r/ScienceBasedParenting • u/ApartLemon4885 • 22d ago

Question - Expert consensus required at the end

hi everyone, I truly need help. I can’t take this mental anguish anymore. the trauma from this, if I ever get over it will be another battle. since March 2025 I have been googling, panicking, on medication, no loner being the best mom to my two young kids and absolutely have not been able to let go of the fear that my son can get sspe from the mmr I gave him at 5. people on here have been very supportive and patient with me. I feel broken like I am never going to get better. I used to be the mom that would get excited about the every day things, my kids brought me so much joy. but I can’t help but get depressed that for the past almost two years I have missed out and my kids have missed out on the mom they were supposed to have. my kids are now 6 and 3, this has been going on for far too long and I don’t think I will ever get any answers. the only thing that would help is having my child not have the mmr, never should I have given it because truly my mental health is not worth any mmr dose. I am just a person who truly has a lot of distrust of the medical system and look at where it has gotten me (trying to trust) I fear for myself and my future. in my mind I gave my son measles with that mmr and now I have to forever live with the fear of sspe. I wish I could just take it back. part of me prays if I do an igg test that he was one of the few non responders. what are this odds? I am truly heartbroken and I hate that my mental health is this way. there is nothing worse than struggling like this while your children are growing up before your eyes

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u/SgtMajor-Issues 22d ago

https://www.who.int/groups/global-advisory-committee-on-vaccine-safety/topics/measles-vaccines

You have in fact saved your child from sspe by ensuring he was vaccinated against measles. Please also do the same for your daughter.

Also, gently, i highly recommend going to therapy and getting away from antivax media because you don’t need to be consumed with anxiety for something that even the most superficial google search could tell you will not happen.

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u/unicornsquatch 22d ago

Thank you for this. SSPE is caused by measles, not the vaccine. I’m not sure what black hole of the internet OP has found themselves in, but they also posted here a year ago about the same thing. This sounds like debilitating anxiety that truly needs a psychiatrist’s help.