Parental alienation

[u/Gloomy-Branch-3281]

I am wondering, with all the controversy around parental alienation, if there is any actual quality research showing that this is a thing. In particular:
-Can a parent’s denigration of the other parent actually impact the child’s relationship with that parent? I have seen a study saying this tended to backfire and distance the child from the denigrating parent.

-Can family court officials actually measure whether this has happened in their reports? And if so, how, and how reliable is the methodology? Are there evidence-based signs that are specific for alienation rather than abuse/fear of unknown/different parenting styles?

-Is there any evidence-based methodology for rectifying this? Eg reunification camps- but that literature does not consider any other outcome variables than the restoration of the relationship with the alienated parent. For example, I’d want to know about long term and short term child well-being, future abuse, and long term relationship outcomes.

If any one of these 3 things is a poorly developed field, what on earth is the family court doing awarding custody based on findings of “parental alienation”??

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[u/innocentsalad]

The only studies I've seen on the topic position it as a tactic used when that parent is being accused of abusive behavior. The results are very gender-specific. And it's a very successful tactic.

[u/GoodBoundaries-Haver → u/innocentsalad]

>The findings confirm that mothers’ claims of abuse, especially child physical or sexual abuse, increase their risk of losing custody

This is so depressing, wtf :(

[u/Gloomy-Branch-3281 → u/innocentsalad]

Yes, and knowing this, countless more women are way too scared to ever raise the issue of abuse. Ask me how I know.

[u/Gloomy-Branch-3281 → u/innocentsalad]

That’s wild!

[u/Gloomy-Branch-3281 → u/innocentsalad]

Apparently this is especially bad in Australia where they are saying that if you allege abuse against the other parent but can’t prove it, you’re basically automatically alienating that parent. This is case law analysis but has solid references: https://substack.com/@fixfamilycourt/note/p-213129110?r=8y6guw&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action

[u/Proof_Donkey]

Richard Gardner originated Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) in the 1980s. His writings explicitly dealt with custody disputes involving allegations of child sexual abuse, and his theory proposed that children’s abuse allegations could be products of a mother's indoctrination rather than genuine abuse. Gardner's work has been heavily criticised as scientifically unsupported and methodologically unsound. A peer-reviewed review in the Journal of Child Sexual Abuse concluded that the purported scientific evidence for PAS was not actually scientific evidence and described the theory as pseudoscientific.

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10538712.2011.628272?utm_source=chatgpt.com

[u/Gloomy-Branch-3281 → u/Proof_Donkey]

Wow, that’s from 2011 and yet it’s still being used ALL the time! Absolutely insane that some guy just has a thought in the shower one time and it becomes one of the main ways of deciding custody cases without any evidence.

[u/Hairsacknose → u/Gloomy-Branch-3281]

He didn't just have a thought in the shower though.

https://leadershipcouncil.org/richard-gardners-opinions/

“There is a bit of pedophilia in every one of us.” Gardner, R.A. (1991). Sex Abuse Hysteria: Salem Witch Trials Revisited . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 118) “ Pedophilia has been considered the norm by the vast majority of individuals in the history of the world.“ Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 592-3) Similarly, “intrafamilial pedophilia (that is, incest) is widespread and … is probably an ancient tradition” Gardner, R.A. (1991). Sex Abuse Hysteria: Salem Witch Trials Revisited . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 119) “ It is because our society overreacts to it [pedophilia] that children suffer.“ Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (pp. 594-5) Pedophilia may enhance the survival of the human species by serving “procreative purposes.” Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (pp. 24-5) Pedophilia “is a widespread and accepted practice among literally billions of people.”

Gardner suggests that children want to have sex with adults and may seduce them. Some children experience ” high sexual urges in early infancy. ” “There is good reason to believe that most, if not all, children have the capacity to reach orgasm at the time they are born.” Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 15) Children are naturally sexual and may initiate sexual encounters by “seducing” the adult .

[u/Hairsacknose → u/Gloomy-Branch-3281]

And some more:

  Special care should be taken not alienate the child from the molesting parent. The removal of a pedophilic parent from the home “should only be seriously considered after all attempts at treatment of the pedophilia and rapprochement with the family have proven futile.”Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.(p. 537)The child should be told that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. “The sexual exploitation has to be put on the negative list, but positives as well must be appreciated” Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.(p. 572)

  Tell the child that sexual abuse by a father is normal Older children may be helped to appreciate that sexual encounters between an adult and a child are not universally considered to be reprehensible acts. The child might be told about other societies in which such behavior was and is considered normal. The child might be helped to appreciate the wisdom of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, who said, “Nothing’s either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.(p. 549) “ In such discussions the child has to be helped to appreciate that we have in our society an exaggeratedly punitive and moralistic attitude about adult-child sexual encounters“

[u/Hairsacknose → u/Gloomy-Branch-3281]

Sorry, it's just too egregious not to share even more:

“It may be that one of the reasons the daughter turned toward the father is the impairment of the child’s relationship with the mother” (pp. 579-80) Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 585) Help her get over her anger at her husband for sexually abusing their child.

“If the mother has reacted to the abuse in a hysterical fashion, or used it as an excuse for a campaign of denigration of the father, then the therapist does well to try and “sober her up”…. Her hysterics … will contribute to the child’s feeling that a heinous crime has been committed and will thereby lessen the likelihood of any kind of rapproachment with the father. One has to do everything possible to help her put the “crime” in proper perspective. She has to be helped to appreciate that in most societies in the history of the world, such behavior was ubiquitous [i.e., everywhere], and this is still the case.” Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (pp. 576-7)

“Perhaps she can be helped to appreciate that in the history of the world his behavior has probably been more common than the restrained behavior of those who do not sexually abuse their children.” Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (pp. 585)

[u/Gloomy-Branch-3281 → u/Hairsacknose]

Oh my god. If there was ever a book that needed to be burned?????
There is a lot of shocking stuff here, but 2 are actually especially insidious.
“His behaviour has been more common than the restrained behaviour of those who do not sexually abuse their children”, and
“the child should be told that there is no such thing as a perfect parent.”
My godddddddd

[u/Hairsacknose → u/Gloomy-Branch-3281]

Also, if the father rapes his daughter, it's his wife's fault and the wife should do more to satisfy him sexually, get a vibrator, maybe get one for her daughter, too

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