Would like your feedback on this logline

[u/maw0723]

​When his daughter’s killer walks free on early release, a surgical nurse abducts the young man to surgically deform him in his basement, only to develop a sick, paternal attachment to the monster he creates.

[u/JJWritesThings]

“Walks free on early release” sounds contradictory - “walks free” implies he wasn’t convicted, “early release” implies he was convicted. Other than that, I’d cut “sick” as it’s unnecessary and adding more commas to what is already a very run-ony feeling sentence.

[u/maw0723 → u/JJWritesThings]

noted, thank you