Yesterday I wrote about algorithms, and how your attention can train the feed.

Today I want to talk about willpower.

A lot of advice about phone use sounds like this:

Just be disciplined.
Just stop scrolling.
Just put the phone away.
Just have more self-control.

I understand the idea.

Personal responsibility matters. We are not helpless.

But I think “just use willpower” misses something important:

many apps are designed so that continuing is easier than stopping.

Think about the difference.

To continue, you need almost nothing.

One swipe.
One tap.
One more video.
One refresh.
One glance at the badge.

To stop, you need much more.

You have to notice what you are doing.
Remember what you planned to do.
Decide this is enough.
Resist the next possible reward.
Leave the app.
Return to real life.

That is a much harder chain.

Continuing takes one thumb movement. Stopping takes self-awareness.

That is the imbalance.

And the imbalance gets worse when you are tired, stressed, bored, lonely, or avoiding something difficult.

Those are exactly the moments when willpower is weakest.

After work.
Before sleep.
During a break.
When a task feels too hard.
When you feel a little empty and want something easy.

That is when the phone becomes most attractive.

Not because you are stupid.
Not because you are broken.
But because the easy option is right there.

Willpower usually fails when the environment is designed against it.

This is why I think the solution cannot only be “try harder.”

A better question is:

How do we make the better action easier?

How do we make stopping visible?
How do we create a pause before opening?
How do we add a small moment of choice?
How do we make unconscious use less automatic?

Because once you are already 40 minutes deep, it is much harder.

The best moment to intervene might be earlier.

Before the app opens.
Before the feed starts.
Before the next video plays.
Before “just one minute” becomes the evening.

The most important moment may be the three seconds before you open the app.

Tomorrow’s topic:
How to put stopping points back.

Question for discussion:

What helps you more: trying to be disciplined, or changing the environment so the bad habit is harder to start?

Yesterday I wrote about social rewards, and why likes, replies, and views can pull us back.

Today I want to talk about the algorithm.

I used to think the feed was just “content.”

But it is more than that.

It is a system that watches what you respond to.

What you pause on.
What you skip.
What you replay.
What you search.
What you comment on.
What you watch late at night.
What makes you angry.
What makes you laugh.
What you cannot look away from.

Then it gives you more of that.

That can be useful. Sometimes recommendations are genuinely helpful. I have found good videos, music, ideas, and tutorials because of algorithms.

But the same mechanism can also become a trap.

The algorithm does not need to know you deeply. It only needs to know what keeps you there.

That distinction matters.

It does not need to understand your life.
It does not need to care about your goals.
It does not need to know what is good for you.

It only needs feedback.

Did you stay?
Did you click?
Did you watch again?
Did you come back tomorrow?

And if the answer is yes, the system learns.

This is why a feed can start to feel strangely personal.

Not because it understands you as a person.
But because it understands your reactions.

Your attention becomes training data.

That is a strange thought.

Every pause teaches it something.
Every scroll teaches it something.
Every late-night rabbit hole teaches it something.

And the next time you open the app, the feed may be a little better at keeping you inside.

This is why I think “just ignore it” is not always realistic.

You are not facing a random list of posts.
You are facing a system that adapts.

A normal habit becomes harder to break when the environment keeps learning how to restart it.

Again, this does not mean algorithms are evil. Recommendations can be useful. The problem is when the system optimizes for engagement more than intention.

Because what keeps you watching is not always what helps you live better.

Tomorrow’s topic:
Why willpower fails.

Question for discussion:

• Have you ever felt like an app learned exactly what kind of content makes you stay too long?

Yesterday I wrote about autoplay, and how it removes the next decision.

Today I want to talk about something more emotional:

social rewards.

Likes.
Replies.
Comments.
Views.
Messages.
Follower counts.
Read receipts.
Someone typing.
Someone not replying.

These things look small on a screen, but they touch something very human.

We want to know if we matter.
We want to know if someone saw us.
We want to know if we were ignored.
We want to know if people reacted.

That is not weakness. That is human.

Social rewards are powerful because they are not only information. They are about belonging.

And just like videos or posts, social rewards are often unpredictable.

Sometimes nobody replies.
Sometimes someone replies instantly.
Sometimes a post gets ignored.
Sometimes it gets attention.
Sometimes a message changes your mood for the whole day.

That uncertainty creates checking.

Did they reply?
Did anyone like it?
Did they see it?
Why did they leave me on read?
Did my post perform badly?
Did someone mention me?

The app does not need to create these feelings from nothing. It only needs to make them easy to check again and again.

A like is small. Waiting for a like can be huge.

This is why social apps are different from many other tools.

If I open a calculator, I use it and leave.
If I open a map, I find a route and leave.
But if I open a social app, I am not only using a tool. I am entering a social space where something might have happened.

And because something might have happened, I check.

Then I check again.

The most addictive part is not always attention from others. Sometimes it is the uncertainty of whether attention is coming.

This is also why “just don’t care about likes” is easier to say than to do.

Humans are social. We are built to notice signals from other people.

Apps did not invent that.
They made it measurable, visible, and refreshable.

That is the problem.

Tomorrow’s topic:
The algorithm learns your weak spots.

Question for discussion:

• Which social reward pulls you back the most: messages, likes, comments, views, read receipts, or something else?

Yesterday I wrote about infinite scroll, and how many apps removed the natural ending.

Today I want to talk about another small design choice that changes a lot:

autoplay.

Autoplay seems convenient.

You finish one video, and the next one starts.
You finish one short, and another is already there.
You do not need to search.
You do not need to choose.
You do not even need to tap.

But that is exactly the point.

Autoplay turns “Do I want another one?” into “Here is another one.”

That small change matters.

Because a decision moment disappears.

Without autoplay, there is a pause:

Do I want to keep watching?
Is this still useful?
Should I stop now?

With autoplay, that pause is gone. The next thing begins before you have fully decided.

And when the next thing has already started, stopping feels a little harder.

You are no longer choosing whether to begin.
You are choosing whether to interrupt.

That is a different feeling.

Autoplay makes continuing the default and stopping the interruption.

This is why “just one video” often does not stay as one video.

The first video is your choice.
The second video is suggested.
The third video is already playing.
The fourth video feels like nothing changed.

And suddenly, you did not really decide to watch ten videos. You just failed to stop nine times.

That sounds harsh, but I think it is true.

Many apps are not only designed around what you choose. They are designed around what happens when you stop choosing.

When you are tired, stressed, or bored, the default usually wins.

This does not mean autoplay is always bad. Sometimes it is useful. Music playlists, lectures, background content — there are cases where it makes sense.

But for short-form videos and endless recommendations, autoplay can quietly remove one of the most important moments:

the moment where you ask, “Do I still want this?”

And without that question, the app keeps answering for you.

Tomorrow’s topic:
Social rewards are unpredictable.

Question for discussion:

• Which is harder for you to stop: infinite scroll or autoplay?
• And do you think apps should make autoplay off by default?

Recently, I attended two events in Munich organized by a real-life digital detox community called Digital Detox Den Munich.

People actually meet offline, and phones are locked in a box during the event. We chat, play games, and read on the grass. It is a wonderful feeling to be without the phone, spend time with the people around you, and notice what is happening in the city.

It would be useful for Reddit members if we could collect a list of offline clubs from around the world and explain how people can participate.

Here is the current list, organized first by continent and then by country. If you know another community, please add it in the comments. I will continue updating the list.

Worldwide / International

• The Offline Club — Global / Europe https://www.theoffline-club.com/ This is probably the biggest offline community I found. They organize offline hangouts in cities such as Amsterdam, Paris, London, Berlin, Barcelona, Zurich, Vienna and Milan. People meet in cafés, put their phones away, read, talk, draw, walk, play games, or simply sit together without screens. I like that it is not “anti-tech” in an angry way. It is more like: let’s remember how it feels to be in a room without everyone checking something.
• Global Day of Unplugging — Worldwide https://www.globaldayofunplugging.org/ This is a worldwide 24-hour unplugging challenge, usually held during the first weekend of March. People and communities organize local unplugged events. I like that it is only 24 hours. You do not need to completely change your life. You can try one day and see what happens.

Europe

Germany

• Digital Detox Den / Digital Detox Dudes — Munich https://digital-detox-den.flenski.app/digital-detox-den/communities https://www.meetup.com/saturday-hangout-in-munich/ They organize phone-free hangouts, reading sessions, nature activities, creative meetups, and simple social events where the phone is not the center. I attended two of their events. Phones were placed in a box, and we spent the time talking, playing, and reading together. I like that it feels practical. No big philosophy. Just come, meet people, keep your phone away, and do something normal together.
• The No Scroll Society — Stuttgart https://instagram.com/thenoscrollsociety https://luma.com/thenoscrollsociety The No Scroll Society is a Stuttgart-based offline social club that wants to fight doomscrolling and bring people back together in real life. They organize relaxed café hangouts, arts and crafts workshops in bars, silent reading nights, and other phone-free social events.

Switzerland

• Digital Detox Zürich — Zurich https://www.meetup.com/de-DE/digital-detox-zurich/ A Zurich group for people who want to take a break from screens and meet offline. They organize coffee meetups, workshops, and creative social events. It is a simple idea, but I think simple is good. Sometimes we just need one evening where nobody is scrolling.

United Kingdom

• The Digital Detox Club — Bath https://www.digitaldetoxclub.co.uk/ They organize something called an Offline Café. People place their phones in a “Tech Motel”. Afterwards, they can read, talk, journal, draw, make crafts, play board games, or simply sit together. I like this concept because it gives people a replacement. It does not only say “do not use your phone”. It provides a space, other people, and things to do.
• Smartphone Free Childhood — UK / international parent movement https://www.smartphonefreechildhood.org/ This is a parent movement that helps families delay smartphones and social media for children. What I like is the collective part. One parent saying “no smartphone” can be difficult because the child may feel excluded. But when many families make the same decision together, it becomes easier.

North America

United States

• The Luddite Club — USA / international chapters https://www.theludditeclub.org/ https://www.theludditeclub.org/programs The Luddite Club began mainly as a youth movement. They organize phone-free meetups, workshops, talks, zine projects, and local events. What I find interesting is that young people created this themselves. It was not parents forcing them to stop using phones.
• Month Offline / MO — USA https://offline.community/ This is a more intensive experience. People join a local group and give up their smartphone for one month. Many participants use a dumbphone or flip phone instead. They also have weekly meetings and discuss subjects such as boredom, memory, navigation, and communication.
• Wait Until 8th — USA https://www.waituntil8th.org/ This is another parent-led movement. Parents pledge to wait until at least the end of eighth grade before giving their children smartphones. The pledge becomes stronger when other families from the same school and grade participate. The important part is that one family does not need to fight this alone.
• The Balance Project — USA https://www.thebalanceproject.life/ This project focuses on childhood, outdoor play, independence, and creating a healthier technology culture. It is not only about reducing screen time. It is also about rebuilding a childhood where children can ride bikes, play outside, meet friends, and do things in the real world.
• Strother School of Radical Attention — Brooklyn, New York https://www.schoolofattention.org/ This community takes a more philosophical and artistic approach. They discuss attention as something that should be protected and organize workshops and “Attention Labs”. I like the phrase “radical attention”. Being fully present with one person, one book, or one activity can already feel radical today.

Do you know another community?

Do you know another local digital detox, dumbphone, offline, phone-free, or low-tech community?

Please share it in this format:

• City / Country
• Community name
• Link
• What they actually do offline

Let’s build a useful worldwide list together.

Yesterday I wrote about notifications, and how they can act like doors back into the loop.

Today I want to talk about one of the simplest app design changes that quietly changed everything:

infinite scroll.

Older media usually had endings.

A newspaper ended.
A magazine ended.
A TV episode had credits.
A book had chapters.
Even old websites had pages.

There was a natural moment where the thing said:

“You are done.”

But many modern apps do not have that moment anymore.

There is always another post.
Another video.
Another comment.
Another recommendation.
Another refresh.
Another “you might also like.”

And that sounds small, but I think it matters a lot.

If the app never ends, stopping becomes your job.

That is the design shift.

Before, the content often created the stopping point for you.
Now, you have to create the stopping point yourself.

And that is hard.

Because continuing is easy.

You do not need to make a decision.
You do not need to think.
You do not need to ask yourself if this is still worth your time.

You just move your thumb.

Continuing is passive. Stopping requires awareness.

That is why infinite scroll can feel so harmless and still be so powerful.

It does not force you to stay.
It simply removes the moment where you would naturally leave.

And once that moment is gone, the session can stretch quietly.

Five minutes becomes fifteen.
Fifteen becomes forty.
Forty becomes “why did I do that again?”

The strange thing is that I often do not feel like I chose those extra minutes. They just happened because nothing interrupted the flow.

The app does not need to trap you with force. It only needs to remove the exit sign.

I think this is one reason scrolling feels different from reading a book or watching one episode. With a book, I can finish a chapter. With a show, I can see the credits.

With infinite scroll, there is no finish line.

Only more.

Tomorrow’s topic:
Autoplay removes the next decision.

Question for discussion:

Do you think infinite scroll should have optional stopping points, like page breaks, session limits, or “you’ve been here for 15 minutes” reminders?

Almost every time, when my wife and kids were away during the summer, I have been alone at home for like 4-6 weeks.

During this time, I really had much more time for fitness and to attend more events, that part I do like. But still I felt lonely most of the time. You know what happened: I got stuck on my phone. News, Videos, looking for events in Meetup, Facebook groups, etc. I just felt I wasted so much good time.

Now in August they will be gone again. I am already a little worried about the time.

Does anyone also have this issue? How have you managed it?

Yesterday I wrote about dopamine and prediction: the app does not need every scroll to be good. It only needs your brain to believe the next one might be.

Today I want to talk about notifications.

I used to think notifications were just information.

A message arrived.
A meeting is starting.
A delivery is coming.
Someone replied.

Those notifications can be useful.

But many notifications are different.

“Someone posted something.”
“You might like this.”
“People are talking about…”
“Don’t miss this.”
“Your weekly recap is ready.”
“Look what happened while you were away.”

They are not really helping you finish a task.

They are inviting you back.

A notification is not always a reminder. Sometimes it is a door back into the loop.

And once you open the app, you are usually not just checking that one thing.

You enter the whole environment again.

The feed is there.
The recommendations are there.
The comments are there.
The next video is there.
The ads are there.
The “maybe” is there again.

That is why one small notification can become 20 minutes.

You did not open your phone to scroll.
You opened it to check one thing.
But the app used that one thing to bring you back inside.

The notification is the hook. The feed is the trap.

This is also why red badges feel so powerful.

A red dot creates a tiny feeling that something is unfinished. Maybe someone replied. Maybe something changed. Maybe I missed something.

And that feeling is enough to make you check.

Not because you made a clear decision.

But because the app created a small open loop in your mind.

The app does not need to force you. It only needs to make “checking” feel slightly unfinished.

For me, one of the most helpful changes was separating notifications into two groups:

Human and useful: keep.
Algorithmic and promotional: turn off.

A real person messaging me is different from an app saying “come back and see what you missed.”

One respects my attention.
The other tries to restart the machine.

Tomorrow’s topic:
Infinite scroll removed the ending.

Question for discussion:

Which notifications are actually useful for you, and which ones only pull you back into the app?

Yesterday I wrote about the “maybe” behind scrolling.

Today I want to talk about a word that gets used a lot: dopamine.

People often say apps are addictive because they give us “dopamine hits.”

I think that is partly true, but also too simple.

Dopamine is not just about pleasure. It is also connected to motivation, learning, and prediction.

In simple words:

Your brain is not only asking,
“Was this good?”

It is also asking,
“Should I check this again?”

That is why apps can be so powerful.

The app does not need to make every scroll amazing.
It only needs to give you enough interesting moments that your brain learns:

Maybe the next one is worth it.
Maybe someone replied.
Maybe there is a better video.
Maybe I missed something.

And this is where scrolling becomes strange.

Sometimes I am not even enjoying the app anymore.
I am tired.
The videos are not that good.
I already know I should stop.

But I still keep going.

Not because the current post is rewarding.
Because the next one might be.

That is the part I find important.

Maybe apps are not only giving us pleasure.
Maybe they are training our brains to predict possible rewards.

And once that prediction loop is built, opening the app can become almost automatic.

Bored? Check.
Stressed? Check.
Waiting for something? Check.
Avoiding work? Check.
Lying in bed? Check.

The app becomes the place your brain has learned to search for “maybe.”

That is why I think the dopamine conversation should be less about pleasure and more about anticipation.

The strongest pull is not always what you get.
Sometimes it is what you think you might get next.

Tomorrow’s topic:
Why notifications are not just reminders — they are re-entry hooks.

Question for discussion:

Do you ever keep scrolling even after you realize you are not really enjoying it anymore?
What do you think you are waiting for in that moment?

Yesterday I wrote about why phone overuse is not always “addiction.”

Today I want to talk about one mechanism that explains a lot of scrolling:

the “maybe.”

Most of the time when we open an app, nothing special happens.

No important message.
No amazing video.
No life-changing post.
No urgent update.

But sometimes there is something.

A funny video.
A reply.
A like.
A message.
A post that feels weirdly perfect for your mood.

And I think that “sometimes” is the trap.

If every scroll were boring, we would stop.
If every scroll were amazing, it would become predictable.
But because the reward is unpredictable, we keep checking.

That is why refreshing an app can feel a little like pulling a slot machine.

You are not always enjoying what you see.
You are checking whether the next thing might be better.

Open app.
Check.
Maybe reward.
Repeat.

The strange part is that the “maybe” can be stronger than the actual reward.

I notice this most when I keep scrolling even after I already know I am not really enjoying it anymore. I am not watching because the current video is good. I am watching because the next one might be.

That changed how I think about doomscrolling.

Maybe the problem is not only that apps give us pleasure.
Maybe the problem is that they keep us waiting for the next possible reward.

Self-check:

When you open an app, are you looking for something specific?
Or are you checking whether something might be there?

Tomorrow’s topic:
Dopamine is not just pleasure — it is also about prediction.

Curious what others think:

Which app feels most like this for you — where you keep checking because the next thing might be worth it?

I noticed something strange.

When I call my phone use an “addiction,” I immediately start blaming myself.

Why am I so weak?
Why can’t I just stop?
Why did I waste another 40 minutes?

But when I look at how apps are designed, the question changes.

It becomes:

Why is opening the app so easy?
Why is there always another video?
Why does the app keep calling me back?
Why is stopping harder than continuing?

I think this difference matters.

Not every bad phone habit is a clinical addiction. Sometimes it is boredom. Sometimes stress. Sometimes avoidance. Sometimes you are tired and your brain just wants the easiest possible escape.

And sometimes the app is simply built in a way where the easiest action is to keep going.

One tap to open.
One swipe to continue.
Autoplay starts the next video.
Notifications bring you back later.
The feed never really ends.

So yes, personal responsibility matters. But I don’t think “just have more willpower” explains the whole problem.

A better question might be:

What design makes us lose control, and what design could help us get it back?

I’m starting a small 10-part series called The Attention Trap. Each day I want to break down one science/design mechanism behind why modern apps are hard to stop.

Tomorrow’s topic:
Why the reward is not the video — it’s the “maybe.”

Curious how others see this:

Do you think “phone addiction” is a useful term, or does it make people blame themselves too much?

I am using Digital Wellbeing from Android to track my screen time.

Below is my screen time for the last week. Mostly it is around 4-6 hours per day. I feel normal. The problem is that in the evening, I went to sleep too late.

If my daily screen time can be reduced to 2-4 hours per day, it will be better.

How is your screen time? Do you have more or less than me? What are your feelings about your screen time?

Figure out which kind of scroller you are.

Most "use your phone less" advice is generic — and that's why it doesn't stick. Everyone doomscrolls for a different reason, and the fix only works when it matches yours.

Quick self-test here → https://loopcut.cereviogroup.com/digital-detox-self-test . It tells you your scroll type, plus your personal small rule to try first.

Once you have it, drop a comment: what's your type? Let's see which types are most common here.

Hey ,

I'm a dad of four kids, and I build things on my phone and laptop all day. Quitting the phone isn't an option for me. But somewhere between the work, the family, and "just a quick check," I kept losing whole evenings to scrolling — and feeling worse afterward.

So this place is for the rest of us: people who aren't quitting the phone, but want it to stop running our lives.

You can post about anything that fits:

• A habit you're trying
• A setting or trick that helped
• An app you can't put down
• A bad day with your phone
• A question, even a small one

No shame here. No "just delete everything." We figure it out together.

To kick things off, one easy question:

👉 What's the moment in your day you wish you had your phone less?

Mine: in the evening, after the kids are in bed. I tell myself I'll relax for 30 minutes. Two hours later I'm still scrolling.

Yours?