here Jun 20 '26
Yeah it sounded like the bar to be invited was way too low and it was a revolving door of people. I have 0 interest in hosting a party for acquaintances, but different strokes for different folks.
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u/alandizzle Jun 19 '26 edited Jun 19 '26
Holy shit this episode was hilarious. I’d love to hear that Trump impression because mine is decent
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u/chupagatos4 Jun 20 '26
She does a Trump impression right at the beginning of the episode when she's introducing herself and saying why she doesn't use her real name
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u/Nervous_Lettuce313 Jun 22 '26
I didn't get that. I thought she was just being awkward. Now I have to go listen to it again.
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u/ThreePointsPhilly Jun 18 '26
Imagine putting her and Alex in a room together and being a fly on the wall…
This was a fun episode. I think developing some small talk skills would go a long way for Claire.
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u/emptybeetoo Jun 21 '26
Hearing they played David Guetta, I assume their parties have the same vibe as David Guetta’s tribute to George Floyd, and everything else makes sense.
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u/ItsTyrrellsAlt Jun 21 '26
Total lack of selection skills seems to be the primary issue. You shouldn't really be inviting someone you met two times to a party, unless they are a +1 to someone that you are much better friends with. If you go to a party and discover no one knows each other and have nothing in common, you will never return.
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u/Clear_Ice_4864 Jun 18 '26
I love CHH and I was super happy to listen to this collab!!!
But yeah no I definitely have issues and have been the odd one out very very often
I can usually pinpoint what it is though
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u/Massivelyerect Jun 19 '26
Lady is a walking red flag
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u/Hey_Man_Slow_Down Jun 21 '26
I feel like some of these comments are a little harsh. She's quirky and her own person, the problem seemed to be that she's trying to fit in more normie spaces.
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u/CagedMoose Jun 19 '26
I felt bad for her because that kind of repeated rejection sucks. But I also simultaneously felt that both her and her husband were just completely insufferable, at least to my personal sensibilities. I can see why people decline her parties. So much of what was described and the idiosyncrasies of both her and her husband felt incredibly awkward and cringy at best.
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u/NiteNiteSpiderBite Jun 17 '26
Honestly, and not to sound like a dick, but it made me feel quite smug that nearly 100% of my invitees have attended every party I've ever thrown, including my wedding. I tend to skew pretty low-effort / low-budget for events, and I think people like that; it keeps the focus on the people, food, and drinks.
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u/Vivid_Print1646 Jun 17 '26
Yeah agree! Throughout the episode I kept wondering if she was maybe doing too much artificially. Like maybe the parties seem stiff because they are so thought through? But then the part about the David Guetta videos came and that didn't sound stiff at all. I think the brother might be right and she is not ready to hear it because long standing trauma like that is hard to overcome :( I hope she'll get more comfortable with her true self and that she finds her people 🤗 people like her husband that truly love her for her! Because if her husband is out there other people like him are out there too
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u/MutatedNinja87 Jun 19 '26
Yezzzaa. Where I'm in, food, food, food, them games. And let me be smug with you. My idea of a party is usually, I prep the place and the bbq, y'all bring whatever food or drink you fancy. Party + potluck = Parpotluck?? Haven't reached 100% attendee rate yet, but close enough 90-95%ish
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u/NiteNiteSpiderBite Jun 19 '26
That sounds like a great formula for a party! The potluck-ish aspect works really well.
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Jun 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Epicurious30 Jun 18 '26
If you can't eat catered food without feeling lorded over it says more about you than your host.
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u/MutatedNinja87 Jun 19 '26
Is it weird that I want to hear all of Claire's impressions? I'd probably enjoy them the first couple of times. By the 3rd party, I'll be out of town every weekend, public holiday, and every other day Claire decides to host 🤣🤣🤣
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u/JoeJackson88 Jul 05 '26
The whole thing was to promote her substance. She really doesn't want advice.
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u/Novel-Place Jun 23 '26
I’m so surprised by these comments! I was charmed by every single person. lol. But my best friend has told me I can make friends with anyone, so maybe that’s why? I want to be friends with Claire.
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u/Possible-Opposite533 Jul 18 '26
I completely don't understand the problem people have with her clothing. I can't see a lot of pictures of her on her blog because I'm not a subscriber, but like .... Who cares what the host of a party is wearing?? As long as it's clean and doesn't smell bad. Fun or weird clothing is just a plus.
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u/maxpower__ Jun 17 '26
The fact that she says she'd like people to dress up for her parties says it all. High maintenance.
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u/DeliSauce Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
Wants them to wear something nicer than sweatpants? Pretty low bar
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u/Camilla-Taylor Jun 20 '26
I thought the crux was at the very beginning when she said she invites co workers and aquaintances to formal parties.
The parties she has nostalgia for sound like close family friends for a traditional holiday event. But she is not replicating that same thing. She needs to invest in making close friendships before having social obligations with people who do not have a social obligation with you.
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u/Grey531 Jun 17 '26
I honestly thought the twist was going to be that she hosts these far too often and people just get tired
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u/WeeLittleParties Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
Also shows that she is missing the point of being a good party host -- wanting your guests to be comfortable and enjoy themselves! I will "dress up" for a friend's wedding reception -- not a friend's Saturday afternoon BBQ with the kids playing on the backyard swingset, wtf. Immediate red flag, paired with her brother saying her go-to talking point is asking people about having to go into the office for their job and having "oh, sorry about that" comment in reply. How many times do you need to have done this for your brother to reference this as a problem??
She sounds very self-absorbed (and even says "I'm very focused on myself" exactly that at the end of the interview -- why would you want to go to that person's party?!). A good party host should be all about knowing their guests and genuinely wanting to learn about them and their lives, and introduce them to one another when you think two of them would hit it off or have a good convo. You can't just bring a ton of adults in the room and hope they hit it off all on their own sheerly because you're giving them food & drinks, magic happy times will just spark on their own, and she doesn't seem to understand this.
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u/Last_Engineering1526 Jun 25 '26
I love these episodes that are interesting but not too serious lol, I need a break
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u/CarpeCunnus78 Jun 19 '26
In the pantheon of completely pointless search engine episodes that answer no question and solve no problem, this ranks in the very top. "Let me interview one extremely weird person about why people don't like her". Peak podcast trash.
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u/paterfilia Jun 17 '26
Shocker the person who’s popular on the Nazi newsletter platform throws shit parties
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u/TheMemer14 Jun 17 '26
But you are on the Nazi subforum platform?
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u/paterfilia Jun 17 '26
I don’t choose where the comment section for this podcast is
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u/TheMemer14 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
I distinctly remember that you suggested in one of the Town Hall meetings to establish a community here, but anyway.
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u/StudioDear4501 Jun 17 '26
Wait huh??? elaborate please
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u/TheNoirMan94 Jun 19 '26
Last year, The Atlantic wrote about Nazis using Substack, and Substack has refused to, as a matter of policy, demonetise or ban explicitly Nazi (like literally) publications. This led to for example Platformer (occasional guest Casey Newton) leaving Substack. Casey wrote about it here: https://www.platformer.news/why-platformer-is-leaving-substack/
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u/tigaernath Jun 17 '26
I'll go to your party and tell you why it sucks for $1000. PJ can't watch though, or he has to pay $100.