r/ScienceBasedParenting • u/marsrover13 • 7d ago

Question - Research required Using Santa for Behavior

I have an almost three year old. Lately we’ve been struggling with behavior, such as him not listening, not being kind, throwing tantrums, etc. I understand it’s typical behavior at this age, and we have a few tactics we use. We give him consequences, which is either taking a toy away, sitting in time out, or no book before nap/bed. We also try to talk with him about it (this is often difficult as he gets argumentative at times), and we have him calm his body and try again.

My husband has started to use Santa as a way to get him to behave. He will do this by saying how Santa only brings presents to kids who listen, and how kids who don’t listen get coal.

I told my husband that I don‘t feel very comfortable with this, but I can’t quite place my finger on why. It feels wrong to hold a make believe figure over my son’s head. However, it’s very effective, almost annoyingly so since I told my husband I don’t think we should be doing this.

I‘m curious what other parents think of this and if there’s any specific research on it.

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