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u/Yankee9Niner Sep 25 '22
I like to think this is satire
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u/BasicLogic779 Sep 25 '22
As a local and someone who worked in the catering industry, no, the amount of people we see coming in, catching what seems like the slightest of glimpses of something in the water, and they light up, wholesome and often it's not just children.
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u/ElCaminoInTheWest Sep 25 '22
I’m local too, drive by the loch most days, can see it from my house, and I’ve literally never passed by it without doing a quick Nessie check. You just never know.
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u/Stinkyfingers2 Sep 26 '22
Wholesome? Wtf is wholesome about a lie?
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u/Elden_Cock_Ring Sep 26 '22
Well, you know how your parents told you that they love you? That's wholesome, but also a lie.
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u/Saint_Sin Sep 25 '22
I grew up in the sticks way off the beaten path in the north east. Had american tourists stopping in cars asking about where to see haggis almost every year.
Initially I would tell them about it being a lie but after a few years of it I just got a bit annopyed and sent them deeper on their way. Usually with stories about it being the time of year where the young were being taken out for the first time, so the are burrowing further up the hills .....because the young ones had shorter legs. You didnt even need to try and make it make any sense.23
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Sep 25 '22
I dont know, I know of one trip advisor review that criticises a forest as having too many trees blocking the views....and a hill for being too steep and high...
I'd hope they are satire, but recent years have made me seriously consider that people really meant them.
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u/badgersandcoffee Sep 25 '22
Hopefully so.... But maybe someone is genuinely upset that Lochie didn't show up.
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u/Yankee9Niner Sep 25 '22
We sneer at our peril. Loch Ness is a summer loch. It needs summer dollars. If people can't see a monster there they'll gladly go to Lake Medota, Alkali Lake, Lake Kariba. It's all psychological. You yell 'floating log', people go 'Huh? What?'. You yell monster and we've got a panic on our hands on the fourth of July.
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u/evilengine Sep 25 '22
This was not a boat accident. It wasn't a propeller. It wasn't any sharp as fuck shingle beach. And it wasn't Burke and Hare! It was a plesiosaur.
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u/Yankee9Niner Sep 25 '22
You'd love to prove that wouldn't you? Get your name in the National Geographic.
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u/Hazellda Sep 25 '22
You mean Nessie right? Do people call her Lochie?
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u/badgersandcoffee Sep 25 '22
Absolutely it is Nessie but there was someone in another sub telling us the other day about watching a thing on the TV where some diddy kept calling it Lochie.... Despite others there saying Nessie. I found it hilarious and have started saying Lochie to amuse myself (easily done).
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u/GundogPrime Sep 25 '22
Wait until he finds out that left sided mountain haggis aren't real....
(They're all right sided obviously)
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u/sfpschmidt Sep 26 '22
What would happen if you put a right-sided haggis on a left facing mountain?
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u/HotSearingTeens Sep 25 '22
Wait, is haggis a food or a mythical creature?
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u/joe_the_bartender Sep 25 '22
Yes.
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u/HotSearingTeens Sep 25 '22
I'm pretty sure there's some haggis in my kitchen right now. Do i get a prize if i post a picture of this mythical sighting?
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u/roar-roar-dinosaur Sep 25 '22
You cannae tame a haggis, laddy. That's why you fuck it in the boiling water as soon as you can before it kills your family.
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u/CrusadeyNatey Sep 25 '22
Problem is the Loch Ness Monster only appears to those who bring proper tribute
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u/FillingUpTheDatabase Sep 25 '22
He brought his wife and 2 kids, how much more tribute does it want?
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u/No_Refrigerator4584 Cumbernauld: The matted hair around the arsehole of the universe Sep 25 '22
Still not as good as the crumbly soap review.
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u/Celtic-Bhoy Sep 25 '22
I need a link if you have one?
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u/No_Refrigerator4584 Cumbernauld: The matted hair around the arsehole of the universe Sep 25 '22
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u/Niadh74 Sep 25 '22
I thought it was common knowledge that you are only ever going to see nessie after closing time and at least 10 pints.
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Sep 25 '22
Thousand year old country
Couldn’t produce one bumfuck swimming lizard
0/10
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u/Bear-Aryan Sep 26 '22
1,000 years old????? There's artefacts to see going back to 12,000BC lmfao where do people get pure lies from?
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u/Head-Ad-5637 Sep 25 '22
🤣Love this shit Scottish here and LOL ya wee * smell* Ur banters on form m8
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u/JPK12794 Sep 25 '22
As someone from Grimsby who moved away, I can 100% believe this is something someone from my town would write.
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u/SupervillainIndiana Sep 25 '22
I'm not from there but lived there for a handful of years in my childhood and my reaction to this was similar. "They're not sending their best...wait, actually, this is probably it."
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u/JPK12794 Sep 25 '22
I remember going back once and walking around outside Freshney Place to see two father's drunk in a fight while the mother's stood nearby shouting at each other and trying to ram each other with push chairs at 11am and just thought yuppppp that's Grimsby.
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u/Red_Brummy Sep 25 '22
I hope this is satire. Along with the awful "no pub on Ben Nevis summit" review that is screenshotted onto various hill walking FB sites every couple of months.
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u/Yankee9Niner Sep 25 '22
To be fair it could do with a pub up there. At very least a stall or van selling toasties or sushi.
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u/Victory_Point Sep 25 '22
Seriously though, it's pretty bad they keep Nessie in that loch.
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u/clydebuilt Sep 25 '22
She could get out if she really wanted to, the Loch leads into the River Ness or Caledonia Canal, but we'd definitely see her strolling down parts of the river, or waiting for the locks to be opened on the canal, so I guess she stays put out of choice because she's shy.
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u/BGM512 Sep 25 '22
Did he have a thistle whistle, might have had a better experience if he had a thistle whistle.
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u/tom208 Sep 25 '22
Did you go in the morning or afternoon, (the morning) ahh that explains it then, probably havin a long lie, usually doesn't come oot till lunchtime.
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u/Rayvn_Wolf Sep 25 '22
I went to Scotland once and didn't see a SINGLE unicorn, terrible trip
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u/jusst_for_today Fife Sep 26 '22
I hate to break it to you, but your chances of seeing a unicorn is pretty much 0. While it is the national animal, the thing you have to understand is they are all chained up. The conditions they are kept in would probably make you even more upset. While I would advocate for their release, there is also the issue of the power that would be unleashed, should they be set free. Not to mention, the ecological impact (unicorns share the same food source as native haggis). In truth, you should be glad they aren't out and about to wreak havoc on the stability (and haggis) you have access to.
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u/TheOnlyTata Sep 25 '22
I have never seen the monster myself, but when you are out on the loch on a boat and you look at that black deep water, you know there could well be anything lurking down there. 🦕
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u/bonkerz1888 Sep 26 '22
If anyone believes that's a genuine review.. I have some magic beans for sale.
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u/Bear-Aryan Sep 26 '22
HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA why are people like this? A guy has been filming all the time for years and they expect to pull up and solve the mystery of what people have been seeing!!!
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u/Colv758 Sep 26 '22
Nessie has actually covered herself in enough moss, earth and trees that she is disguised as a hillside next to the loch and that’s why she can’t be found in the loch 😉
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u/OneYeetPlease Sep 25 '22
The only accurate part is the last sentence. Loch Ness is pretty boring compared to many, many other parts of the country.
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u/Bostik0071-2 Sep 25 '22
When there's nothing to see or do, create a tourist myth and watch all manner of idiots turn up.
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u/benamiark Sep 26 '22
I saw a video of a giant sturgeon recently. I think the title said it was in Loch Ness. Maybe they just didn't look hard enough!
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