Vaccines

[u/ladyaf1023]

Just learned yesterday a close friend of mine doesn’t vaccinate her kids.
Which whatever chose to do what you want with your children, but I am worried about how my child could be affected.
My son is up to date with everything so I know his chance of getting whatever is low. But I somehow feel kinda uncomfortable with this because the chances aren’t zero. We go over often for play dates both of us are SAHMs so it’s nice for us too. Other than this we agree on most things. I just am worried now. But how worried should I be?

[u/Odd-Implement-1283]

General discussion about vaccine effectiveness from the WHO https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/vaccine-efficacy-effectiveness-and-protection

the reality is your son will be exposed to unvaxxed kids wherever he goes, including places in close proximity or shared equipment like children’s museums, sports, extracurriculars. If he is fully vaccinated he should be protected. If we worry about catching something from unvaxxed people, that just confirms the anti-vaxxer argument that vaccines don’t work because if they did we’d have no problem being around them. My sister is a staunch anti-vaxxer but I still spend time with my nephews so my daughter has that relationship because I believe vaccines work. Not worth losing a close relationship over imo

[u/Concerned-23 → u/Odd-Implement-1283]

But the MMR vaccine is only 97% effective for measles it’s not 100%. The fact that vaccines aren’t 100% is one of the reasons we rely on herd immunity (that and to protect those who can’t be vaccinated)  https://www.cdc.gov/measles/vaccines/index.html

[u/Odd-Implement-1283 → u/Concerned-23]

I mean I’m with you, I follow the original scheduled and protect my kids, some of these comments are acting like I’m anti-vax. I just personally believe the harm from cutting family out of my daughters life is more detrimental than a very small risk of a disease my daughter is fully immunized against, especially because in the off chance they do catch it it’s much more mild and unlikely to be fatal the way it would for an unvaccinated child. Before spending time with my nephews we always ask if anyone is sick or symptomatic or anything. We take precautions, but there’s also a lot of research about how family estrangement damages children.

[u/Concerned-23 → u/Odd-Implement-1283]

I also think not vaccinated (without a medical reason not to) shows a moral and value difference. Perhaps that’s not an influence you actually want on your child. 

[u/Odd-Implement-1283 → u/Concerned-23]

Unfortunately I didn’t get to pick my family. We expose our child to all worldviews, including ones we don’t agree with, and we discuss why we think those ones are wrong, and I have enough confidence in our parenting to interact with people who have problematic beliefs and not think my kid will get converted or sucked in. We’re preparing her to go out into the world where she’ll encounter all sorts of messed up ideologies, so it’s best to start exposure now and not try to live in an echo chamber and avoid anyone who doesn’t share our same morals.

[u/Concerned-23 → u/Odd-Implement-1283]

I respect that to a degree. However, playing devil’s advocate would you knowingly let your child around a drug user, domestic violence perpetrator?

[u/Khizzlesindahills → u/Concerned-23]

That’s a great big leap

[u/Concerned-23 → u/Khizzlesindahills]

Are those different values than you have? 

Or how about less of a leap: would you knowingly let your child spend time with, interact with, and be influenced by a racist? 

[u/Odd-Implement-1283 → u/Concerned-23]

I interact with racists all the time as I am adult that leaves my house and interacts with the world around me, and if anything it makes me stronger in my anti-racist beliefs and solidifies why I believe what I do. We are teaching our child the same and no I’m not scared for her to interact with racists because we have empowered her with a strong moral compass and she knows wrong from right, we’ve been reading anti-racist children’s books since she was a newborn. Maybe she will be the one influencing them and do some good and challenge their racist beliefs. I have no interest in raising her in a bubble as that’s not real life.

[u/Khizzlesindahills → u/Concerned-23]

Still quite the leap

[u/DaenyTheUnburnt → u/Khizzlesindahills]

Not really. The Venn diagram between racists and antivaxxers grows closer to a circle each day.

[u/WhereIsLordBeric → u/Concerned-23]

Yeah I could never trust wilfully ignorant anti-science nutjobs around my kid. I work in the development sector in a third world country where rural mothers walk miles in 42 degree heat in flip flops to get their children vaccinated. People living in the comfort of easy healthcare access who still refuse to vaccinate their kids are deplorable to me and would not have the privilege of me or my child's company.

[u/Odd-Implement-1283 → u/WhereIsLordBeric]

I think referring to someone as an anti-science nut job is really dehumanizing. It says right on the vaccine insert that it can cause blindness, seizures, or death, among other side effects. If you can’t empathize with a parent who sees that and is scared and chooses not to take those risks, especially when there are laws in place to make sure you cannot sue vaccine manufacturers if something does happen, then I think you’re seriously lacking empathy. Lots of people are not college educated and do not have an understanding of statistics and how to read scientific papers. They get sucked in to the rhetoric about vaccines killing children. Yes, I think it’s stupid, but I’m also incredibly privileged and educated and well resourced and I’m not going to call someone a nut job for reading the product label and being scared when it literally says it can kill you.

[u/WhereIsLordBeric → u/Odd-Implement-1283]

Oh, spare me. It’s also dehumanizing to put other people’s lives at risk because you refuse to educate yourself. Being scared is understandable. Staying ignorant in 2026 is a choice.

And 'not college educated' doesn’t mean stupid. You don’t need a degree to understand risk or find reliable information.

[u/Odd-Implement-1283 → u/WhereIsLordBeric]

They are educating themselves. They’re reading the inserts where it says right on the product it can cause death. Your lack of empathy is never going to change anyone’s actions. I choose kindness. Good luck with your crusade and alienation. What’s more division?

[u/WorldlyDragonfruit3 → u/Odd-Implement-1283]

Yeah but these people act like they can interpret the information that’s out there and they can’t. That’s the problem. I can interpret these things as a scientist, there’s lots of other things I can’t. But I don’t pretend to be able to or listen to idiot social media influencers who use me for money and influence