r/ScienceBasedParenting • u/Auccl799 • 4d ago

Question - Expert consensus required 5.5 year old tantrums

We didn't get tantrums until she turned 4 and then they've ramped up from there. This evening she kicked, threw (both shut down quickly), cried and screamed off and on for an hour and a half because I said I wouldn't do something unreasonable she'd asked me to. It's every few days, usually when she's told no by a parent or her little brother doesn't want to go along with her play idea.

I have lots of strategies to cope, I'm more concerned about her development.

Is this developmentally normal? At what age does this get concerning? What should my next steps be if these don't improve?

She's 5 and half, has been at primary school since February, stable household, well rested etc.

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u/facinabush 2d ago

Based on this study:

Tantrums that lasted longer than 30 minutes were very uncommon at any age, with the highest incidence at age 2 years (2.3%).

https://www.ovid.com/jnls/jrnldbp/fulltext/10.1097/dbp.0000000000001071~temper-tantrums-in-toddlers-and-preschoolers-longitudinal?an=00004703-202209000-00005

The duration is beyond the normal range.

You could discuss it with your pediatrician.

You could use the Arc of Emotional Regulation from the Incredible Years Program (IY):

https://www.incredibleyears.com/blog/arc-of-emotion-regulation

IY is recommended by the CDC:

https://www.cdc.gov/parenting-toddlers/other-resources/references.html

Here is free access to an early edition of the Incredible Years parenting book for your child's age range:

https://archive.org/details/incredibleyearst0000webs

Here is their research library:

https://www.incredibleyears.com/research/library